Learning to drive.

[under the ivy]

I failed didn’t stop fully at a give way. Such a stupid mistake.

Well done on getting through your test! Try not to beat yourself up about the fault - it happens and next time you’ll be even better! x

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I'm nervous about the idea of looking for another instructor for several reasons:
- availability. My lessons are on my day off during school hours, so perfect time for me
- different instructions teach things differently, so I'm worried that would confuse me/cause a set back
- I'm worried that other instructors may not be as good
- maybe I am the problem

You won’t know about other instructors availability until you ring round and make some enquiries.

stop worrying about being set back - you can already drive!!!!!! the person holding you back is your instructor. At this point it’s not about being taught anything - it’s simply hours behind the wheel gaining the experience of driving before your test. Frankly, you could do the same thing in a car with someone else who can already drive.

you are not “the problem“ - but please stop allowing this guy to take the piss.

if you can’t get a new instructor then you are going to have to put your foot down now and tell your instructor that you ARE taking that test in September and that you are PAYING HIM for his service to get you test ready - and remind him that according to him you were infact test read in June. If he says another word about postponing the test again - tell him you are taking your money elsewhere and bin him off. The guy is taking advantage.

 

[under the ivy]

Did it work?

I’m very proud of myself drove from Norfolk to Kent and back again. Conquered the M25 and Dartford tunnel! First time driving on a motorway- and I only had my two year old for company!

Well done on your first motorway drive! My instructor said I drive really well and didn’t mention my mirror checks at all, so must’ve worked, thanks for the tip! X

 

[judsmum]

This really resonated with me!

me too.
So, I am sat on my bed, on my own in floods of tears because in 3 hours my instructor is coming for me and in five hours I’ll have failed. I honestly don’t think I can remember a thing that I’m supposed to do. I’m fucking furious with myself.

 

[under the ivy]

Good luck for tomorrow @judsmum! Thank you everyone for this thread, everyone I know can drive and I feel like the odd one out. It’s really nice to share my experiences and read others too

 

[Lollypad]

Im so glad this thread is there (thank you!!!)
I have my theory on Sunday. I'm crapping it. Im practising on my app continually but I seem to have triggered my anxiety badly with not knowing what will happen on the day. Can someone help explain it? Like from when you enter the building etc? Do you pick hazard first? What if you want to finish before the time is up? If you fail do you get a bit of paper? Does everyone there know you've failed?
Jesus my anxiety about going in a room and not knowing what to expect is worse than doing the test I think.
Sorry if this is pathetic - I usually can't go anywhere new without a friend or my partner, so I'm expecting my nerves to get the better of me. (Tempted to pop a diazepam these are prescribed to me btw)

Mine was a week or so ago - other test centres might do it differently but:
- it was first slot in the morning, so had to queue outside the building
- once allowed in we had to queue socially distanced away from the desk (if you want to pop to the loo I’d suggest going before this point)
- once at the desk I had to show my ID, lower my mask for a couple of second so they could check my face, and sign a document confirming I understood the rules - I didn’t read it, but it might help your anxiety and give your brain a minute to slow down if you do? Entirely up to you.
- then I was given a key for a locker to put all my stuff into, which I did (literally everything goes in there, nothing in your pockets, take your watch off, but I kept my engagement ring on)
- once my stuff was away I walked to talk to the monitor lady who overviews the room, and she told me which numbered desk to take.
- you go to that desk, and you check your name is right on the screen.
- if it is, then you can start your test - i put the headphones on for the whole thing as it helped to keep my concentrating
- the theory questions are first, you answer them as you would on the practice , if you’re unsure on any, then flag them and come back to them later, just take it nice and slow at your own pace.
- I then read through all the questions a second time once I’d finished to make sure I was happy with my answers
- then you submit your answers.
- at that point you can have up to five (I think) minutes to break before your hazard perception, but you have to stay at the desk
- then your hazard perception test takes place very similar to the practice ones
- then you’re done - you walk out of the test room into the main room to get your results, get your stuff, return the key, and all done

 

[BettyCrockerr]

The gear is definitely the issue. The assessors both told me my observation is great, but the gear management still needs a lot of work. After all these lessons (about 4 hours per week), I think it's time to forget about the manual. Most people told me they passed their test in manual though currently driving automatic and they would never go back to manual. I think going automatic would certainly relieve me from all the gear work and allow me to just focus on observation/driving. There's to much to manage with a gear.

