Oh my god. The Shit ListI promise if I have to work from home, I will bring my work computer with me, no more phone edits
Talking of work, today.... I spent a lot of time trying to explsin to some people that DO NOT ENTER and ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK may be detrimental to their businessesView attachment 96876
Actually snorted with laughter.. husband is so curious what I'm reading!OMG Yes!!! He is soooo Thailand! I can imagine him on his gap year in Thailand in fisherman’s pants, vomiting at a full moon party with his hooray Henry friends with names like ‘johnno.’ Desperately trying time be cool by experimenting with magic mushroom pizzas. You can tell all this just by observing the fact he wears a beanie hat. I have an irrational hatred of men who wear beanie hats.
Can you imagine if someone appeared on here saying ‘I shagged fod in ko Samui in 2003. Ask me anything.’
I totally remember this! He was properly affronted by it but did that stupid video where he was acting all blasé and nonchalant about it.... I think he’d been on a night out and was clearly a bit pissed... and he said something about a wanker being a type of fish and also someone who masterbates prolifically which he certainly did when he was a schoolboy. HE HONESTLY SAID THAT! I’m sure it was on his grid so it’ll be there for his girls to find in years to come. He is so utterly GRIMDo you remember that time way back when fod posted a story about wanking in retaliation for someone calling him a wanker on Mumsnet. Those were gentler times weren’t they? They were really upset.
I remember that! Fondly harking back to the days of being a prolific wanker.I totally remember this! He was properly affronted by it but did that stupid video where he was acting all blasé and nonchalant about it.... I think he’d been on a night out and was clearly a bit pissed... and he said something about a wanker being a type of fish and also someone who masterbates prolifically which he certainly did when he was a schoolboy. HE HONESTLY SAID THAT! I’m sure it was on his grid so it’ll be there for his girls to find in years to come. He is so utterly GRIM
Yesssss so much this! I'm prepared to create a full on Drooling Hun account. A FOD botherer of the highest order, Glory to Fod for he is my Saviour (ooh a hit on his Fodcliff Richard album, not Saviours Day but Savers Day - swipe up for 5% off with code FOD5.... soz got distracted there)I think there will come a point where fod reaches out to his huns and asks them what they want to see in terms of content now that the bottom of the barrel is now a hole. We should instruct him in the hunnest possible way to perform sketches to make us laugh. Massage his ego a bit and tell him he’s got brilliant comic timing and facial expressions. I reckon he’d be up for it.
I remember that! Fondly harking back to the days of being a prolific wanker.
foD, he looks like a poor mans version of Pierce Brosnan here.I promise if I have to work from home, I will bring my work computer with me, no more phone edits
Talking of work, today.... I spent a lot of time trying to explsin to some people that DO NOT ENTER and ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK may be detrimental to their businessesView attachment 96876
I’m fucking DEAD. This is hilarious! Fantasy FOD is so much better than the real thing! FOD on ecstasy I would pay big bucks to seeGod how I love placing god in imaginary posh twat situations. If it all goes tits up for the fod on the ad front, I think we should pool some money together and sponsor him to act out scenarios of our choice. Fod lolz fodder. A bit like what he does with the twins but for our benefit.
Possible scenarios:
1. Fod in primary school. Hand up all the time even though he has no clue what the answer is. Teacher can’t stand him.
2. Fod losing his virginity and spooning the girl afterwards and calling her ‘baby’ and asking her if she liked it.
3. Fod chatting girls up at freshers week.
4. Fod having an argument with mummy and flouncing off and slamming the door because she didn’t find his prank funny.
5. Fod goes to Thailand.
6. Fod accidentally on purpose takes 10 ecstasy tablets by mistake and looks like that bloke on a yacht that went viral a while back.
The possibilities are endless..
