Lily Allen #2

[Shawads]

I reread it last weekend and totally get where you’re coming from. I maybe see it from a different perspective though, especially reading it the second time as I’m in a whole new headspace now to the first time I read it. I think her own upbringing was pretty messed up and generational trauma was at play. Also, just trauma in general, jeez, I can’t imagine experiencing some of the things she did.

I had pretty severe PND and the transition into motherhood wasn’t easy for me so maybe that’s why I’m more empathetic towards her struggles. I actually found it quite brave that she spoke out about the struggles she faced as it’s a very real thing that some women experience. The reality is that unresolved trauma can (but not always) cause some really messed up behaviour. Sometimes when you’ve got everything you thought you ever wanted and the reality is very different it can send you off the rails. People such as myself who weren’t parented particularly well and suffer from mental health issues sometimes struggle to adjust and have to learn on the job (we don’t always get it right straight away). Her children were never in harms way and seem to have been well protected from her turbulence by Sam, that’s not me saying they won’t have experienced trauma themselves through Lillie’s actions but I guess what I mean is I don’t view her and some kind of neglectful or abusive monster. Just a woman who had demons and was maladapted to parenthood.

She’s sober now and has had therapy so not sure it’s fair to say she didn’t a great mum in present tense as relationships change and evolve (even with your kids). Or maybe she is still working through it, who knows.

I’d quite like her to write another book so I can have an update . I deffo have a soft spot for the girl despite and probably because of the flaws. Not often you read a whole book of someone telling their life including the really messed up parts that most people would take the grave. Makes me feel like less of an alien with the stuff that I’ve experienced in my own life.

Hard relate to all of your post.
So many nuances and grey areas to mental health and childhood trauma. The huge hormonal disruption of pregnancy, breastfeeding plus sleep issues and a whole host of parenting trigger memories can make for a terrifying time.

 

[GingerSquid]

I reread it last weekend and totally get where you’re coming from. I maybe see it from a different perspective though, especially reading it the second time as I’m in a whole new headspace now to the first time I read it. I think her own upbringing was pretty messed up and generational trauma was at play. Also, just trauma in general, jeez, I can’t imagine experiencing some of the things she did.

I had pretty severe PND and the transition into motherhood wasn’t easy for me so maybe that’s why I’m more empathetic towards her struggles. I actually found it quite brave that she spoke out about the struggles she faced as it’s a very real thing that some women experience. The reality is that unresolved trauma can (but not always) cause some really messed up behaviour. Sometimes when you’ve got everything you thought you ever wanted and the reality is very different it can send you off the rails. People such as myself who weren’t parented particularly well and suffer from mental health issues sometimes struggle to adjust and have to learn on the job (we don’t always get it right straight away). Her children were never in harms way and seem to have been well protected from her turbulence by Sam, that’s not me saying they won’t have experienced trauma themselves through Lillie’s actions but I guess what I mean is I don’t view her and some kind of neglectful or abusive monster. Just a woman who had demons and was maladapted to parenthood.

She’s sober now and has had therapy so not sure it’s fair to say she didn’t a great mum in present tense as relationships change and evolve (even with your kids). Or maybe she is still working through it, who knows.

I’d quite like her to write another book so I can have an update . I deffo have a soft spot for the girl despite and probably because of the flaws. Not often you read a whole book of someone telling their life including the really messed up parts that most people would take the grave. Makes me feel like less of an alien with the stuff that I’ve experienced in my own life.

THIS. Plus I don’t think you ever recover from a stillbirth, I can’t even begin to imagine how harrowing that must be for any woman to go through; no amount of money, fame or subsequent children is going to fill that gap and pain; I think she was open about that feeding into her PND … or so I recall … or have maybe heard on a podcast. I’m not a huge fan, but do find her interesting to listen to.

 

[Restless Native]

Didn't someone on here say they saw her snorting ching when she was pregnant

 

[dovelist]

Didn't someone on here say they saw her snorting ching when she was pregnant

I doubt this is true.

Also, if that person said it in relation to her losing her son it would be an incredibly cruel thing to say. She says what happened in her book which I won’t go into as could be triggering but his death was absolutely not drug related. She probably suffered from immense anxiety in her further pregnancies so it’s safe to say it’s very very unlikely she would have been doing that.

