Lydia Millen #185 Two kitchens but she still can’t cook, instead she ‘wrote’ a booky wook.
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Been checking out the site where the signed copy can be ordered from, let's just say I'm highly dubious if she broke that site as well.
Lydia changes her name to go along with each new personality.
Lydia Elise Millen - laughing gas seller/Ibiza promo girl turned into fitness and fashion blogger.
Lydia Elise Millen-Gordon - abuser and seasoned bully of pregnant hairdressers among others.
Lydia Millen - holier than though, Hermes connesiur and PoW wannabe.
She has dropped both Elise and Gordon from her name in an attempt to distance herself from her crappy actions as LEMG.
Lydia Elise Millen - laughing gas seller/Ibiza promo girl turned into fitness and fashion blogger.
Lydia Elise Millen-Gordon - abuser and seasoned bully of pregnant hairdressers among others.
Lydia Millen - holier than though, Hermes connesiur and PoW wannabe.
She has dropped both Elise and Gordon from her name in an attempt to distance herself from her crappy actions as LEMG.
My Life in Short Trousers by Lips GordonInspired entirely by @Al Fresco and her ‘Everdim‘…
Have been trying to think of the title of Lips’ debut book, which will no doubt be hot on the coat-tails of his wife who doesn’t want his name.
After all he’s already well set up in the study department in order to become a vibrant member of the Literati and Inteligencia!
Progress so far;
Everclever
Never-ready
Shortspell
Gingerbinger
Sockless In Me Prattle
Loro Loro Laffs
Reigning Daxon Dogs
Let us know in the comments below what you think his debut book should be called…
Sequel is My Life in the Closet
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Screaming!!!! Do you think learning how to do an autograph is why she has taken up calligraphy
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@Miscanthus you’ve outdone yourself!!Thank you to all 51 of you who voted for my thread title
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"The Author"
* Yes, the secret personalmoneygrabfinancial project that Lidl has been ‘working on’ for nine months is a debut book. “Viola!”, as @Rexysmum would say!
* After months of hints we heaved a sigh of relief that it wasn’t a pregnancy…or should I just say we heaved…
* Our country-dwelling, veg-growing, dress-wearing, old money calligrapher is now the author of Evergreen.
* The book is 200 pages of lessons, tips and exercises from slothy Lidl. We suspect there are plenty of blank pages fordoodlescolouringnotes too.
* It’s available from publisher Orion Spring in “hardbook” (sic), paperback, ebook and audio book and can be pre-ordered for the "price guaranteed" sum of £17.99 (hardback).
* Pay now and you can wait months for the launch date of October 12 2023 (March 2024 in the US). Best of all, you can return it within 30 days!
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* The book was spotted on Amazon by super sleuth Tattler @Cmkchick a day earlier than Lidl’s announcement. It spoilt Lidl's count down. Oh dear, how sad, never mind!
* Our poll predictions (thread #181) came close to guessing but it was @Al Fresco who guessed correctly back in May…
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* Of course it would be remiss to not mention @Oops... Finbar Fanfare of Announcement Furball who predicted it was a book collab with life coach Jacqueline Hurst!
* In her Vlog Lidl spent most of the time talking about the book’s green floral cover - where she appears to have dropped both her middle name and her married name - and how to buy it, without any details of the contents or the writing process. That’s because the only idea she had was the green cover and she didn’t write it!
* This is the woman who plagiarised her monthly word salad musings, then copied her own work the following year!
* She’s encouraging people to buy multiple copies across all formats. We can read it, decorate our homes with it, give it as Christmas presents, pass it down to our children, take notes on it.... but we don’t know what’s in it!
* Plus there’s the audio book, where we can listen to The Author reading it slowly in her best Princess voice.
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* The book is “the hug I can’t give you” she smugly states. Who wants a hug from boney, smelly you, Lidl?
* We will be moved by it, she adds. Yes, I'm moving as far away from you as possible #faketan #sweatyfeet #doggyaroma #toomuchperfume
* It’s a self help / wellbeing book (we think) but trending at number one in Amazon’s Gardening and Conservatories section.....or was it the Fashion and Style section? Even they don't know!
* We are puzzled about the reference to "picking herself up from her personal rock bottom". There are so many things it could be - #hairgate/#globygate/#savoygate/#horsegate/homelessness!
* Whatever rock bottom is we are wondering if she will elaborate or play the victim
* We are poised to spot any plagiarism from self help books and antique books purchased for her birthday (Nature Rambles volumes 1-4).
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* The proof readers among us are about to have a breakdown at the thought of illiterate idiot going into print. She can't even proof read her posts #bare
* We amused ourselves by thinking up alternative names for the book - Ever Mean, Ever Hopeful, Ever Clever, and ...( thanks @SauceBoy )
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* We are annoyed that so many authors can't get publishing deals but then they don't have "£3million followers across all platforms" - well neither do you Lidl.
