Vlog Monday 12th October
- She's disorganised today. She's going on a staycation to a wine estate with Cawwee. They're taking Bolly moo moo with them. Lumi is on the mend but she goes in waves. Getting to take her medication is a nightmare. Breaking news just in: You’re an dumbass. Listen to the advice your followers are giving you that there are poisonous plants in your garden.
- She doesn't have an intinary for the trip. She feels she doesn't have enough good outfits. She's packed 3 bags and 5 coats for 2 days however. She feels in the dark as she doesn't know what to expect. You do realise you said that out loud, right?
- This is making up for the holiday that was ruined at The Grove. It was ridiculous she fangs. They had been looking forward to it for Lynx's anniversary. She hopes nothing interrupts her this time. But she's had acupuncture and she feels nothing can really phase her. Lydia, please tell the negative committee which meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.
- She's got some hula hoops for the trip. She mentions AGAIN Cawwee's 'friend' stole them. You play victim so well Lydia I'm surprised you don't carry around your own body chalk.
- She lisps at the room, the views Cawwee the views. She says good luck to the guy who has to bring her bags in from the car as she's packed for a month. Your blood tests came back from the lab showing remarkably high levels of douchebag.
- She needs to find a more autumnal lip balm as she has her summer one on. Somewhere, someone is thinking about you and the tremendous impact you had on their lives. It's not me. I think you're an idiot.
- A wine and confectionary haul. She got some non-decaf coffee and balsam for Ali. And 3 bottles of wine for herself, she states she might share with Cawwee. She hisses no doubt she'll buy some more expensive tit because that's what she likes to do.
- She's been sat outside in the hallway as there was a swarm of daddy long legs in the room. She says hopefully they die in the night. Wasn't you in the last vlog afraid to watch David Attenborough as you don't like all the animal moo moos dying? Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years without a brain surely gives hope to you.
- At breakfast, she saw the glasses she wants to order and some napkins, which she jokes she wants to add Lydia is great on them. Your pompous attitude and condescending comments have convinced me that you are smart and very important. Said no one ever.
- They booked a pub but it was not their type of pub. She's now going to be breathing garlic fire after lunch. I guess with the jutting jaw and all that racing green you do resemble Drogan.
- They go in antique shops and wine merchants. The village does look beaut TBF. Everyone was so friendly she acknowledges as they let the puppy dog in the shops. She's waiting in the car whilst Cawwee goes to pick up the things she bought and put them in the boot. Standard. Slothy. Sloth.
- Man United are staying at the same hotel. She's going to hook Cawwee up with a footballer. Cawwee says her 'friend' is more than enough for her. It's not that I don't care. Wait yes it is.
- She had a gluten free meal but then screwed herself over with a gluten desert. She literally had chips with every meal. She needs to go for a run in the morning. She doesn't. They went to bed at 9:30pm.
- She's not seen the sea since 2019. Brighton wasn't her favourite, it was when she was younger, but her tastes have clearly evolved. You really are a peach. And by peach I mean witch.
- She says she's going to stop looking like a mole now. Ali asked her if she's drunk when she got back as her eyes look so tired. She's burnt the candle at both ends. Lydia, you've just been on a wellbeing retreat with massages. I am usually quite fluent in 'dumbass', but your dialect is quite extreme.
- She wrote Ali a card from Lumi saying thank you for emptying my litter tray. She's bought another sage tea towel and apron. Yawn.