 

[Beverley Macker]

I don’t think it’s safe to say that at all. You don’t know her, you only know what she wants you to.

 

[dovelist]

I don’t think it’s safe to say that at all. You don’t know her, you only know what she wants you to.

What I actually said was it’s safe to say it’s highly unlikely she was doing it when pregnant with the girls. Because most women wouldn’t especially having previously experienced stillbirth. Statistically more women don’t do drugs than do in pregnancy so the probability is already pointing towards it not being true. So that plus what happened in her first pregnancy is how I formed my opinion.

Source: being a human female on earth.

 

[Beverley Macker]

So just guesswork then, like me. Like all posters on here who are human beings on earth.

 

[Venuslurker]

Regarding the most recent podcast, I get that Miquita lived in a council property with her single mum but she seems to dismiss the fact she had access to all these successful and celebrity friends and family members.

 

[GeminiMoon]

Regarding the most recent podcast, I get that Miquita lived in a council property with her single mum but she seems to dismiss the fact she had access to all these successful and celebrity friends and family members.

Yeah and she said it took her a while to realise how lucky she was/is to be doing a job that she loves. She may not have come from financial privilege but she was certainly privileged.

They all seem to be a lucky bunch - in the right place at the right time. Lily and Miquita’s parents/mother included. The parents sound they were chaotic and a law unto themselves.

 

[dovelist]

So just guesswork then, like me. Like all posters on here who are human beings on earth.

Lol. Going round in circles. Already said it’s an opinion then just provided some context for how I got there.
---
Does anyone think Lily is quite short with Miquita sometimes? You could hear how pissed off she was getting when Miquita kept saying she had a weave when she was a teen.

 

[Salted Caramel]

Does anyone think Lily is quite short with Miquita sometimes? You could hear how pissed off she was getting when Miquita kept saying she had a weave when she was a teen.

Yes! I thought that a few podcasts ago when Lily seemed in a a bit of a mood and was a bit snappy... I think it was when she was talking about the patriarchy lol. I thought that Miquita is very patient with her!

 

[Weezaweeza]

I think that too! Miquita sounds like she’s sucking up a bit to Lily in some of the podcast episodes and lily is quite dismissive of her

 

[stevenseagull]

Agree. The dynamic is strange. Miquita gushing over David was odd too.

 

[Essexnic]

They do seem to have a bit of a frenemy dynamic sometimes! I thought it was odd when they were talking about waxing and Miquita kept making comments about Lily not being waxed like " lucky husband" and " very sexy" but Lily was just completely ignoring it.

 

[CoraSP]

I thought similar about how the interact but I think they're just genuinely best mates and have a sort of sisterly relationship and this is just how they interact
Lily does seem quite guarded which, let's face it given her past near constant scrutiny by the media and being stalked etc is probably fair and it does sound like she's getting support on the form of therapy and medication.

 

[Essexnic]

Oh yeah I definitely think that's just how they interact and that they are best friends but there is definitely a frenemy vibe. I guess its always been like this going by Miquita's comment about Lily being jealous when she started Popworld ( on Parenting Hell podcast)

 

[Eurgh]

Does anyone think Lily is quite short with Miquita sometimes? You could hear how pissed off she was getting when Miquita kept saying she had a weave when she was a teen.

I was so shocked when she said she'd managed to 'scrape together £500 for hair extensions at a salon in Kensington' when she was 14!

 

[Peachy9]

I was so shocked when she said she'd managed to 'scrape together £500 for hair extensions at a salon in Kensington' when she was 14!

Haha yep. £500 back then too! Mind you, I imagine there were plenty of rolled notes around her home that she could access

 

[Eurgh]

Haha yep. £500 back then too! Mind you, I imagine there were plenty of rolled notes around her home that she could access

I was scraping together enough for 10 B&H and a Solero at 14! I know she's had a hard life and her parents were awful but I would be embarrassed to admit that if I were so hell-bent on denying my privilege like she is.

 

[dovelist]

Miquita gushing over David was odd too.

Thought of this listening to this weeks listen witch. She’s proper OTT about David. Maybe my mates just have crap husbands because I don’t really have much to say about them.