Elle Belle
Chatty Member
I've just watched Lydia's latest vlog rather than unpack, both can be argued to be as equally dull. 
- She's woke up with a spring in her step as she thought her cleaner was coming, but then remembered the lucky moo is on holiday for 2 weeks. She left the bungalow to get messy as she knew the cleaner was coming. Lydia, you have so much skank in your DNA.
- She's going on a press trip to the Shard. Why does she flick her hair every time she mentions she's a GHD ambassador though? I would insult your hair here, but but you would only take it as a complement Lydia.
- She advises Lumi is going to be livid as they've been snuggling like besties with Ali being away. Lumi gives no shits Lydia. You really shouldn't act this hard to get when you're already so hard to like.
- She's popped on her Reiss jumpsuit to pack and clean the house. Normal people wear joggers. Sorry you can't see the fact that you're batshit crazy.
- She's taking nice pyjamas, comfy clothes and maybe a nice outfit to wear drinking cocktails in the hotel room, but will probably just wear her pyjamas. So you go all the way to London to wear pyjamas, but in your house you dress up to compete will a stage performing drag queen. Girllll makes no sense.
- She slummed it on her last trip and used Ali's hairdryer. She's going to treat him to a new one. Why. Don't. You. Just. Let. Him. Share. Yours? You know like most couples.
- She's on the hunt for a mask that doesn't destruct her makeup as much. There's only one trouble with your face Lydia - it shows - even with a mask!
- Cawwee decided that as Lydia's not got much to do tomorrow they can drink some wine tonight. I guess you have an entire life to be an idiot so what's another day off?
- She realises the suite is all hers, 'wait am I staying in this suite?', cue all the arm flapping, screeching, lisping and so on. She later tells us she made a tit and a knob of herself for not realising it's her suite. We know Lydia. We just watched. She apparently needs to get cooler at being a blogger who knows she's staying in suites. You just read it out that you're staying in a suite with 360 views. On camera. At the beginning of the vlog. What a pretentious fake dumb ass. This will obviously take up a whole chapter in her autobiography. The autobiography though. What, and I cannot express this enough, the fuck?
- She emphasises it's a bougie bath in a boogie suite. Even in the description she's bragged it's a 3K per night stay. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
- She's not tried the GHD Rise, as she's waiting for the GHD girl to show her, as last time she did it all wrong. Do we get to see this demonstration? That'll be a no. She's used GHD's since she was 16. She definitely said since 10 in another vlog or post until we pointed out GHD hasn't been established that long. I know you eat a lot of gluten, but can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are Lydia.
- She shows us the toilet and says she always remembers the toilets in this hotel. A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina.
- She's actually doing a giveaway for one of the GHD Rise. These are the only giveaways she ever does. Well you know because they're free.
- It launched on the 14th August. She then said the GHD Glide sold out in weeks. So why the fuck are you promoting this weeks later when it could have already sold out? Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
- She reads out the description of the GHD Rise and acknowledges it sounds more intelligent than her. Don't be too hard on yourself Lydia. The only thing I don’t like about you is that constant inhaling and exhaling habit you have.
- She's on third day hair. She's happy she doesn't have to wash her hair tonight either. What. A. MF. Skanky. Lazy. Ass.
- She advises make sure you brush your hair before using it as well. I advise make sure you don't bleach your hair 4 times in one day. Apparently the GHD Rise gives definition to the colours in her hair. RED and yellow and pink...I can sing a rainbow.
- She's caved and ordered chips before dinner. Again. Who actually does this? You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals Lydia.
- Cawwee's opening the champagne and Lydia says don't point it in my direction. I've never prayed for something more. She says here's to post-corona cheersing. What the actual fuck? I go away for a week and not only is she writing an autobiography, but the pandemic is over too. Come back and talk to us when your I.Q. exceeds your age Lydia.
- She answers the room phone saying Millen residence, and then tells the staff member they're both gluten free and make sure they bring lots of mayo and lots of ketchup. You really can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
- Cawwee thinks Lydia needs to start growing sunflowers and taking her vegetables to competition. She's joking, obviously, but you can literally see the cogs in Lydia's brain turning.
- The happy birthday Miranda thing. (It's a video that went viral last year of a couple wishing their friend Mirander HB from the Shard). But if you don't explain the context the giggling lisping shit coming from her mouth is just not funny.
- She highlights the vegetable salad starter is one big plate of Lydia's favourites. My irony detector just exploded.
- Cawwee asks where Lydia's champagne is, she says on the coffee table, Cawwee asks are you not finishing it, she says yeah and hand gestures for Cawwee who has just sat down at the dining table to go and get it. You have your head so far up your ass Lydia, you can literally chew your food twice.
- Cawwee says if Lydia was here with her husband and she with her friend they wouldn't be sat here in their pyjamas. Didn't you once put a shit load of spot cream on your face when you got into bed on your anniversary trip with Ali though? #couplegoals
- She just said to Cawwee 'remember I spat some of that out' whilst Cawwee goes to get the bread. You should really come with a warning label Lydia.
- She tells us they've shared knickers. If she's got coronavirus then Cawwee's got coronavirus. I don’t know what your problem is Lydia, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
- Cawwee's friend told her she walks like 'Micky' from the east end. Spot on fwwwenddd. Spot on.
- Yep she does get in the car in her sweaty yoga kit. Lydia, you didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from you.
