Learning to drive.

[Lollipop2123]

Defo go with automatic. All new cars are automatic, manual is outdated. Why give yourself the extra stress of gears and clutch control. Good luck x

 

[LadyB65]

Have you got any advice please? I passed well over ten years ago and I'm only able to drive around my local town and even that is a struggle

I only passed my test about 9 months ago and for the first 6 months I only really drove around town and at that only on roads I was familiar with.
I knew that last month I was going to have to drive to my friends hen do, which was on the other side of the country, and somewhere I had never been before, even not driving.
To get my confidence up to start with, I started taking slightly different routes around the town, when I was going to the shops or visiting friends etc, taking in different junctions and roundabouts. I then started going out for a drive once or twice a week at quiet times, leaving the town and each time venturing that little bit further afield to other towns and villages etc and building up from there.
I done the drive last weekend, and it was fine, no major dramas, took a few wrong turns, but just went with it and turned around or adjusted my route when I felt comfortable. My advice would be to take small steps and just go slightly out of your comfort zone each time, don’t do anything too major to start with if it makes you feel uneasy.
if you’ve been driving for 10 years you can obviously drive, do you mind me asking what your biggest fear of leaving the town is? Is it just the unknown?

 

[Ef27]

Well done though, hopefully next time those nerves will ease up a bit.
You’ll have company soon anyway, it’s mine tomorrow and I have no hopes for a good result.

Good luck I hope you pass! think positive

Aw sorry to hear this. You will pass, just today wasn’t the day for you. Well done for getting through it x

Thank you I hope so xx

 

[Very traditional]

Thank you so much for taking the time to offer your advice. I didn't see your first message until now but I did make him aware that I am struggling with the steering. I feel like he is taking over at times because he can tell I'm anxious and slow at reading the road but I don't think that's helping me learn. I don't think the lesson was great unfortunately but he said my pedalwork is good and the steering is getting a bit better. I don't feel like it is much better because he spent most of the lesson with with hand on the steering wheel which doesn't help me as such. :/ I wish I had access to a car to practice when I'm not having lessons but that's not possible for me. I'm having an lesson on Tuesday and then the same on Saturday so I'm hoping 3 hours in total will help me feel a bit more confident. I don't really feel like I'm learning that much because the steering isn't coming to me but my driving instructor seems to think if I had started lessons when I was a bit younger that would have helped but I don't think so as I've always been quite an anxious person. I'm unsure as to whether I should carry on or just quit for now.

Keep at it, like Betty said driving is a skill that takes. Practice. There are steering tutorials on YouTube that might be worth a look at, I think you can practice along with them. Also, it could be that the instructor isn't right for you; having the right instructor helps so much, if yours just takes the wheel instead of really getting to grips with the issue it isn't going to help you. Best of luck to you, you will bet there. I was 32 when I passed my test and I really regret not doing it sooner.

 

[Ef27]

How did you get on?

I failed nerves got the better of me, I hope next time I feel more prepared

 

[Brianbadonde]

The average is actually £35 an hour where I am right now, all the instructors prices went straight up to make back the loss from not working. My bank account is sobbing.

Yep feel you here, my daughters lessons are costing me £50 for an hour and a half.. wahhhh got to take what you’re given as we’re in a village and everyone’s waiting lists are huge so couldn’t afford to shop around so to speak

 

[Lollypad]

Hey guys, I started learning to drive once lessons started again, ten years later than my peers, and I’ve never been more terrified - I first had lessons 4 years ago and I felt like my instructor threw me in the deep end, it was terrifying, I had a panic attack and never went back. Fortunately now I have a brilliant instructor who’s really worked on my confidence and we’ve booked my test for end of November! For someone who’s had a decade of anxiety issues and months of therapy, it’s something I didn’t see happening.
One thing that’s actually really helping me keep a handle on the nerves is knowing that no one in my immediate circle passed first time - and because I’ve paid for all my lessons there’s no additional pressure if I don’t. Just because I failed something, doesn’t make me a failure (and trust me that one was a lot of therapy to learn too).

me too.
So, I am sat on my bed, on my own in floods of tears because in 3 hours my instructor is coming for me and in five hours I’ll have failed. I honestly don’t think I can remember a thing that I’m supposed to do. I’m fucking furious with myself.

