Learning to drive.

[hogwartsgraduate]

I've had about 12 double lessons, passed my theory well but I hate my lessons I get so anxious, can't sleep etc etc... My instructor is ex army and if I make a mistake, not even a dangerous one, she will say 'WHY did you do that?' in a real attitude and the lesson doesn't carry on until I provide a suitable answer - sometimes I don't know why .
The whole experience is feeling a bit soul destroying and being close to the age of 40, mum of 2 and recently also redundant I could do with not feeling like I do... I don't know if I should switch to automatic or even instructor or just ride it out

 

[Kthxbye]

This is completely unacceptable and is actually boarding on harassment now. Report him to whoever he works for and also the police - it’s really not ok that he’s talking like this to you or anyone he’s teaching to drive.

He needs to be reported to DVSA, they are the ones who provide him with a badge to instruct. Absolutely unacceptable behaviour.

 

[openbook1]

Glad I found this thread, and the comments have been very useful!

I’m 28 and have never had the desire to drive (quite frankly cars terrify me)

but unfortunately I’m currently in a position where basically I need to learn, my son requires a lot of appointments for health issues.

My mum took me to a car park to have a go - it was my first time behind the wheel and I was so anxious. I slammed the breaks every time the car moved about 10cm

has anyone ever been absolutely terrified yet managed to get there in the end???

I just hate the thought of being in control of a car, and even though I’ve only tried this one time I’m convinced I will never be able to do it

Yep! I did my driving lessons 3 years ago, aged 25. I cried during every single one. My driving instructor was amazing though and very patient. Where I live (Canada), most drive automatic and you only have five 1 hour lessons (you can get more but they're v expensive). I did my five and then went out driving with my husband..well, you can imagine how that went. I was terrified of driving, I am not sure exactly why but my anxiety would be through the roof. But we got a puppy and I had to drive in case he ever needed to go the vet and my husband was at work...i am originally from UK and had no reason to drive before. It took a year but I finally sat my test and I passed first time. I would go out with my husband before and we would set up cones so I could parallel park, as well as driving mostly in industrial areas on the weekend when they are quiet. We get a lot of snow here, so that was something else I had to learn, how to drive safely in it. Now, I am at the point where I love driving. I will go for a drive to relax, lol. I never thought I would see that day. I still get a bit wobbly if I have to drive somewhere new but more about parking than anything else. I still have moments where I make a mistake, previously I would have burst into tears but now I just learn from it.

 

[Hope96]

I'm having my first ever driving lesson on Thursday and I'm already talking myself out of it. I think I really need to do this for my own independence and just to show myself I can do it. I have bad anxiety around driving and I've been putting it off since I was in sixth form. I just don't know a lot about cars, driving and the roads which makes it so much worse for me!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I will do, thanks! I think also I’m struggling cos I can’t see the road signs clearly enough. Went for an eye test a few weeks ago and I need glasses for driving! Picking them up in the morning and I think that will really change things for me as well. I think I’ll be shocked at how poor my sight is at the mo

Did your instructor not do an eye test with you on your very first lesson?! Yes, being able to see is pretty important!!!

 

[Lollypad]

I finally had a lesson yesterday where everything seemed to click. I made mistakes, but I learned from them, and things went well. I felt confident driving for the first time since last November, and then I even drove me and my partner in our car for an hour afterwards too Two weeks til my next lesson so going to do as much driving as possible in between to keep the momentum up.

 

[_Laura]

Bloody hell you're pretty much describing me here! A good while ago I used to always try and cancel my lessons, it was so bad! I was so nervous, hated being on the road and would mess up whenever I was given an instruction just like you. I also hated roundabouts and forward bay parks I'm so much better now, I just worry about going to pieces on my test and need to seriously calm myself down about it! I'll definitely use your tip and repeat the instruction in my head so I can talk myself through the process. It's just so much pressure being watched by a man you've never met lol and that 40 minute drive could literally change your life! When I pass I don't think I'll be able to stop crying for a few days hahaha

