Missing Blogger Esther Dingley

[Savannah_xx]

Sounds dodgy.

From what I've read, only those with something "off" in their personalities can do this. It's not normal.

One of them is a narc & the other (target) may be normal but suckered in with a sob story.

Yeah, I don't get how they move on super fast like it's nothing. Did you really even care about the person? No one is saying they should wallow in self pity for the rest of their life/ not find another partner eventually.....but when it's so fast ...

 

[Pinkblush]

Just read something saying 'police are looking beyond an accident' .

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I hope she is safe in a women’s refuge somewhat but there doesn’t seem to be any evidence of this what so ever.

 

[Pippa M]

I wonder if the place the partner is staying at has been thoroughly searched. My Miss Marple mind wonders if she is being 'hidden' there.

 

[Shutterbug99]

I think that we wont hear anymore about the source but it sounds convincing.

Sounds convincing, but then it's easy to sound convincing on an internet forum. The truth is, anyone can log on here and say anything. I do find it a bit strange that someone with inside information would rock up on Tattle - but I guess stranger things have happened.

British media stopped reporting on this case (to my knowledge) around two weeks ago. I haven't seen anything since. You'd think a statement of some sort (however vague) would be released if Esther was safe? In any case, I would think the refuge would have informed the police who are investigating her disappearance.

Maybe this is true. Perhaps the poster is based in Spain/has local knowledge of the case. Who knows!

 

[AriaAria]

She said "I think I can see you" twice.

New thought occurred to me now.

What if... considering she made every excuse under the sun to keep extending her time away from him for weeks...

What if she feared him and that phrase publicly posted was to warn him off coming to her? Because it would be too incriminatory if violence occurred to her that week?

I know this is a horrible thought and it creeps me out right now but I've become more aware of victims' instinctive defence tactics even when they aren't consciously aware what they're doing. Because they're stuck inside denial.

Someone wide awake would say f.o and tell her family & get help. But it never works like that.

You might well be right. Maybe she was scared, overwhelmed, not making the best decisions (hence having to ask for food), kept her phone in flight mode so she didn't have to keep "receiving" his messages. Dan made a point of saying how amazing the phone signal was throughout that entire path eastward from Pic de Sauvegarde to Refuge de Venasque, so why did Esther keep telling him there was very bad signal. Was she trying to ward off his messages? Did flight mode cost her her life? Is he acting shifty to avoid his controlling behaviour being made public, is it his image he's trying to control? So many questions.

 

[petitspois]

Dan comes across to me as a tense and possibly controlling person. One of those people that are intelligent but think they are a genius. Self absorbed and a self-styled 'thinker'. Add all of that to the years of incontinence and you have a man that is possibly very angry with his lot in life.

 

[AriaAria]

Great catch LaurieLaurie.

And you brought in a neat curveball wrt timing.



I've seen a bunch of cases in which forensics catches them out just on timing.

So even if he faked an unsent text the last law is forensics. They will know time of death.

You know the first time I saw that video, I remember wondering if meeting the rescue guys actually gave him the idea to do the same thing to Esther (and then blame it on an accident). The coincidences are way too similar.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I just watched that for the first time. To me, he doesn’t come across as I would expect. Your partner is missing, you’re worried sick, you don’t sleep well, you’re helpless and vulnerable.., the last thing you want us to be interviewed because of the state you’re in. Ok, everyone’s different but he was calm enough to confidently correct his ‘I loved her’. He doesnt have the air of an anxious boyfriend, worried sick about the welfare of his girlfriend who could be trapped with broken limbs and starving to death. More like a man who is almost enjoying his interview and directing the situation.

Whenever I watch interviews like this I always think it’s strange. I would have to be sedated if anyone in my family went missing, appealing would be the last thing I would ever do.

 

[Merpedy]

spoke about her in the past tense when she went missing

Wasn't there a case where a reporter realised that the neighbour was doing this exact thing and that's how it led the police to suspect him?
It seems like a huge thing to ignore, especially with all the other stuff mentioned

 

[Pippa M]

I just hope someone did not take her and is keeping her prisoner in some cellar somewhere...and mistreating her.
She seemed to be a nice decent person and I am sure she would not torture her family if she was alive and free.