Judsmum I’m so sorry you’re so scared and sending you a big, Covid compliant, virtual hug. The only advice I can offer is that your instructor wouldn’t be letting you take the test if they didn’t think you were ready. You are therefore clearly a safe and competent driver, and if you demonstrate that you should pass. If you don’t pass, you can try again, it’s not reflective of you as a person. There’s a lot of us in here in the same boat
My final tip is try and think what you’d say to a friend in your position - you’d be a lot kinder to them than you’re being to yourself.
Wishing you the best of luck, but whatever happens, you’re going to be OK.

 

[hrh89]

How can they fail you if it was another drivers fault?
Probably a dumb question I don’t drive but that seems very harsh and unfair. Surely if you reacted in as safe a manner as possible it shows you are competent and also aware on roads.

 

[nightfeedz]

I've bit the bullet and finally message another instructor about availability

Awesome. Hope it works out well. I have to take my theory again soon but have had to reschedule my initial appointment due to childcare issues. When will this eeeeeeennnnnd. At least in NI there are now plenty of theory test dates available.

 

[TheGlossy]

I'm in the same boat (well, I was, prior to these repetitive lockdowns). I passed my theory test in 2018 and started the lessons then. Well, 3 years later, I still don't have my full license which is a huge frustration!

1. First instructor (School A) - Terrible, one lesson, he was rude and asked me to do more lessons before starting the EDT. Ridiculous.

2. Second instructor (School B) - Great lady, but she ended up leaving the school.

3. Third instructor (School B) - Great instructor, but he was really pushing to get me to book more lessons as he knew I was solely relying on them to get some driving experience. I was spending tons of money on those and they were getting rather expensive with no discount. The school was also quite pushy to get me to book lessons. One time, he mentioned about how some of his students gave him tips after they passed and said we should go for a drink after the lesson. I stopped the lessons right after that. It's inappropriate to expect me to give him an additional tip when I'm already paying a fortune on lessons (most expensive school in Dublin).

At that point, I already had one year experience (3/4 hours per week).

4. Fourth instructor (School C) - Father of a former colleague. Complete car crash. Took lessons with him for a year in addition to the above mentioned year. Failed the test twice in Raheny. Second time around, he increased the price of the test car rental on the spot right before my test because he saw I didn't have any change (price was 135, but I only had 150 and he said "Oh it's 150" - complete lie as he had only charged me 135 the last time and never mentioned any price increase). Then I went on to take the test and the tester took me for a one hour drive (not the usual process). Then when got back to the center, he said the car was not road worthy and he knew it as soon as he got into the car but didn't want to stop the test because I had paid (lol). Failed the test obviously and he asked whether I ever drove in a different country as I was confusing my right and left (complete joke, I only have experience in Ireland - obviously prejudiced as he saw I was born overseas). The instructor said his car was perfectly fine (bit of a lie as the car was indeed roaring the whole time). Needless to say, I never took lessons with him again.

At this point, I still have my provisional, but hoping to take automatic lessons once this lockdown is up and with a bit of luck, I'll be able to put this disaster behind me. If I'd known then, I would have gone for automatic instead of this manual hassle, but at least I have some experience now. Next test might not be in Raheny though. Pass rates are low and testers are quite rude.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I would beseech anyone thinking of giving up to stick with it. I have hundreds of hours of lessons, 5 instructors, failed three theory and three practicals but I passed. I can’t tell you how euphoric it felt when you pass- and how completely life changing it is!

I’m not being hyperbolic using the word “beseech”-I’m passionate that everyone can pass because I did and my God I was not born to drive!

I agree. I didn’t start having lessons until I was 22, because up until that point, I was terrified of even being a passenger in a car and I was always adamant I didn’t want to drive.

I had around six months worth of lessons with my first instructor and I had to stop, my anxiety wasn’t getting any better and while my driving was okay, I didn’t feel like my confidence was making any progress.

I found a new instructor pretty soon after and had lessons for nearly another year and I still struggled with confidence, but I got better.

