When Lord Nelson was returning to Lady Hamilton after a spell at sea, he would send a message ahead asking her to "prepare the dear little thatched cottage for my return".Also ‘entering her cottage’ sounds like a euphemism to me. In context, more like she showed him the gates of Hell, albeit ‘billiard ball smooth’
Yes it was difficult to understand what she was saying, was she sick, did she shit herself..who knows but it was a rather disturbing read whatever the heck it was about. Highly doubt comments will be allowed though would be awesome if they were.It's also, even for her, appallingly badly written, as (allegedly) nicknaming her sister "The Fountain" strongly suggests a different kind of incontinence. I really, really hope that comments are enabled on this.
Funny, I use "drawers" all the time. And sometimes "bloomers." Far preferable to knickers or pants.Bloody Hell @Origen - how a common turn of phrase turns out to be spookily accurate. Can you give me tonight’s lottery numbers please?
Of all the lows, I have never in my wildest imaginings, thought I’d see LJ confess to the world she’d shat her drawers
Standing next to lavender would make no difference at all unless she was crushing the stems to release the fragrance. Which she undoubtedly wasn't.In the podcast she claims she wiped it with a napkin and left it there for someone else to clean. So apparently the FRS didn't see or smell that, yet she still lingered by the lavender on the way home
I'd say it was the admission/claim of shitting they were surprised by, rather than the use of the term "drawers"!Funny, I use "drawers" all the time. And sometimes "bloomers." Far preferable to knickers or pants.
That and the fact the FRS doesn't exist. I suppose she thinks it's edgy and "real" - like the ghastly scene she references in BridesmaidsI'd say it was the admission/claim of shitting they were surprised by, rather than the use of the term "drawers"!
I feel like she's lying about this tbh. Surely even Liz wouldn't publicly shit herself and immediately think Charlotte from SATC? No, this is another crudely drawn character from one of her terrible books nobody would agree to publish, the scenario borrowed to spice up her account of what is actually a celibate, dog-pissy life.
Yes, I understand that "drawers" was just an incidental word. I'm not Missing The Point. But you don't hear often that word, though, hence my comment.I'd say it was the admission/claim of shitting they were surprised by, rather than the use of the term "drawers"!
I feel like she's lying about this tbh. Surely even Liz wouldn't publicly shit herself and immediately think Charlotte from SATC? No, this is another crudely drawn character from one of her terrible books nobody would agree to publish, the scenario borrowed to spice up her account of what is actually a celibate, dog-pissy life.
I work in a bookies in a town populated by junkies and alkies and trust me, when one lets go a load, you can smell it, even on the other side of the bandit screen. I call, er, bullshit.In the podcast she claims she wiped it with a napkin and left it there for someone else to clean. So apparently the FRS didn't see or smell that, yet she still lingered by the lavender on the way home
WTF is her editor doing?She’s actually written a whole column about shitting herself? This has to be the absolute bottom of the barrel, surely. Dear god.
Don't forget the navy school knickers she wore for the phone sex"Drawers" suggests huge control pants or frilly pantaloons, which Liz would never wear; only the Myla Thong graces her extreme wax
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