RaspberryCheesecake here, reporting live yesterday last week tomorrow next week whenever from Horsham Heights The Lanesborough Hotel Scotts Chanel Bond Street wherever.
Thank you to @Ohmydays for the fabulous thread title!
April started off relatively quietly with Yawna pretending to be Audrey Hepburn and taking the dog for a drive in the car, to celebrate the fact that the dog has been her best friend for years. The Hepburn-esque charade was followed by a hair mask, which looked rather like John had become overexcited about something (don't worry John; these things can happen when you get older). She then announced that they had commissioned a piece of artwork for the bare wall in the museum room. Almost four weeks have passed and we're all still waiting with bated breath. Please cast your votes in the poll above if you think you know what it might be.
Running low on things to post about one day, Lorna dug out a picture of herself which she had only posted a couple of weeks previously, except she photoshopped a different nail colour to make it look like a new photo. However, things were about to get exciting, as she had a new collection to launch on In The Style, most of which consisted of flouncy, florally, powder blue dresses and blouses. She and John went and did a little day-trip to London so that she could make the clothing look better by standing next to some white-washed Georgian houses in Notting Hill. Upon deciding that the pretty Georgian houses were adding no value at all to her range, she headed into the Mayfair area of London and got John to take some photos of her posing in front of a DHL van. Much better. Totally added a real sense of class. One lady bought the powder blue smock dress thing (possibly inspired by the DHL van), and was horrified to discover the hem was plastic, and the stripes in the fabric were crooked, and there were loose threads everywhere, and it was entirely transparent. She was even more disappointed when she did an honest review on her Insta page and subsequently got blocked from seeing Yawna's stories. Yawna, meanwhile, took the nice lady's money and went to Chanel and treated herself to Some More Stuff That She Doesn't Already Have.
Ewe know what happened next? John pulled the wool over her eyes and surprised her with a sheepish gift. We all flocked to the museum room (virtually, obvs.) to see what it was, and were thrilled to see that John had been fleeced of a few hundred (thousand?) pounds for a life-sized sheep. (Sorry, I'll stop with the puns). The first thing Yawna did was take a picture of herself straddling it. It was a seriously baaaaa-d image (sorry).
On the 16th of April, Yawna had a meeting in London. That's because she's Very Important, and Very Busy, and has lots of Important Meetings and Stuff. John "pulled a blinder" and booked them into a 5-star hotel "for the night". What that sentence actually meant was "We have been given a two-week free stay at the Lanesborough Hotel even though hotels aren't legally allowed to be open yet unless you are homeless but I am a Very Important and Famous Influencer and I can do what I like and how else am I suppposed to take pretty photos of myself and what do you mean I have a dog to look after? What dog?"
Having posted a photo of herself lounging in a Lanesborough Hotel bathrobe and asking the Fawnas if they'd like a grand tour, she hurriedly took the photo down less than half an hour later. Must be that guilty conscience she has. Whilst in London, she was lucky enough to get a hair appointment for a "colour, cut and blowdry", although she's not actually shown us the new haircut/colour yet, because in all the photos we've seen of her, she is still clipping in the rats tails. She also had an appointment (sorry, a 'meeting') at Phillip Kingsley, who must have been thrilled with her new virgin rats. On the day of her purported hair appointment, she lunched with Bonnie Bint (OMR tagged along, saddo that he is, obvs.), and Bonnie derived great pleasure in filming her best friend looking very uncomfortable in front of the unfiltered lens. We salute you, Bonnie.
Cecconis, meanwhile, appears to have been given the old heave-ho in favour of Scotts. There has been a lot of shopping in London, and Very Important Meetings, and more shopping, and drinking wine, and Very Important Photo Shoots -- but, thank the Lord for small mercies, Yawna managed to find time in her busy schedule to sit in front of a terracotta-coloured wall and do a 24-minute skincare and makeup tutorial. The less said about that the better. It's here for anyone who really wants to see it.
April can be a bit of a quiet month, so we all got VIP invitations to John and Yawna's Special Time Travel Machine, which yanked us from here to there to London to Horsham, last week, next week, and yesterday. A fun time was had by all, especially when @Its_Me found the Luxemobile parked outside the Lanesborough on an evening that the L4 IARS were pretending to be in Horsham with Boo and Belle.
I'll sign off now and let the TITS take it from here, but let's not forget all the new words we've learned:
Synch -- To be in time with something and to make two things operate simultaneously, OR to filter your waist so it looks smaller
Rutch -- To move with a crunching or shuffling noise (Merriam Webster dictionary) OR the decorative frills and pleats on fabric
Broiderie -- (bear with me, I'm still trying to find a definition for this...)