I’m fucking DEAD. This is hilarious! Fantasy FOD is so much better than the real thing! FOD on ecstasy I would pay big bucks to see
7. FOD throws up in the back of Jonno’s
mum’s (head of the local WI) car after drinking three cans of weak lager at his first house party and is made to apologise with a bunch of flowers the next day
8. FOD gets initiated into the sixth form rugby team by having a piece of flaming loo roll stuck up his bum and cries about it afterwards
9. FOD falls in love with a ladyboy in Thailand
10. FOD passive aggressively chases a working-class girl who lives in Halls because he wants to be ‘like common people’ - but ends up being beaten up by her brother when he loses at pool.I’m fucking DEAD. This is hilarious! Fantasy FOD is so much better than the real thing! FOD on ecstasy I would pay big bucks to see
7. FOD throws up in the back of Jonno’s mum’s (head of the local WI) car after drinking three cans of weak lager at his first house party and is made to apologise with a bunch of flowers the next day
8. FOD gets initiated into the sixth form rugby team by having a piece of flaming loo roll stuck up his bum and cries about it afterwards
9. FOD falls in love with a ladyboy in Thailand
The dancing is the worst because you just know it’s not a piss take and that he actually thinks he looks cool or that through his dance he’s harking back to his younger, cooler days pulling all nighters at Turnmills or The CrossThis is really what kills me whenever I see it, like it's so cringe, it's so bad, I can't actually look directly into it lest my corneas burn out of my eyeballs. He so obviously used to do this in the single sex dorm rooms of boarders at his little school. If you did that in public venue surely you'd be a danger to other people in the nearby vicinity?
Honestly what would you do if you walked in on your husband doing this???? And then saw he was recording it??
10. FOD passive aggressively chases a working-class girl who lives in Halls because he wants to be ‘like common people’ - but ends up being beaten up by her brother when he loses at p
11. FOD loses his wallet in a Spearmint Rhino’s, goes back the next day to claim it but has to do an hour’s washing up duty before the bouncers let him leave.
12. FOD tries out being a DJ at a techno / house club night but gets his drink spiked and gets arrested for stripping off naked and running down the high street with his penis tucked between his legs.
13. FOD tries his hand at fruit picking whilst backpacking through France farm and gets stung by a swarm of wasps.
Hats off to you my darling. You stay safe and keep well and thank you for all that you doOhhhh I want to stay and playbut work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!
THESE ARE BRILLIANT! Had such a long day with a teething toddler10. FOD passive aggressively chases a working-class girl who lives in Halls because he wants to be ‘like common people’ - but ends up being beaten up by her brother when he loses at pool.
11. FOD loses his wallet in a Spearmint Rhino’s, goes back the next day to claim it but has to do an hour’s washing up duty before the bouncers let him leave.
12. FOD tries out being a DJ at a techno / house club night but gets his drink spiked and gets arrested for stripping off naked and running down the high street with his penis tucked between his legs.
13. FOD tries his hand at fruit picking whilst backpacking through France farm and gets stung by a swarm of wasps.
Thinking of youOhhhh I want to stay and playbut work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!
Ohhhh I want to stay and playbut work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!
Aaah bless you! Sending you loads of love and gratitude.The dancing is the worst because you just know it’s not a piss take and that he actually thinks he looks cool or that through his dance he’s harking back to his younger, cooler days pulling all nighters at Turnmills or The CrossI can’t watch it either, especially when he sort of bites his lower lip and does those stupid ‘brrrraaaaaaaap’ hand movements Did you see the photos from when they did their ‘set’ at Bestival? You could see that FOD was definitely genuinely into it and not in an ironic way. If my husband started behaving like FOD... I just don’t know, I’d think he was having a midlife crisis and I’d be very worried.
Lmaooo DON’T I know exactly what you mean about the biting the lip, I actually just moved my dressing gown to cover my face I cannot deal with how cringe it is. The hand too sksjsysjjwiahahahaThe dancing is the worst because you just know it’s not a piss take and that he actually thinks he looks cool or that through his dance he’s harking back to his younger, cooler days pulling all nighters at Turnmills or The CrossI can’t watch it either, especially when he sort of bites his lower lip and does those stupid ‘brrrraaaaaaaap’ hand movements Did you see the photos from when they did their ‘set’ at Bestival? You could see that FOD was definitely genuinely into it and not in an ironic way. If my husband started behaving like FOD... I just don’t know, I’d think he was having a midlife crisis and I’d be very worried.
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