 

[Estella]

New to thread, but have been following for a while and have read the entire thread.one thing that I dont think hasn't been explored enough is the idea that she did come down from the mountain. What evidence is there that she didnt return to her van and/or Dan, or someone else. Then the body transported to the Pic de la Glere, seemingly the most treachurous part of the area ED was hiking to make it look like she fell.

 

[SvenS]

Everything I've read suggests if she made it to the refuge she was trying to reach, the signal would have been fine to send a message.

From what I've seen, there was no mobile signal at the refuge. But if she had continued her planned route the next day, then within 30mins of leaving the hut, she would have reached an area with mobile coverage.

He will not have known the extent of the mobile signal coverage and it's not unfeasible that she could be walking in an area without signal for a day or two.

The past tense is probably a bit of a red-herring at this point. It was a good 2 weeks from her going missing, very unlikely anyone would survive that long. So he will have been dealing with the likely prospect she had perished on the mountain. If he'd referred to her in the past tense a day after she went missing, that would be different. The other possibility is he had fallen out of love with her a long time ago and it was just a truthful slip; that alive or dead, he didn't love her anymore.

 

[Johara]

I take you’re well qualified in this field?

Tilly just to give you context, this is what sent me into covert narcissist territory.

He writes in his book (sells on Amazon, June 2020) that they cancelled their wedding 7 years ago because:

“What was supposed to be a chance to rediscover our love of one another did, at times, seem to have transformed into a festering pit of mutual loathing”.

And

“It was around this time that any last traces of romance slipped away from us. We clung on to the belief that we still loved each other, but beneath all the animosity, it was hard.”

Imagine how she felt?

Imagine your boyfriend wrote about your relationship like this?

For the world to read.

1. It's cruel.
2. Why bother continuing 7 years later?
3. Your boyfriend could say perhaps we realised we weren't equipped to be life partners.
4. A normal boyfriend wouldn't use words like loathing about you. It's almost worse than hate.

* not adding the link to The Times article that I did back on p 3 as it seemed to copy all Tattle posts for days. See p 3 of this thread for the link where his book excerpts were published.

I find things like this really interesting, I don’t have any experience other than watching Faking It ha ha!! I love watching people’s body language but I really didn’t see anything in that clip to alarm me, maybe I should watch it again based on what you say.
If he has said all these things in his book then surely he will know he’s the prime suspect, would he really harm her knowing the finger will be pointed at him based on what he has said?
Also, she looked really happy on that last photo, didn’t look like a woman who was unhappy or was planning on disappearing into oblivion. Just my opinion.

Tilly if I hadn't read what he wrote I may not have observed him in a new way.

I think my jaw dropped a bit when I read it.

These personality disorders are no joke. One could say that they think they are normal and so they do things that shock us but they don't realise it.

The key sign is lack of empathy for others.

Unfortunately - in my opinion based on the revelations in his book and his words - we have here a sweet lady who does her best to please him.

A lady whose self esteem has been so eroded that she puts on a smile to cover heartache and runs off to the mountains to get away when she can.

June 2020 when he published that hateful book must have been crushing for her.

 

[PeggyHenry]

Hi
Just joined ... been following case on websleuths but it is so restricted there and we can’t talk about DC with respect to possible involvement. I seem to share most of your opinions that DC needs investigating. I also firmly believe the cops are playing a clever game here..... anyway so tired now but look forward to discussing more tomorrow!

 

[Pollyanna263]

Who lets their partner go on a big hike like that with worn down boots? Like I get she’s an adult, can’t force boots on someone etc etc. But still… you wouldn’t right? You would insist on new boots because you love & care about them and are invested in their safety. Even if they are stubborn you make it a non negotiable because it is literally the difference between life and death.

And when she was missing didn’t he claim she had all the right gear? And now it turns out she was wearing unsuitable, worn out boots. Hmmm.

eta: also her wearing old worn out boots fits the suggestion of him controlling finances. Hmmm.