In that case then yeah don’t even question it - just go for it in automatic!

 

[Prefrontalmedialcortex]

Hi everyone! I’ve been following this thread for a while, hope everyone is well!

I’ve been learning to drive for about 18 months now and to be honest, I don’t think I’m getting any better!

I still get panicked going out onto the road when it is busy - I feel I drive with confidence when the roads are empty (I’ve mainly been heading out for practice early morning or late nights).

Does anyone have any tips to overcome anxiety? I know I really have to go out more at busier times, has anyone tried Rescue Remedy or similar?

Don’t be hard on yourself, learning to drive can be a nerve-racking experience. Take as long as it needs and hopefully your driving instructor is supportive and understanding.

I put off learning to drive for a while as I lost my father in a car accident in my teens and it terrified me, I am also quite a highly anxious person. The thought of getting behind a wheel was a big NO.

It got to the point where I did not want to let this define me and I started driving lessons with a very supportive and highly recommended instructor. We took things at my pace and it took me over 2 years of lessons to feel confident enough to do my practical and I passed first time.

I did feel down a few times as it was taking me a long time and I was not getting anywhere. The hours I put into it help me overcome my fear and also learn to be a safe and conscientious driver.

Sorry for the long post. Rescue Remedy as other posters have mentioned is good. Wishing you all the best.

 

[Belulah]

I thought it was minor!
He is eroding your confidence by chopping and changing constantly! He’s a changing the goal posts constantly.

 

[Dexy]

I would rather do ANYTHING than take my driving test again. I passed my theory no problems but nerves got the better of me on the practicals. My instructor was so frustrated as she said there was nothing left to teach me, it was nerves making me make silly mistakes. I tried all the usual over the counter calming treatments but after four attempts it had become such an issue! My MIL suggested hypnotherapy! I only had one session, felt a bit foolish but the hypnotherapist said it’s a very common fear. She was shocked when she asked me to imagine it was the morning of my test and watched as I got worked up right there and then and was nearly in tears just at the thought of it, she said it was no wonder I couldn’t pass. Driving is subconscious a lot of the time. She told me to get someone else to book my test ( I would literally start worrying weeks before ) and not tell me till an hour before and then to call her and she’d talk me through it. Well it worked and I finally passed.
Just wanted to say don’t give up, once you pass you’ll never look back.

 

[rlouisep9]

I keep going between manual and automatic (i’ve had lots of manual lessons years ago) because I know there are people who judge others that have learnt in an automatic car but honestly I’ll be happier when I can just drive and if I can do it quicker in an automatic then I’m fine with that

I learnt in a manual, I had a manual car for my first year of driving but it made me so anxious always worried about stalling, rolling back on hills etc. I switched to an automatic (5 years ago now) and I have absolutely no desire to go back to a manual! It's taken so much stress out.

Since getting my auto car I've also found out just how many people have them, it's way more common than I ever realised. It's a weird thing to have a bit of stigma about, I literally couldn't give a shit if I changed the gears or if my car does it itself it seems to be more of a man thing and them wanting to feel like they are "in control of the car" but I've never felt like I didn't have control over my auto??!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Thank you everyone, I was absolutely fine shouldn't have worried myself

 

[codeine]

Just see it as being much better to get all of the daft mistakes over and done with when you have somebody next to you that can help you rather than doing it all as soon as you’ve passed and are on your own.