* We are wondering why her PR agency Belle PR didn't suggest a discount for subscribers or a competition to win a copy. #moneygrab
* She's broken the internet with requests for signed copies...
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* The only fangirling has been from Lauren, the l.a. way, and sisters/employees Fi and Cawwie.
* We look forward to the book tour and are stocked up with mini eggs and bananas.
* We realised why she furnished the Wisteria Room with an antique writing desk (not to be confused with the antique table where Diana Princess of Wales did not sign her name). Stand by for a picture of The Author at her desk, calligraphy pen in hand, ready to sign her name with a flourish.
In other news (was there other news?):
*The MGs were at Bicester spending a voucher on clothes by designers they can’t pronounce. Lidl was praised by Loro Piano for her selling power.
* Lidl spend the day laughing nervously with her current Cotswold idol @irenemylife. She wore white linen and gold accessories to pose holding Irene’s chickens and didn’t understand the term 'broody'. Lidl took Irene, who has a huge productive garden, a small bunch of white sweet peas.
* Lidl and Cawwie were at Blenheim Palace for afternoon tea but didn’t visit the exhibitions. Instead they paraded around screeching and drunk yet seemed surprised people recognised Lidl.
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* Lidl was pictured front and centre in her “perfect for Ibiza”, mismatched pattern dress at an Elizabeth Arden Retinol Residency event. Most of the other influencers were in trousers.
* At 4am she asked to move hotel rooms for the rest of the night as she saw a spider!!!
Thanks to @BrookeDavis, @Allexie01 @Namima @Peppypoopar @Al Fresco @Julia123 for the screenshots
…. your wrists must be exhausted 
… perhaps a pre-order is required….the self-appointed self-help guru must surely have a ‘how to’ chapter on when it’s time to pop on a robe and pop off a cork, and take oneself to thy country couch for some much needed rest. 
Rest up, this thread is sure to fly by fast! XxA book to pass down to your children, grand-children and great, great grandchildren?!?!?? Seriously?!?? I guess she thinks her masterpiece is akin to War and Peace, Les Miserables, or To Kill a Mockingbird. I’m sure she will mention that she’d like it to be required reading for all English Literature classes and a must read for psychiatrists/life coaches 
??? She thinks her silly book should share a space on the shelf with the many greats such as Victor Hugo, Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare??? What a narcissistic, crazy woman she is - she is really lost.
??? She thinks her silly book should share a space on the shelf with the many greats such as Victor Hugo, Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare??? What a narcissistic, crazy woman she is - she is really lost.I'm not taking advice from the illiterate Lydiot!@Miscanthus you’ve outdone yourself!!
I'm just taking pre orders for @Oops... poetry book. There seems to be so much more interest in that! I'm sure she doesn't charge extra for signed copies and we will probably get a free paw print from Teddy BARE!
… close enough
I see @Cmkchick has 
the recap.
Thank you and thanks again for spotting the book on Amazon. Absolutely brilliant!
the recap.Thank you and thanks again for spotting the book on Amazon. Absolutely brilliant!
I’d like to paint some white and use them for putting plants on. That’s the only possible good they could do in the world.
@Miscanthus the recap has me going in these dark times. Thank you.
I think we should thank Rectum for bringing attention to the book bombing article, directly on Lydia’s socials. Maybe she is one of us after all. I also think she lives for the attention we give her here. Makes her feel like an influencer. If she only knew.
I think we should thank Rectum for bringing attention to the book bombing article, directly on Lydia’s socials. Maybe she is one of us after all. I also think she lives for the attention we give her here. Makes her feel like an influencer. If she only knew.
Sensing a bit of Wallace and Gromit with the Wonk ummm... I mean Wrong Trousers lol, thanks about doing the possible book cover design hehe.
I wonder if she’ll get invited to speak at the Oxford Union?A book to pass down to your children, grand-children and great, great grandchildren?!?!?? Seriously?!?? I guess she thinks her masterpiece is akin to War and Peace, Les Miserables, or To Kill a Mockingbird. I’m sure she will mention that she’d like it to be required reading for all English Literature classes and a must read for psychiatrists/life coaches
Lol! She's spreading the word for us! Love it!
I think she's voted too....there are some dubious ones!
Maybe Oxford Station, she could announce the train times in her POW voice!
She speaks too slowly to do the Speaking Clock....we'd all be running behind schedule!
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It's actually embarassing and insulting that any publisher would do this. To "celebrate" somebody who cannot even spell properly, let alone somebody without a proper education and/or an English Literature degree is an example of how so many priorities are wrong these days. She is an uneducated idiot, who cannot even speak properly, and makes spelling mistakes in her post to launch her new career as "an author". You honestly couldn't make it up!!!
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Late to the announcement, and I hate myself for saying it, but I love the cover.. If it was a notebook or a diary, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. (Not if it she was the one selling it obviously)
That’s ok, after all it’s not a new concept
, it’s been done before and copied very successfully by our Elsie. - Status