My instructor picked me up early on the day of my test so I could have a bit of a practice drive and I was so bad that he ended up just driving me to the test centre like half an hour early I remember doing a forward bay park, then trying to start in the car in 2nd gear, stalling, then wanting to reverse with the handbrake still on

I was a bundle of nerves during my test too, i had 2 minors for most of the test, then got 5 minors in the last 5 minutes. My instructor had told me that if I was too stressed, I could always ask to stop for a bit and when I did, the examinor said no because all was left to was the maneuvre. I did awful (like bang in the middle of two bays, I don't even know how I did it) and had a little cry The examinor was a lovely lady who gave me a pep talk "one strong woman to another", how I needed more confidence because I was clearly a good driver. I still cringe when I think about it but it doesn't matter how I got it Good luck

 

[under the ivy]

Glad I found this thread. I’m starting to learn how to drive in 2 weeks time. I have awful anxiety, so decided to go for automatic lessons. Everyone telling me it’s an awful choice...in a way I know it is, but it’s not as bad as letting my anxiety from preventing me from driving at all I guess?

Fuck what other people think. I’m learning automatic and I’m a better driver than I was learning manual. As long as you’re a safe driver, that’s all what matters. Best of luck x

 

[HoGi]

Last lesson before my test this morning and he spent the hour talking none stop about the bdsm programs he’s been watching and porn

He’s just started talking like this over the past few weeks and I don’t understand why.

Wtf?!

Good luck with your test and if you don't pass, find a new instructor and report him. That isn't right.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Just put a deposit down on car and had my final lesson before my test next week.

The car I've put a deposit down on, is diesel. Does that matter? Some people are telling me its a good thing whereas some say the opposite. Also a few people have raised eyebrows at me for buying a car before I've passed my test, does it matter?

Diesel is marginally cheaper than petrol, but not by very much - it used to be considerably cheaper but not anymore. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Don’t over think it!!!!
If you are buying a car (or anything else!) with your own money - then frankly it’s no one else’s business! Stop worrying about what other people think.

 

[Thank(space)you]

My driving lesson went amazing today there's rumours of October lockdown so I best pass my test this month

Has anyone done pass plus? Is it worth it?

 

[under the ivy]

I've got a lesson coming up for Saturday (first one in a week since having an anxiety attack after being called a 'learner w*nker' by another car driver). I just hope I can get over it because now I'm thinking it's going to happen every time I have a lesson

 

[kadykal95]

I hated learning to drive. Hated every single lesson. Hated my driving instructor too

I passed my theory first time, but it took me 3 attempts to pass the practical. My legs would shake uncontrollably every time i did the test i could barely drive.

My main issue was roundabouts and junctions. I would find it difficult to slow down, while looking and seeing if i could go and then be ready to go all at the same time. It just overwhelmed me.

After i passed i wouldnt drive alone for about 6 months afterwards either. But then i became more confident, and the more i drove the better i got. A few years ago i travelled up and down the country monthly to see my sister and my confidence on the motorway improved too. Now i would say i'm quite a confident driver! At one point if you asked me to drive somewhere new i would panic but i often drive to new places now and it's not a big deal.

My advice is keep going! You will get there!

 

[under the ivy]

Hi everyone!

I’m trying to find a new instructor for when restrictions ease off in April. I’ve also been thinking of learning automatic - 1) because I want to pass ASAP and save money with lessons 2) honestly, gears & clutch are what make me anxious. I know people say learn manual then you have the best of both but I’m just not bothered. I’d be happy buying/leasing automatic cars. It would make me a more confident driver as I’m able to focus on what’s going on around me I think.

Has anyone learnt just automatic?

 

[Gembo]

I went down a one way street the wrong way and the examiner ended the test on my first one lots of us have been there. It doesn’t mean you can’t drive, you just haven’t passed the test yet. Don’t give up you will get there!

 

[Pixipoppy]

You’ll get there honestly! I struggled so much to learn, I had a very vile instructor who used to basically tell me I’d never pass (nice!) which really dented my confidence too! Used to cry during lessons and everything. So degrading!

