“My skins looking pretty good isnnit”
We don’t know love, we can’t see beyond the skin smoothing, imperfection blurring, white torture light filter
In case anyone wondered, I’m cooking with wine - no burnt chicken salads here just acid hot tongues
I posted that photo from another device but I’ve just looked at it from a larger screen and“My skins looking pretty good isnnit”
We don’t know love, we can’t see beyond the skin smoothing, imperfection blurring, white torture light filter
In case anyone wondered, I’m cooking with wine - no burnt chicken salads here just acid hot tongues
- note to self; must get glasses ...
!!Don’t forget her fillers , lips and eyebrow will need doing oh the OAP’s Botox and Grecian 2000.. they’ll need another exciting announcement@PurplePhoenix97 has been letting it all build up and... release
This is your safe space from now on. I get triggered daily and I should stop looking but I cant. I’m bizarrely fascinated by the narcissism.
So a Rodial box and a summer ITS collection. That’ll keep her in leather shoes and bags.
What is your routine LL youve just been slapping on anything your getting paid to promote .. routine seems to change daily imo !“My skins looking pretty good isnnit”
We don’t know love, we can’t see beyond the skin smoothing, imperfection blurring, white torture light filter
In case anyone wondered, I’m cooking with wine - no burnt chicken salads here just acid hot tongues
Mine or hers?Don’t forget her fillers , lips and eyebrow will need doing oh the OAP’s Botox and Grecian 2000.. they’ll need another exciting announcement
What is your routine LL youve just been slapping on anything your getting paid to promote .. routine seems to change daily imo !
They probably nick them from their fancy <gifted> hotels. That’s what luxe folk do you know!
theyd have to go on holiday to feasibly own them
You’ve seen the state of her flannels .. god knows what the towels look like
. The hotels probably ‘gift’ them !! Saves On the bleaching And boiling !
@LadyLockdown don't be teasing us.
11:59 am: Wake up, stretch and roll over to vacant corpse like husband bed space. Smile to self that he may have fallen downstairs and sustained critical, life threatening injuries and start planning how to spend insurance.
Suddenly all my Murder She Wrote training kicks in and I wonder; he may not have fallen and could have been on his way to clean mirrors / make breakfast / start work / check spreadsheet for available LUXE “exciting giveaway” funds / eat my tit ...
DO WE EVEN HAVE STAIRS ??? Who knows
12:01: pretend to shower and put on robe
12:02: switch on Instagram and pick heaviest available / on market filter (if new filter available, quickly purchase on someone else’s cc, definitely not mine, and download) and find best light to gaze at oneself practicing gammy toothed smile and “Iiiiyaaaa” without gammy teeth on show
12:05: Once I’ve successfully completed gammy toothed smile (not on show) practiced yawning, tugging dirty robe astride tiger tanned / dirty tits and shoulders and stretching in front of filter to demonstrate just how tired i am from doing nothing or because of *delete as applicable (for what you think is relatable) *inoffensive murder mystery / love story / thinking of ways to kill my aging husband drama series I may have watched last night I switch on Instagram camera and start to film
12:07: Repeat yawn, stretch and iterate as above *not to include ways to kill husband (that’s for another channel) or should I say Chanel ....
13:00: Start quick 2 hour “skin care” routine of whichever dim witted brand has agreed to sponsor my heavily filtered / edited routine in the hope of a few more followers (on both sides) in order to line previously aforementioned pockets
14:27: Filter out any filters used (bought quickly or previously owned) on filtered “skincare” video and post filtered video to Instagram with blurb and captions about how frickin wonderful skincare is and how much of a difference it’s made. I love blurghhhh technology. Lie so much even friends and family buy it even though I look like a piece of Edam cheese in real life.
14:30:Spend time taking face clutching photos of self in varying lights whilst holding skin so taut I look more like Jackie Stallone than Jackie Stallone. WIN?