Thank you to @Ohmydays for the fabulous thread title!
April started off relatively quietly with Yawna pretending to be Audrey Hepburn and taking the dog for a drive in the car, to celebrate the fact that the dog has been her best friend for years. The Hepburn-esque charade was followed by a hair mask, which looked rather like John had become overexcited about something (don't worry John; these things can happen when you get older). She then announced that they had commissioned a piece of artwork for the bare wall in the museum room. Almost four weeks have passed and we're all still waiting with bated breath. Please cast your votes in the poll above if you think you know what it might be.
Running low on things to post about one day, Lorna dug out a picture of herself which she had only posted a couple of weeks previously, except she photoshopped a different nail colour to make it look like a new photo. However, things were about to get exciting, as she had a new collection to launch on In The Style, most of which consisted of flouncy, florally, powder blue dresses and blouses. She and John went and did a little day-trip to London so that she could make the clothing look better by standing next to some white-washed Georgian houses in Notting Hill. Upon deciding that the pretty Georgian houses were adding no value at all to her range, she headed into the Mayfair area of London and got John to take some photos of her posing in front of a DHL van. Much better. Totally added a real sense of class. One lady bought the powder blue smock dress thing (possibly inspired by the DHL van), and was horrified to discover the hem was plastic, and the stripes in the fabric were crooked, and there were loose threads everywhere, and it was entirely transparent. She was even more disappointed when she did an honest review on her Insta page and subsequently got blocked from seeing Yawna's stories. Yawna, meanwhile, took the nice lady's money and went to Chanel and treated herself to Some More Stuff That She Doesn't Already Have.
Ewe know what happened next? John pulled the wool over her eyes and surprised her with a sheepish gift. We all flocked to the museum room (virtually, obvs.) to see what it was, and were thrilled to see that John had been fleeced of a few hundred (thousand?) pounds for a life-sized sheep. (Sorry, I'll stop with the puns). The first thing Yawna did was take a picture of herself straddling it. It was a seriously baaaaa-d image (sorry).
On the 16th of April, Yawna had a meeting in London. That's because she's Very Important, and Very Busy, and has lots of Important Meetings and Stuff. John "pulled a blinder" and booked them into a 5-star hotel "for the night". What that sentence actually meant was "We have been given a two-week free stay at the Lanesborough Hotel even though hotels aren't legally allowed to be open yet unless you are homeless but I am a Very Important and Famous Influencer and I can do what I like and how else am I suppposed to take pretty photos of myself and what do you mean I have a dog to look after? What dog?"
Having posted a photo of herself lounging in a Lanesborough Hotel bathrobe and asking the Fawnas if they'd like a grand tour, she hurriedly took the photo down less than half an hour later. Must be that guilty conscience she has. Whilst in London, she was lucky enough to get a hair appointment for a "colour, cut and blowdry", although she's not actually shown us the new haircut/colour yet, because in all the photos we've seen of her, she is still clipping in the rats tails. She also had an appointment (sorry, a 'meeting') at Phillip Kingsley, who must have been thrilled with her new virgin rats. On the day of her purported hair appointment, she lunched with Bonnie Bint (OMR tagged along, saddo that he is, obvs.), and Bonnie derived great pleasure in filming her best friend looking very uncomfortable in front of the unfiltered lens. We salute you, Bonnie.
Cecconis, meanwhile, appears to have been given the old heave-ho in favour of Scotts. There has been a lot of shopping in London, and Very Important Meetings, and more shopping, and drinking wine, and Very Important Photo Shoots -- but, thank the Lord for small mercies, Yawna managed to find time in her busy schedule to sit in front of a terracotta-coloured wall and do a 24-minute skincare and makeup tutorial. The less said about that the better. It's here for anyone who really wants to see it.
April can be a bit of a quiet month, so we all got VIP invitations to John and Yawna's Special Time Travel Machine, which yanked us from here to there to London to Horsham, last week, next week, and yesterday. A fun time was had by all, especially when @Its_Me found the Luxemobile parked outside the Lanesborough on an evening that the L4 IARS were pretending to be in Horsham with Boo and Belle.
I'll sign off now and let the TITS take it from here, but let's not forget all the new words we've learned:
Synch -- To be in time with something and to make two things operate simultaneously, OR to filter your waist so it looks smaller
Rutch -- To move with a crunching or shuffling noise (Merriam Webster dictionary) OR the decorative frills and pleats on fabric
Broiderie -- (bear with me, I'm still trying to find a definition for this...)
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& excellent very succinct thread title from 
