Lockdown has changed my relationship

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Shesaidwhat?

Shesaidwhat?

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TJ90 said:
Ah I’m so happy you have come to a decision that’s right for you. Divorce is hard, but you know what’s harder. Being married to someone you end up resenting after years of being unhappy. Wishing you all the happiness for the future and well done for being brave because it’s not an easy decision to make.
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Thank you ❤
 
Kim Mild

Kim Mild

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Bumblebee said:
That’s so nice to hear. Sounds like you made the right decision.
I’m hoping that the easing of lockdown will help our relationship. We’ve been married for 23 years this year. Together for 26. But lockdown has changed the way I feel about him.
move continued to work two jobs throughout and he was furloughed at one point and then back-part time and still part time now. He moaned about being furloughed and I suggested he got an additional job and said think of the money. The supermarket I work at had plenty of jobs going but he didn’t even apply. Then my other job was looking for people to come in and do a bit of diy and again he refused.
he just has no get up and go. He expects things tk be handed to him. We had discussions about what he would do if his job never got back to full time as once furlough payments end he’ll be on part time wages for however many hours he works.
I work full time Monday to Friday. Then second job every Saturday and every other Sunday. I suggested today that I ask to work two evenings a week instead so 6-10pm which would mean weekend free and I would not have to start work at 2am and he said he’s used to me working weekends now so why change it? Why change it?? I’m exhausted and feel it ruins our weekends. My children are older now, the youngest just turned 15 and she makes comments about food you’re always working never at home. Well yes that’s right as someone needs to be.
It’s just not how I thought a marriage would be never thought I’d be the one making sure that we had everything we need and making sure we have money for fun stuff. I begrudge buying him things as well as I feel he doesn’t deserve them. I get comments about make up and clothes but I’m working! He has a uniform.
Sorry to derail from your happy news. I guess it’s been weighing on my mind.
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Maybe reduce your hours anyway, if it's feasible Restrictions are easing , you can get some social time .
 
Shesaidwhat?

Shesaidwhat?

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TJ90 said:
I thought it was me that had written that first sentence when I read it!
It’s hard being with someone so much in lockdown. Everyone is feeling different things at different times. Hopefully there’s light at the end of the tunnel now and you might feel differently once you start seeing others again and not being in each other’s pockets every minute of every day
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I hope this is the case, it’s hard because my friends have been telling me how lockdown has brought them and their partners closer so I feel like well why don’t I feel the same? It sounds awful but I’m hoping the festival season can’t start up again so he can go and it’ll maybe kickstart something in me because we’ll be apart for a bit.
 
P

Pixipoppy

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Shesaidwhat? said:
Would he talk to a doctor? Could you go on your own to Bath it might help clear your head some time apart?
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He wouldn’t 😞 He doesn’t even go to the doctor when he is physically ill. I think a lot of men are like that aren’t they! I could go, but although it’s our couple friends I don’t feel right going just by myself - I know it would be fine but I do feel they are my boyfriends mates first (he knew the guy before we met, and then we’ve always been friends as a 4). So if they had to take sides they are his. If that makes sense.