Lydia Millen #141 Ascot hat woes, unrestrained toes, Lavazza sales rep promos = new career lows

[Miscanthus]

Congratulations to @Catcher_In_The_Lie for the brilliant thread title with 33 votes

In a stiff competition the winner of the Weak Wrist of the Week Award goes to..... Ali.
His wrist was well and truly slapped out of his boxer shorts by his wife when he was fangirling Splainer in the dark, robbing him of a happy ending. Get well soon Ali! And commiserations...

This recap was written on a blustery afternoon, just sayin! Yup, another quiz, sorry! (Less typing...)

What upset Lidl so much she couldn't vlog for two nights?
A. Bullying a pregnant hairdresser
B. Seeing a woman collapse at The Ascot
C. Travelling to Azerbaijan for the night
D. Going to a concert at the O2

What feature does Lidl like to draw attention to?
A. Her trotters
B. Her wonky boobs
C. Her thigh gap
D. Her cankles

Lidl visited her grandmother...the one who took her in when she was "homeless".... What gift did she take with her?
A. An orange blossom cake
B. A home grown ( in Daylesford ) lemon
C. A jar of home made chutney
D. A bouquet of holey lettuce leaves from the kitchen garden

Lidl told viewers to be "conscious" that a dress she bought in every colour was...
A. Greasy
B. Creasy
C. Classy
D. Crass

What does Lidl have in her English village garden "boarders"?
A. Hollyhock
B. Slugs
C. Foxgloves
D. A gardener

Lidl describes herself as..
A. Endearing
B. Enduring
C. Desperate
D. Amazing

What water sport has Lidl been doing this week?
A. Vertical swimming
B. Synchronised swimming
C. Water boarding
D. Washing "really well"

Who was Lidl twinning with this week?
A. Naked PR man Chris
B. Ali
C. Fairmont hotels PR Nick
D. Grossie

What "didn't have what it takes to thrive in this fast paced environment"
A. Her fashun sense
B. Grossie
C. A fern
D. Her authenticity

What did 'model' Lidl describe as "her runway"?
A. The airport
B. The M1
C. Her private lane
D. Her garden

What was Lidl sad about?
A. She forgot to leave instructions for watering the Greedhouse
B. Her failing career
C. Ali's grandfather's garden
D. A deer

How did Lidl describe the ruching on a bikini from her 'collection'?
A. Simplistic
B. Sympathetic
C. Synthetic
D. Gold dust

What is Lidl not comfortable with?
A. Loose clothing
B. Feathered hats
C. Nipple tassels
D. Ruffled bikinis

What did Lidl wear to the Bertoli by Thyme summer soiree table linen launch?
A. One star Amazon dress
B. Polyester Karen Millen dress
C. Sweaty dirty Erdem dress
D. Tablecloth

What habit has Lidl adopted lately?
A. Swallowing mid sentence
B. Speaking slowly and over enunciating like Rosie the Londoner
C. Walking on tippy toes
D. Hanging out of the Velux window taking pics of the sunrise

What was Lidl complaining about?
A. Cities
B. The cost of filling up the RR with petrol
C. British Airways
D. Ali fangirling
E. Squitty doggy bottoms

Which veg featured this week (do not have to be from kitchen garden!)?
A. Chili Peppers
B. Mange tout
C. Carrots
D. Onions


In other news
Amelia has bought a black Hermès Kelly 25
Grossie was #gifted an Anya Hindmarsh gardening tote and is working with Rodial
Ali met David Beckham...again

Photo courtesy of our @Peppypoopar

 

[WatchReelCopyReel]

Omg @Miscanthus this is pure gold. Also, there are so many correct questions to the quiz that either I will fail completely or pass with flying colors!

 

[Lola Faith]

So she's got tons of free Calzedonia bikinis, all her other swimsuits and bikinis from last year etc and she wears a mis-match outfit to 'swim' in the pool at Thyme. Khaki PE knickers from someone's school bag and the top of her white bikini she wore in Ibiza. What a twit!