She had crampons with her but wasn’t wearing them. I find that very strange considering the path she was on.

 

[Showmethemoonie]

It would be way too unrealistic & dramatic for hikers to stumble over her

I’m personally not wedded to any particular theory re: accident/suicide/foul play but there are lots of reasons why the skull fragment might have only just been found. Snow melt, percolation through rocks, moved by animals, dropped by vultures, trails only just been reopened for the summer.

If you spend any significant amount of time in mountains you know how easily accidents can happen and how hard it might be to locate/recover a body. I just hope this latest discovery helps the police get to the bottom of what really happened.

 

[sassmaster3000]

Surely if she was leaving her partner , she could’ve left word with the police to stop them spending thousands looking?

I also don’t really buy into the theory that she disappeared on her own accord.
I also have luckily never been in this situation. But I’m fairly certain that if I feared for my own life and felt that disappearing/faking my death was the only way to ensure my own safety, then I would probably also not alert the police. They would have to give some sort of explanation to the partner about why they were scaling back the search, and just the tiny sliver of a chance that he got wind of anything would be enough to make me keep my mouth shut.
Also when you’re fearing for your life, I’m pretty sure police time and money would seem fairly minor in comparison. I think the only people I’d want to inform would be my mother (but if it would jeopardise my chances of a safe escape then I probably wouldn’t even do that).

Also after typing all of that out, I’ve realised I unknowingly have a subconscious escape plan and daaaamn that speaks volumes on my last relationship (now over, definitely for the best!).

 

[Bellaboo83]

Such a strange press release. Why is he trying so hard to control what the press say... The McCans did the same...

 

[Johara]

"Where we say we want love
But stay addicted to hate".


You might think my psychological sleuthing is OTT but you'd have to have been entangled with one of these PDs to understand how dangerous they are.

I and others I know received death threats.

It's years ago but still horrifies me to know how close I came to a real life demon.

This case has me hooked. I did some reading of the posts uploaded on Facebook by Esther Nov 19th 10:19. - It talks about her experience of how she was doubting herself but makes it then it goes to talk about the mystery man she met she had the option of staying in this great cabin or going down and hitching a ride .. I just found this part of the sentence weird. " he'd take me with er up the valley. " .

I noticed it is the only typo in the message, reading it I first read **with her** .

I don't know why but this feeling is telling me she never wrote this, I think Dan is involved somehow.
(clutching at straws I know but my mind gets carried away lol)

It takes courage to voice your thoughts and hunches in a PC world.

There's a lot off about this case. Thanks for contributing stuff for us to think about.

Yes the spelling error wasn't like her. It could be "further" or "with her" if predictive spelling meddled with her typing. Either way it shows excitement on her part.

Even if he had nothing to do with it, he’s a real pseudo-intellectual isn’t he?

PetitPois, did you read the last one I posted that ends:

"We say we want love but stay addicted to hate"?

Est-il mal a la tete? Guessing you speak French from your moniker. My French is not great btw. School French.

Here's the bestselling guide to this stuff.

And the summary on Amazon:

The experts say these disorders overlap in people. Eg NPD + Borderline is common in the same person.

Dangerous facts about Borderlines:

- capable of killing if they know their partner is thinking of leaving

- the most dangerous time is just before you leave

- no object constancy so all the love you gave in the past does not count. Only your most recent bad deed

- you cannot reason with them. They become explosive, violent suddenly without warning

- they are incapable of processing their emotions and rage can consume them totally

- hypersensitive and hypervigilant to potential abandonment or rejection

- very vengeful

I forgot to add their charm is the most dangerous part of it all.

These are people adept at winning friends and charming strangers, as long as it remains surface level.

Only intimate partners get to meet Mr Hyde.

I did a search for French mountain deaths.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-51237315

Two British men mysteriously fell off the French Alps a month apart.

In early 2020.

Nothing in the Pyrenees. But it does show it happens & in fishy circumstances.