Right here we go
The little fella Sam WON IACGMOOH and they all found out at a big party thrown by Zara, where Leo was able to stay up until the result and amuse himself by bumbling around the coffee table while everyone made merry. At the point where the winner was announced, everyone punched the air screaming and Louise, the ever doting mum that she is, scooped him up in a split second to give him a cuddle. LOL! Neither parent glanced in his direction as the poor lad was startled like a gelding on guy fawke’s until Steve the accountant rushed to his aid. Louise made sure to say her dad was super proud of both his children but possibly he was just proud of Lou for keeping her trap shut about trauma for the one evening. Or possibly it was too loud to hear her. Either way, Good job Lou.
As we have since been told, Loopy really struggles with the festive season, but as she’s a big brave dog, we had no idea of this in the run up to the big day. In fact, she seemed to bloody revel in it, accepting Space NK deliveries from Father Christmas, and wrapping exciting advent calendar presents for leo and Ryan. These delights included a gilet and a bobble hat and some sort of kitchen utensil for the budding kitchen star Brian. She kept this up until the 12th December when she got bored, or maybe ran out of hiding places- the last ones were hidden under the pissy dog bed.
Ryan went to Belgium to eat sushi, dress like an insurance salesman and pretend he wanted to drive a Kia.
Christmas day dawned and Louise had a face like a slapped arse because of her struggles. We don’t really know what they are except perhaps she doesn’t understand a day where other people get gifted things and she can’t get away with lobbing boxes of candles open without a care and no one wants to hear her harp on about being nearly dead.
THEN the real work started as Leo’s nursery shut for Christmas and they had to ‘cope’ with a two year old in a big fuck off house in near-central London eating only local produce SPARE A THOUGHT it’s like being a peasant in the French Revolution, times were TOUGH. They inexplicably got a boat for two hours to travel to Greenwich for Disney on ice and Louise didn’t even change out of her pjs for it. But! ONE DAY MORE
(les mid crescendo) Leo went back to nursery this week so they can get back to the grind. There were emotional scenes, they miss his 24/7 mannerisms, apparently.
Ryan cremated a chicken in cow juice and they’re off to France and Antigua within the week. Louise’s NY res is to finally find someone to tell her there is something horribly wrong with her beyond her inherent self absorption and crap ability to parent.
Ryan’s beanie hat stinks because he’s been wearing it since November and he’s just generally disgusting. Louise has been breadcrumbing that he might be controlling as he wanted her to shave her legs but she did her foundation instead.
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to boost her engagement on most of her posts.
themselves with UC to the point they can’t care for their gorgeous toddler or sleep with their partner do NOT go skiing on a remote mountain through the day in a face full of make up and eat junk food and delicious, creamy carbonara. They eat a low residue, bland and more often “professionally advised” diet from a dietician to relieve the horrendous symptoms. Christ she thinks the whole world know nothing. Either she’s faking the food part (which proves she’s a lying little turd) or faking the illness….so either way she’s a liar!!!