I liked Josie strolling straight past her while she was vlogging!

 

[Milking Keynes]

Congratulations to @Catcher_In_The_Lie for the brilliant thread title with 33 votes

In a stiff competition the winner of the Weak Wrist of the Week Award goes to..... Ali.
His wrist was well and truly slapped out of his boxer shorts by his wife when he was fangirling Splainer in the dark, robbing him of a happy ending. Get well soon Ali! And commiserations...

This recap was written on a blustery afternoon, just sayin! Yup, another quiz, sorry! (Less typing...)

What upset Lidl so much she couldn't vlog for two nights?
A. Bullying a pregnant hairdresser
B. Seeing a woman collapse at The Ascot
C. Travelling to Azerbaijan for the night
D. Going to a concert at the O2

What feature does Lidl like to draw attention to?
A. Her trotters
B. Her wonky boobs
C. Her thigh gap
D. Her cankles

Lidl visited her grandmother...the one who took her in when she was "homeless".... What gift did she take with her?
A. An orange blossom cake
B. A home grown ( in Daylesford ) lemon
C. A jar of home made chutney
D. A bouquet of holey lettuce leaves from the kitchen garden

Lidl told viewers to be "conscious" that a dress she bought in every colour was...
A. Greasy
B. Creasy
C. Classy
D. Crass

What does Lidl have in her English village garden "boarders"?
A. Hollyhock
B. Slugs
C. Foxgloves
D. A gardener

Lidl describes herself as..
A. Endearing
B. Enduring
C. Desperate
D. Amazing

What water sport has Lidl been doing this week?
A. Vertical swimming
B. Synchronised swimming
C. Water boarding
D. Washing "really well"

Who was Lidl twinning with this week?
A. Naked PR man Chris
B. Ali
C. Fairmont hotels PR Nick
D. Grossie

What "didn't have what it takes to thrive in this fast paced environment"
A. Her fashun sense
B. Grossie
C. A fern
D. Her authenticity

What did 'model' Lidl describe as "her runway"?
A. The airport
B. The M1
C. Her private lane
D. Her garden

What was Lidl sad about?
A. She forgot to leave instructions for watering the Greedhouse
B. Her failing career
C. Ali's grandfather's garden
D. A deer

How did Lidl describe the ruching on a bikini from her 'collection'?
A. Simplistic
B. Sympathetic
C. Synthetic
D. Gold dust

What is Lidl not comfortable with?
A. Loose clothing
B. Feathered hats
C. Nipple tassels
D. Ruffled bikinis

What did Lidl wear to the Bertoli by Thyme summer soiree table linen launch?
A. One star Amazon dress
B. Polyester Karen Millen dress
C. Sweaty dirty Erdem dress
D. Tablecloth

What habit has Lidl adopted lately?
A. Swallowing mid sentence
B. Speaking slowly and over enunciating like Rosie the Londoner
C. Walking on tippy toes
D. Hanging out of the Velux window taking pics of the sunrise

What was Lidl complaining about?
A. Cities
B. The cost of filling up the RR with petrol
C. British Airways
D. Ali fangirling
E. Squitty doggy bottoms

Which veg featured this week (do not have to be from kitchen garden!)?
A. Chili Peppers
B. Mange tout
C. Carrots
D. Onions


In other news
Amelia has bought a black Hermès Kelly 25
Grossie was #gifted an Anya Hindmarsh gardening tote and is working with Rodial
Ali met David Beckham...again

Photo courtesy of our @Peppypoopar

View attachment 1374204View attachment 1374206

Brilliant! Thank you for our shiny new thread - left hand typing and no typos - watch and learn Elsie of the Ice Team Ficks. And yes - re quiz answer 5 d) we learned tonight that the gardener’s name is Becky. The Good Samaritan of The Ascot brought her a cup of tea.

 

[happyforest]

All hail @Miscanthus!!