I think I was about 26 when I finally passed (after many many failed attempts from the age of 18!). What actually did it for me was moving to a new area and having a complete fresh start. Where I took all the other tests was full of bad memories and I’d panic over certain roundabouts/hills. I took my test about 2 months after moving to a completely new area and thought I’d fail cos I didn’t know the roads but I actually did better because I didn’t have all the baggage! If that makes any sense? So maybe see if you could at least do a test in an area that’s not where you normally drive?

I don’t agree that people who struggle to drive are better off in automatics. This really limits what you can drive when you pass and changing gears really isn’t the hardest part.

I never thought I’d be a good driver or a confident driver, but I’d say now I’m both - I drive for my job and love never having to rely on lifts. I have so much more independence I could never have before. Don’t get me wrong cars are a ballache sometimes but I couldn’t do without mine now!

 

[Everybody]

Glad I found this thread. I’m starting to learn how to drive in 2 weeks time. I have awful anxiety, so decided to go for automatic lessons. Everyone telling me it’s an awful choice...in a way I know it is, but it’s not as bad as letting my anxiety from preventing me from driving at all I guess?

 

[Che Guevara]

Sorry to hear that Bellulah! At least it’s extra practice on that particular area.
my son is waiting for a cancellation to come up, he sat his test first time 24th september and didn’t pass. He was devastated and I feel for him, especially as one by one his friends are passing first time .
To be fair, I started learning at 17, took about 11 lessons with about 4 different instructors lol. I didn’t like any of them. I didn’t start back up again til I was 29 (I’m 42 now) I chose a lady instructor and she was bloody amazing! Things felt different that time, before when I was younger I was just concentrating around the car and in the car but seeing as I had got used to the car back then I started to focus more ahead of me this time. Anyhoo I had a 10 hour block booking, I didn’t even look forward to my lessons! Even though I liked my instructor! (Go figure lol) but I used to dread them I took my first test and beforehand I went over board, looking up all the roundabouts I could go on, the test routes, potential questions he could ask me... I was making myself a nervous wreck! Although my instructor was so confident I’d pass she went shopping on during my test i didn’t get any minors but I got a big fat dangerous on the way back - a route we did the day before. Approaching a roundabout; left hand lane was to go immediate left and right hand side lane to go straight ahead or right. He asked me to go straight ahead, even repeated his instructions. I didn’t clock and stayed in the left hand lane and he had to put on the brakes cos a car thought I was going left
I got back to the test centre and bawled my frigging eyes out! I was so torn up for my stupidity! BUT it taught me valuable lessons and i re sat my test 2 weeks later and passed. Phew.
Wow I ain’t half babbled, but just wanted to let those who are struggling or not yet taken their test or who have and it’s taking longer to pass - it’s ok if you don’t get it first time! Some of the best drivers I know took a couple of gos to pass. As long as you don’t give up, you will get there. You deserve it! X

 

[nightfeedz]

Yikes I finally have my first lesson with my new instructor tomorrow. So relieved as I have my test booked and was worrying I wouldn’t get up to standard again in time.

I cannot be bothered with getting anxious about it though! I want to stay calm. The nerves are the thing that make me struggle with driving so it’s a vicious cycle once it starts.

 

[cedarpeach]

Hi everyone

I started my lessons again last Sunday. I have a new instructor and she is a lovely, gentle Ecuadorian lady with the most relaxing voice and demeanour.

even though I have had multiple lessons previously no one taught me about “push pull” steering! We spent the whole lesson working on this and steering wheel control and I was shocked no one else had shown me. The discrepancy between each instructor can be huge!

Anyway, I got the hang of it by the end of the lesson but felt so stupid at the beginning when I couldn’t grasp it that I had to fight back tears! How ridiculous. I think I just feel so ashamed that I can’t yet drive that if the slightest thing goes wrong my mind screams at me that I’m too stupid to do it.

At the end of the lesson my instructor said to me I am a fast learner and I have to stop telling myself I can’t do it because I can. She’s a lovely lady, I really feel good about seeing her. Next lesson is on Saturday. My plan is to be passed by the end of the year - I feel determined this time! Good luck everyone