- She wishes they had gone for a night walk along the Thames, but they had champagne. You must have been good at arithmetics at school; you add dullness, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
- She's woke up with a spring in her step as she thought her cleaner was coming, but then remembered the lucky moo is on holiday for 2 weeks. She left the bungalow to get messy as she knew the cleaner was coming. Lydia, you have so much skank in your DNA.
- She's going on a press trip to the Shard. Why does she flick her hair every time she mentions she's a GHD ambassador though? I would insult your hair here, but but you would only take it as a complement Lydia.
- She advises Lumi is going to be livid as they've been snuggling like besties with Ali being away. Lumi gives no shits Lydia. You really shouldn't act this hard to get when you're already so hard to like.
- She's popped on her Reiss jumpsuit to pack and clean the house. Normal people wear joggers. Sorry you can't see the fact that you're batshit crazy.
- She's taking nice pyjamas, comfy clothes and maybe a nice outfit to wear drinking cocktails in the hotel room, but will probably just wear her pyjamas. So you go all the way to London to wear pyjamas, but in your house you dress up to compete will a stage performing drag queen. Girllll makes no sense.
- She slummed it on her last trip and used Ali's hairdryer. She's going to treat him to a new one. Why. Don't. You. Just. Let. Him. Share. Yours? You know like most couples.
- She's on the hunt for a mask that doesn't destruct her makeup as much. There's only one trouble with your face Lydia - it shows - even with a mask!
- Cawwee decided that as Lydia's not got much to do tomorrow they can drink some wine tonight. I guess you have an entire life to be an idiot so what's another day off?
- She realises the suite is all hers, 'wait am I staying in this suite?', cue all the arm flapping, screeching, lisping and so on. She later tells us she made a tit and a knob of herself for not realising it's her suite. We know Lydia. We just watched. She apparently needs to get cooler at being a blogger who knows she's staying in suites. You just read it out that you're staying in a suite with 360 views. On camera. At the beginning of the vlog. What a pretentious fake dumb ass. This will obviously take up a whole chapter in her autobiography. The autobiography though. What, and I cannot express this enough, the fuck?
- She emphasises it's a bougie bath in a boogie suite. Even in the description she's bragged it's a 3K per night stay. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
- She's not tried the GHD Rise, as she's waiting for the GHD girl to show her, as last time she did it all wrong. Do we get to see this demonstration? That'll be a no. She's used GHD's since she was 16. She definitely said since 10 in another vlog or post until we pointed out GHD hasn't been established that long. I know you eat a lot of gluten, but can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are Lydia.
- She shows us the toilet and says she always remembers the toilets in this hotel. A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina.
- She's actually doing a giveaway for one of the GHD Rise. These are the only giveaways she ever does. Well you know because they're free.
- It launched on the 14th August. She then said the GHD Glide sold out in weeks. So why the fuck are you promoting this weeks later when it could have already sold out? Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
- She reads out the description of the GHD Rise and acknowledges it sounds more intelligent than her. Don't be too hard on yourself Lydia. The only thing I don’t like about you is that constant inhaling and exhaling habit you have.
- She's on third day hair. She's happy she doesn't have to wash her hair tonight either. What. A. MF. Skanky. Lazy. Ass.
- She advises make sure you brush your hair before using it as well. I advise make sure you don't bleach your hair 4 times in one day. Apparently the GHD Rise gives definition to the colours in her hair. RED and yellow and pink...I can sing a rainbow.
- She's caved and ordered chips before dinner. Again. Who actually does this? You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals Lydia.
- Cawwee's opening the champagne and Lydia says don't point it in my direction. I've never prayed for something more. She says here's to post-corona cheersing. What the actual fuck? I go away for a week and not only is she writing an autobiography, but the pandemic is over too. Come back and talk to us when your I.Q. exceeds your age Lydia.
- She answers the room phone saying Millen residence, and then tells the staff member they're both gluten free and make sure they bring lots of mayo and lots of ketchup. You really can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
- Cawwee thinks Lydia needs to start growing sunflowers and taking her vegetables to competition. She's joking, obviously, but you can literally see the cogs in Lydia's brain turning.
- The happy birthday Miranda thing. (It's a video that went viral last year of a couple wishing their friend Mirander HB from the Shard). But if you don't explain the context the giggling lisping shit coming from her mouth is just not funny.
- She highlights the vegetable salad starter is one big plate of Lydia's favourites. My irony detector just exploded.
- Cawwee asks where Lydia's champagne is, she says on the coffee table, Cawwee asks are you not finishing it, she says yeah and hand gestures for Cawwee who has just sat down at the dining table to go and get it. You have your head so far up your ass Lydia, you can literally chew your food twice.
- Cawwee says if Lydia was here with her husband and she with her friend they wouldn't be sat here in their pyjamas. Didn't you once put a shit load of spot cream on your face when you got into bed on your anniversary trip with Ali though? #couplegoals
- She just said to Cawwee 'remember I spat some of that out' whilst Cawwee goes to get the bread. You should really come with a warning label Lydia.
- She tells us they've shared knickers. If she's got coronavirus then Cawwee's got coronavirus. I don’t know what your problem is Lydia, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
- Cawwee's friend told her she walks like 'Micky' from the east end. Spot on fwwwenddd. Spot on.
- Yep she does get in the car in her sweaty yoga kit. Lydia, you didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from you.
- She wishes they had gone for a night walk along the Thames, but they had champagne. You must have been good at arithmetics at school; you add dullness, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
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I can't wait to witness Lydia living her best life on the loo in the powder room.
. Time will tell. Sometimes you have to be #CRUEL TO BE KIND.