What an absolute legend you are. Maimed and still able to produce quality content in a very timely fashion. May the Lords of sympathetic kitchen gardens bless you with bountiful healing medicinal tinctures so that you may flap your wrists happily very soon.

The quiz is too good. So many right answers! Look at you stimulating our medulla oblongatas. I am dizzy with adrenaline from finding so many correct answers. Thank the Goddesses for our surgical thigh gap seeking lady of large labias, the unsympathetic and dreary Lydia Millen. She who seeks to steal the thunder from even those that fall to the ground around her. This useless creature does one thing right, bringing ever more Tattle content for all of us to snicker and bond over.

Blessed be this thread.

 

[Bbblane28]

Incredible recap @Miscanthus

I’m dead at vertical swimming

 

[Oops...]

This is evidence of true greatness! Even though she was PLAGUED with kind donations of bone-crunching men she still got her copy out on time with one wrist (the broken one) tied behind her back ! I mean what more is there to say?

We are standing on the shoulder of a giant, so we are…

Thank you Captain! AGAIN you have excelled yourself.

 

[Louise84]

Incredible recap @Miscanthus

I’m dead at vertical swimming

Embarrassing confession - I swim like Lydia - I cannot stand to get my face in the water

 

[Peppypoopar]

Congratulations to @Catcher_In_The_Lie for the brilliant thread title with 33 votes

In a stiff competition the winner of the Weak Wrist of the Week Award goes to..... Ali.
His wrist was well and truly slapped out of his boxer shorts by his wife when he was fangirling Splainer in the dark, robbing him of a happy ending. Get well soon Ali! And commiserations...

This recap was written on a blustery afternoon, just sayin! Yup, another quiz, sorry! (Less typing...)

What upset Lidl so much she couldn't vlog for two nights?
A. Bullying a pregnant hairdresser
B. Seeing a woman collapse at The Ascot
C. Travelling to Azerbaijan for the night
D. Going to a concert at the O2

What feature does Lidl like to draw attention to?
A. Her trotters
B. Her wonky boobs
C. Her thigh gap
D. Her cankles

Lidl visited her grandmother...the one who took her in when she was "homeless".... What gift did she take with her?
A. An orange blossom cake
B. A home grown ( in Daylesford ) lemon
C. A jar of home made chutney
D. A bouquet of holey lettuce leaves from the kitchen garden

Lidl told viewers to be "conscious" that a dress she bought in every colour was...
A. Greasy
B. Creasy
C. Classy
D. Crass

What does Lidl have in her English village garden "boarders"?
A. Hollyhock
B. Slugs
C. Foxgloves
D. A gardener

Lidl describes herself as..
A. Endearing
B. Enduring
C. Desperate
D. Amazing

What water sport has Lidl been doing this week?
A. Vertical swimming
B. Synchronised swimming
C. Water boarding
D. Washing "really well"

Who was Lidl twinning with this week?
A. Naked PR man Chris
B. Ali
C. Fairmont hotels PR Nick
D. Grossie

What "didn't have what it takes to thrive in this fast paced environment"
A. Her fashun sense
B. Grossie
C. A fern
D. Her authenticity

What did 'model' Lidl describe as "her runway"?
A. The airport
B. The M1
C. Her private lane
D. Her garden

What was Lidl sad about?
A. She forgot to leave instructions for watering the Greedhouse
B. Her failing career
C. Ali's grandfather's garden
D. A deer

How did Lidl describe the ruching on a bikini from her 'collection'?
A. Simplistic
B. Sympathetic
C. Synthetic
D. Gold dust

What is Lidl not comfortable with?
A. Loose clothing
B. Feathered hats
C. Nipple tassels
D. Ruffled bikinis

What did Lidl wear to the Bertoli by Thyme summer soiree table linen launch?
A. One star Amazon dress
B. Polyester Karen Millen dress
C. Sweaty dirty Erdem dress
D. Tablecloth

What habit has Lidl adopted lately?
A. Swallowing mid sentence
B. Speaking slowly and over enunciating like Rosie the Londoner
C. Walking on tippy toes
D. Hanging out of the Velux window taking pics of the sunrise

