Learning to drive.

[BettyCrockerr]

For everyone who is having bad experiences with instructors, please report them. If you don’t, they will continue getting away with taking money from learners and providing a sub standard service.
Your instructor shouldn’t be using their mobile phone during your lesson, they shouldn’t be asking you personal questions about anything, they shouldn’t be tutting at you or sighing if you make an error. If you feel you are getting bad service please report them. If they work for a larger company then report them to their employer and file a complaint as above.

Complain about a driving instructor

Complain about an approved driving instructor (ADI) if you're not happy with their service or behaviour

www.gov.uk

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Last lesson before my test this morning and he spent the hour talking none stop about the bdsm programs he’s been watching and porn

He’s just started talking like this over the past few weeks and I don’t understand why.

This is completely unacceptable and is actually boarding on harassment now. Report him to whoever he works for and also the police - it’s really not ok that he’s talking like this to you or anyone he’s teaching to drive.

 

[cedarpeach]

I feel your pain! I am almost 35 and I still can't drive. I feel really ashamed of it, actually. It's the ONE thing I am really frightened of and I worry so much about causing an accident.

My first driving instructor, when I was a teenager, was a nightmare. She would spend the first 15 mins sitting stationary chatting shit about her life, then at the end of the lesson she would park up on my mom's drive and continue yapping on at me while I desperately tried to get out the car. She really got me off to a terrible start the silly bint.

I am determined to pass my test by the end of this year! Good luck to you!

 

[kittypaws]

Had an off day driving today and now my instructor is thinking of postponing my test. I feel ready for my test and don't want to postpone as I know from this thread how long the wait is for new tests. Plus I can't afford to continue doing driving lessons all year.

Got a mock test next week. Feeling despondent

Seriously, it's your decision when you feel ready to take your test. I HIGHLY recommend DGN driving on youtube, he is absolutely fantastic!!! And if you have a spare £30, download his course - it's currently half price. I've downloaded it can honestly, it's fantastic, it will really help you for your test. But even if you don't buy it, his youtube videos are just as good!

 

[Belulah]

I’m back! Lesson went well- few mistakes but nothing terrible. Feel so much better for talking to my instructor!

 

[Thank(space)you]

My heart is already racing thinking about tomorrow's lesson feel like just giving up

 

[Kim Mild]

I’m onto my fourth instructor, sod them if they aren’t right for you. There’s plenty more out there.

I had loads of instructors too, if they annoyed me in any way I found another. I even went back to a previous one cos my new one was worse .

 

[Ashad]

I am so glad I found this thread. I don’t know why I have this fear of learning to drive. I did a few lessons a few years ago and then stopped. I have a toddler now so really need to learn. I booked a theory test to ease myself back in. I get really anxious when I have a lesson. I struggle with how close the car should be to the curb etc... I know it takes practice but it still stresses me out.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

She said she had an off day though so perhaps her instructor feels she needs time to build up the confidence before sitting the test.

@Thank(space)you Ultimately, it's all down to how confident YOU feel. If you feel that today was just a blip then speak to your instructor to explain this and tell them you still want to go ahead. If on the other hand you think you could do with a bit more learning, you're able to do that too. Your instructor should be able to give you reasons why he thinks you should postpone - if he can't give solid reasons then that would be a red flag for me (ie: he just wants to keep you having lessons because to him, lessons = ££).

Book a test and take it. If you pass then fantastic, if you fail then you have the experience of the test under your belt for next time and you’ll be able to identify where the weak areas are to work on for the next test. No worries.

 

[Lollypad]

If it helps, I had my first lesson with a new instructor today - I was really nervous and he put me completely at ease, and was incredibly positive with me - he did suggest I change test centres and we drove to the one he suggested today and I agree it's a nicer area with bigger roads, so I've cancelled my September test and booked one in for December... that I'm hoping with the help of Testi I can creep back a bit!

You can definitely find a better instructor for you, and you deserve someone putting you first and helping you!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I have anxiety anyway but I just find driving terrifying. Sometimes I struggle even being a passenger in a car.
I hate learning new things, I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to make any mistakes. I don't like not being good enough. Basically, I'm just shit

Logically though, you know that what you’ve written there isn’t true, right?

you need to sometimes be accepting of the fact that in order to be able to do something proficiently, you have you take the time to learn how to do it, and that within that process you will and absolutely should make mistakes - it’s how we learn and develop. No one on this earth ever got in a car straight off the bat and was a “perfect” driver - not one single solitary soul!!! Driving is a skill, like any other, which we have to take time to learn and also gain confidence in our own ability. Take the pressure off - it’s just driving. The world will still turn tomorrow if you crunch the gears or indicate too late or stall or whatever- you are supposed to make errors!!! I was at the supermarket today right and the lady in the car infront of me mounted the pavement and drove Over it to access the car park when she was yards from the turning into the car park and then she parked her car horizontally in the parking bay and off she went to do her shopping..... I shit you not.
Don’t sweat it - your doing better than you think, promise!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

So many people said that to me about my penultimate instructor, who was always cancelling lessons and saying he’d told me things over the phone when he hadn’t- I suffer from paranoia so just assumed I was the one making mistakes, but for some reason I felt like I couldn’t tell him I didn’t want lessons. He always went on and on about me being a single parent (as if I was there with my begging bowl) and how he was being so nice to me by knocking £3 or £4 off a block of lessons. He charged me £600 for lessons before lockdown 1 and never contacted me or responded to my messages. So much for giving my a discount for a single parent.