 

[judsmum]

My doctor has prescribed me a beta blocker. Has anyone had any experience with them?
good luck tomorrow @judsmum

Can I ask what the GP said to you? Was it your first time of speaking to them about anxiety? I really can’t go through this again next time.
Thank you everyone. I’m so very very disappointed but iv just got booked back in again for the 19th of November. So hopefully lucky number 3

 

[under the ivy]

Good luck @Belulah ! Really hope you pass tomorrow.

I’ve got a lesson today and I’m doing roundabouts. Think I’ll be ok!

 

[silkytoes]

I'm sorry you didn't pass Belulah,please don't let it put you off though, next time lucky!

I went down a one way street the wrong way and the examiner ended the test on my first one lots of us have been there. It doesn’t mean you can’t drive, you just haven’t passed the test yet. Don’t give up you will get there!

Haha that nearly happened on my first one too. The road went round to the left and I didn't realise and tried to go straight on into a one way street the wrong way! He stopped me in time but that was obviously a fail.

I've had lesson number 3 of my restart today. Not sure if it's because I'm older and calmer or because I like this instructor much more but it's going well. Did maneuveres today, I'm very relieved to find out I don't need to do reverse round a corner or 3 point turns anymore, they were not my strong point. I never really spent much time on bay parking last time though as I don't know if my test centre did them but apparently this one will so I had to spend some time practicing today.

 

[Pussy Galore]

So, after me posting about my anxiety for my test tomorrow, I've woken up with an awful sore throat and i can't taste much. Given its a symptom of corona I'm going to have to cancel. I'm actually so upset.
My partner says he thinks I'm just run down from the worry and pressure I put on myself the past couple of days and I should wait to see how i feel tomorrow. (My test is at 8am!)
In all honesty my body aches all over and my headache is getting worse, not going to risk anyones life for a theory test. I won't be able to get in do it again for another 3 months though so I'm gutted. I have driving lessons weekly and I'm ready to do my test. So I'm thinking of doing maybe one or 2 lessons a month to save some money until I get my theory done?!
Sorry for the long rant. I'm so frustrated and annoyed with myself.

 

[Belulah]

My first driving lesson after lockdown 2 is in 30 minutes. I’ve been avoiding driving my own car for weeks. I just don’t think I can do it. I have to drive the test route to get to work each day and even travelling along the road with someone else driving I have heart palpitations and shortness of breath.

 

[kittypaws]

Hey all, thought I'd join this thread! I'm 29 in a couple of weeks and it frustrates me so much that I can't drive yet. I didn't start learning until my early 20s and had real issues with confidence and anxiety plus a couple of crap instructors so I gave up for a short while. I then picked it up again, was well on my way with it and then was diagnosed with cataracts in both eyes and wasn't allowed to drive. From diagnosis, to the operations, to recovery I wasn't driving for 2-3 years. Was finally given the go ahead to continue driving again early last year then bloody covid happened! I was having lessons toward the end of last year with a new instructor who I love, then the third lockdown happened However, I passed my theory end of last year and resumed my lessons for the millionth time last week!

My test is booked for 1st July as that's the date I was given when my March test was cancelled due to lockdown (which I wouldn't have done anyway as I'd had no lessons for months.) My confidence has vastly improved from what it was, but I'm still a very nervy driver and feel VERY anxious before my lessons but when I'm actually in the lesson I feel ok. I think my biggest fear is roundabouts, I just dread them! I'm so busy slowing down and getting into second gear that it then overwhelms me that I've got to really quickly decide whether I can go or not and whether to carry on or go into first gear and stop, I feel like I'm just crap at judging and I panic cos you have to do it so fast and there's loads of cars behind you, ugh I just hate it! I think roundabouts will be what fails me on my practical :/

 

[under the ivy]

I’m doing some parking on my next lesson. I’m finding everything so much easier with an automatic!

Oh parking that is one thing that bugs me in a new place as I just "know" the bays in my regular places

Stg some bays are proper narrow and hard to park

I can imagine myself once I pass to use forward parking bays only