What was Lidl complaining about?
A. Cities
B. The cost of filling up the RR with petrol
C. British Airways
D. Ali fangirling
E. Squitty doggy bottoms

Which veg featured this week (do not have to be from kitchen garden!)?
A. Chili Peppers
B. Mange tout
C. Carrots
D. Onions


In other news
Amelia has bought a black Hermès Kelly 25
Grossie was #gifted an Anya Hindmarsh gardening tote and is working with Rodial
Ali met David Beckham...again

Photo courtesy of our @Peppypoopar

View attachment 1374204View attachment 1374206

I am truly honoured my bearded Lydiot (otherwise known as Aldi's beard) was used in your recap @Miscanthus

 

[Sofatsolazy1]

I had the best laugh watching Lidl try to hand pollinate a lemon fruit

 

[uhhuhyeahok]

I had the best laugh watching Lidl try to hand pollinate a lemon fruit

That gave me a good laugh too, it's like Josie did it, so I have to as well to prove I'm just as good a gardener as her!

 

[Miscanthus]

Incredible recap @Miscanthus

I’m dead at vertical swimming

We have our darling @Oops... to thank for that one

 

[Oops...]

I had the best laugh watching Lidl try to hand pollinate a lemon fruit

Who knows WHY Ali bothers with bees…

 

[Miscanthus]

I am truly honoured my bearded Lydiot (otherwise known as Aldi's beard) was used in your recap @Miscanthus

You are the best @Peppypoopar

 

[WatchReelCopyReel]

That nasty salad is back. It honestly looks like it tastes like bugs and nothing else. Would it hurt to add a tomato and cucumber and maybe subtract a half pound of mozzarella. Also why does she need a gardener for that 15 sq foot plot? I wonder if the gardening is flogged because it’s also not very good. I suppose that’s the quality you get when you pay in exposure rather than pounds.

Lydia planting those gourds in a spot on the property that has zero natural light made my day. Then scan to 11:26 and what is that accent? I did Lydia drop the posh fakery? “Lit’l” and “people put may (me) off of it” escaped.

And Lydia babes I know your neighbor is so grateful that you “allowed” him to finish his lawn mowing. So magnanimous.

 

[Miscanthus]

Embarrassing confession - I swim like Lydia - I cannot stand to get my face in the water

I must admit if I'm in the gym pool I have my head sticking out (Not as far as Lidl though) to keep my hair dry. On holiday...nah!

All hail @Miscanthus!!

What an absolute legend you are. Maimed and still able to produce quality content in a very timely fashion. May the Lords of sympathetic kitchen gardens bless you with bountiful healing medicinal tinctures so that you may flap your wrists happily very soon.

The quiz is too good. So many right answers! Look at you stimulating our medulla oblongatas. I am dizzy with adrenaline from finding so many correct answers. Thank the Goddesses for our surgical thigh gap seeking lady of large labias, the unsympathetic and dreary Lydia Millen. She who seeks to steal the thunder from even those that fall to the ground around her. This useless creature does one thing right, bringing ever more Tattle content for all of us to snicker and bond over.

Blessed be this thread.

I bow to your wordsmithery dear @happyforest
I am a mere pedestrian

 

[Jojoanne1]

Chopping up her lettuce on the butchers block where Lumis arse has been sitting?!? Why?? No hygiene whatsoever

 

[Oops...]

I am awaiting further reports on dear Muffin.
I know our @Hunevoque2 will be ABSOLUTELY besides herself.
Sending every positive atom possible for the best outcome dear one!
Huge hugs…


No - even huger than that…

 

[Pulltheotherone]

The vertical swimming is literally the funniest tattle post for a very long while.
Its been bugging me who she reminds me of then it came to me.
The original Coastal Grandmother !

 

[Sofie]

Fantastic re-cap (again) @Miscanthus

In the flog this evening she shouts to Aldi "Babe, do you want some cake?" he says "Yeah" and so she carries on eating hers