Jesus… you didn’t have my old instructor did you?
Mine used to make a big deal out of the fact that I lived in a terrace house, he’d regularly tell me that they’re full of problems, but cheap and affordable… and then he’d drive me past his detached four bed (not joking) .

He also said to me “Dubai is nice, if you can ever afford it”. I slipped it in convo once that I go to Florida each year and he asked “do you go in a group? It’s very expensive going there…” as if I couldn’t afford to go? and once when I said I was taking my mum to Gran Canaria, he said he went and it was cheap and nasty…

i mean the funniest thing was when he used to say “you could do with two hours a week, but you wouldn’t be able to afford that”. Baring in mind, we had NEVER discussed my finances and I’d never said that I couldn’t afford two hours! Yes I worked in a call centre, but I was on 19k and my partner was an IT engineer… i laugh about it now, but my god he was a knob!

 

[Gembo]

The fact so many of you switched to automatic makes me feel better. I had lessons a few years back in a manual and absolutely beat myself up about it because I could not get to grips with juggling everything at once. Read a comment earlier in the thread saying changing gears is not that hard.. I mean for some of us it actually is. Gear changing whilst I’m sitting stationary practicing is all fine but on the road when you’ve got to be alert and manage other vehicles, pedestrians, lights, junctions etc. I found it very overwhelming to be honest. Maybe my brain is just not wired that way to be able to cope with so much at once.

I do think I could probably pass manual eventually but it’s the time that puts me off. I’m leaning toward automatic as I just want to drive now and I think it would speed the process up.

there’s still a part of me that feels inadequate though. I look at everyone I know whos managed to get to grips with manual and wonder why I can’t? It does make me feel like a bit of an idiot to be quite honest.

No please don’t let it make you feel like an idiot, it’s really so unimportant and I don’t think anyone even thinks about whether someone drives a manual or automatic, I can’t think off the top of my head what most of my friends and family drive. I learnt manual and drove one for 10 years but when I upgraded my car I switched to automatic and honestly I’d never go back, it’s a dream! There are cars that you can now only buy an automatic version and I think going forward with electric cars manual will become a thing of the past. I wouldn’t waste the time or money pushing yourself to learn manual when there’s an alternative. Have you tried an automatic? If not give it a go and see what you think

 

[nightfeedz]

I’m having a panic. My test is in about two weeks and I am having a crisis of confidence. I’m cutting it quite fine with my theory test expiration and I don’t think I’ll be able to push back the date.

I don’t even know why I’m posting, I know I have to do it and try my best. I just wish my confidence wasn’t so bloody fragile

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Thank you for all your comments. I’m going to take my test next week and then report him.

He’s a 63 year old man (works for himself) and I know he teaches a lot teenagers. My own 17 year old brother took lessons with him but he’s dropped him, he wouldn’t say why but I wonder if he’s said something inappropriate to him.

 

[Clover123]

Good luck everyone with upcoming tests! I'm a way off mine yet but my lessons are definitely becoming a lot easier.

I think learning auto is a wise choice at the moment, 10 years ago sure, it was very limiting and i think most people getting critical of autos are stuck in that mindset. Nowadays it is very different! I'm learning manual but I do think it is a bit of a waste when all cars will be electric soon enough so I would say absolutely go for it!

 

[under the ivy]

My instructor yesterday told me to slow down on approach to roundabouts, but then said don’t start braking too early. So which one is it

She also said wear thinner shoes. Anyone else have ‘driving shoes’?

 

[Belulah]

I think I just feel so ashamed that I can’t yet drive that if the slightest thing goes wrong my mind screams at me that I’m too stupid to do it.

This really resonated with me!

 

[Belulah]

I've bit the bullet and finally message another instructor about availability

I think this will be amazing for you! Your old instructor was so manipulative! Best of luck and keep us updated!

 

[Lurkerlurker2019]

I passed my test first time in December and I honestly don't know why! I was 38 weeks pregnant at the time so desperately needed to pass but I hate it. I'm so nervous and don't ever feel like I'm in control. I've had my car for 7 months and the amount of bumps and scrapes I've had is crazy. I'm not a natural in the slightest and several times I've had a panic attack at the thought of having to drive. Ironically when I first passed I drove 249 miles to Edinburgh and it didn't phase me. The more I drive, the worse I get. People keep telling me that I'm still new (totally true and I really appreciate that) and it will get better. Good luck to all of those taking their tests. It's scary but you've got this!