"How do I make smashing up my house not messy and dusty??"
We are having a load of stuff done later this year, and we have a little one a similar age to Grey.
We are lucky enough to have lovely family nearby so we are moving out for the worst of it (just a week or two) and then I will go and do a deep clean before we move back in, it's not complicated!
I will also plan to be out of the house somewhere basically all day every day with my toddler for the whole time they are working on our house because no one needs a toddler on a building site.