Also throw on various acrylic items, and take a selection of Dale Winton (RIP) coloured, rickets knee’d poised / chesticle photos for “da grid”. *to be posted later followed by mood boards of brands with varying degrees of success to broaden my (non-existant) relatability and at time that hits the best engagement ...
15:00: Pretend to look for husband. Secretly hope he’s died and left it all to me so I can buy quadruple my body weight in make up, handbags and whispering angel
15:04: Sadly find husband alive in kitchen making lunch for us (late lunch because that’s when I demand it) with an expensive gift on the side from him to me (which I’ll unbox when I can be bothered and have Instagram and appropriate filters set up) AND a promotional gift delivery from idiot brand (which I’ll pick what I want from and then selflessly giveaway the rest in a SUPER SECRET GIVEAWAY ** where you have to tag 9000 of your friends who aren’t already following me ** because I’m so thoughtful and cos it helps to dilute the robots). Also like to add it annoys me to receive orders I haven’t made as I decided to give the postman a break especially on a BANK holiday .. I don’t want my husband to answer the door on his day off, unless I told him to!
16:00: Picked over lunch. It was all my favorites but when you have to eat with someone you hate. It makes you thirsty so instead I drank 17 glasses of whispering angel. I quite like my husband now. And me.
Is it too early to start watching murder mysteries? Can I drink whispering angel through my eyeball? Is it tomorrow yet? Can I start over and pretend my life is picture perfect?
**** Obviously this is only my Sunday and I am an hour ahead of the UK so it may be different for others
Has anyone else noticed that her husband is nowhere to be found lately? She posts that shot over and over. She also posted the glass clink photo today that she posted weeks ago, claiming they were out in the garden again. There has been no sign of him working on her dressing room and no new photos taken in the salon with their tanner stained sofas. Why isn’t she shooting beauty and cleansing tutorials from her bathroom like she used to do? Has she moved out? Has he? Where is her dog?
You have to do that when they are communal, Like Germans on holiday. The OAP probably runs down first thing to throw on the towels and secure them a good lounger for the day!
I find that strange too, not even one of those creepy photos of them both in bathrobes in bed and him peeping over her shoulder.
I think the bedroom make over was just a lick of free paint from the home company she used to work for years back. I don't think we have ever seen her bathroom?
We’ve never seen the bathroom in the flat ! She’s only ever washed her face with a filthy flannel and a bowl of water on the floor of her Dressing room .. All her bathroom pics are when she’s staying in Luxe hotels .
she’s still there in the dressing room , he’s still there otherwise she’d be dead as she doesn’t seem capable of looking after herself , let alone have any inclination of doing it !The shirt white ones stained round the ages with fake tan !! NiceCrying @LadyLockdown
“tiger tanned / dirty tits“
It was fairly early on in lockdown that we last had an ACTUAL visual of the OAP. We did start considering a #wheresMrLuxe hashtag at one point I’m sure.
That pic she posted today drinking the WA was an old one as she had the hideous clacker nails on, not the short white ones she’s copied from Mrs Maria Rodial.
We’ve never seen the bathroom in the flat ! She’s only ever washed her face with a filthy flannel and a bowl of water on the floor of her Dressing room .. All her bathroom pics are when she’s staying in Luxe hotels .
This. She burns salad...
Still no reply to the ‘blocked Ladies’ wonder if they are ‘Tattlers’I think the bedroom make over was just a lick of free paint from the home company she used to work for years back. I don't think we have ever seen her bathroom?
Mr Luxe is definitely around just not looking Luxe enough even for photoshop and filters. Pissed up old man whose job is probably on the line and doesn't want to pamper to her childish ways. Wouldn't surprise me if they have had some massive arguments and not talking, she's just lying to the camera again for the Luxe effect.
Girls I think she has blocked you, get the message, welcome to the club
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Terri towelling that is such good quality eh? ITS replied for PR then ignored the poor girl.
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and I thought LL replied to everything .. 