I had my first driving test a year and a half after I first started lessons and I failed my test because the examiner took me on a slip road and I hadn’t done slip roads in any of my lessons…. I kind of felt cheated as the examiner actually said I was a brilliant driver and he was sad to fail me…

Fast forward to a month later, I took my second test and passed. When I first bought my car, the confidence didn’t come straight away and I had to drive with my partner in the passenger seat the first few times, but that was almost two years ago now and I’m confident and enjoying driving now.

it will happen, believe in yourselves!

 

[Brianbadonde]

Trying to set up lessons for my 17 year old at the moment (18 later this year) all have waiting lists for newbies of 5 months or so one told me tests in our area are so backed up it could take 12 months to get back up to speed and there’s even current waiting lists of theory tests of 3 months.. I feel so sorry for anyone wanting to learn but who can’t due to the current situation especially those who are isolated and live in villages (like us) with poor transport links

 

[Lollypad]

Glad I found this thread, and the comments have been very useful!

I’m 28 and have never had the desire to drive (quite frankly cars terrify me)

but unfortunately I’m currently in a position where basically I need to learn, my son requires a lot of appointments for health issues.

My mum took me to a car park to have a go - it was my first time behind the wheel and I was so anxious. I slammed the breaks every time the car moved about 10cm

has anyone ever been absolutely terrified yet managed to get there in the end???

I just hate the thought of being in control of a car, and even though I’ve only tried this one time I’m convinced I will never be able to do it

I really think it’s about finding the right instructor - I was terrified to drive on a road in case I hurt people (it was never me I was scared for), 5mph was scary, etc. But my instructor put me at total ease. I haven’t passed yet, so not a complete success story, but I’m definitely a lot more confident than I was. I’d explain upfront that you’re very nervous, I think it helps them help you

 

[Upintheair83]

you know what, thank you for this. It’s so nice to hear this from someone who isn’t trying to belittle me! I am getting sick to death of people around me dismissing my anxiety as though it is nothing. I get heart palpitations, sweats, I feel as though I can’t breathe properly and it absorbs my every thought. I don’t care if this sounds dramatic because it’s how I feel. All anyone says is ‘just think how much easier thy bigs will be when you pass’..... Yeah, I’m aware of that love or else I wouldn’t be putting myself through it I don’t want to pass on Thursday so I can drive in my own, I want to pass on Thursday so I don’t have to do it again. I feel sick and I really don’t know what to do to make myself feel better.

I totally understand and I myself felt exactly the same way. I can’t give you much advice other than to keep trying. If you are anything like me you won’t enjoy driving even when you pass!! Don’t get me wrong it was a huge relief but I never get in the car and enjoy it! I still find it hugely daunting and if I go to a new place then I usually get my partner to do a reccie run beforehand so I can get into my head where I am going. I am very anxious at peak times of traffic and places I find busy, but I wouldn’t ever want to not drive now as it does give you freedom. But Iv been there with the sweating and the nerves, and I still suffer today with feeling that way with driving. What I will say is that pressure of having someone next to you and watching you does make a difference though and you will relax abit more. Keep going and let us know how you get on. And if you don’t pass on your next test, I know it’s hard and upsetting but just keep going. I’m here if you need to chat, but never ever be embarrassed about feeling that way, I honestly can relate 100% xxx

 

[openbook1]

Good luck! I drive automatic, way easier than manual as there is not so much to "think" about and you can completely focus your mind on the road, etc.

 

[under the ivy]

I’m having lessons atm (got one tomorrow). I was so nervous before my 1st lesson - didn’t sleep, physically sick before he picked me up. I suffer with anxiety so I’ve put off learning (late 20s now) but I just want independence, so fed-up of buses & struggling with shopping. Managed to save a bit of money during lockdown due to not having commuting expenses so thought I would see something for it!
I shocked myself on my 1st lesson, I went to 2nd gear and went around a roundabout I love hearing people’s experiences of learning. We can do this!

 

[Belulah]

I failed.

only got two minors and did my manoeuvre well but there is a four lane roundabout in the city centre and a lorry was trying to get in my lane and apparently I didn’t move over to let him in quick enough.

Gutted for you. You seem to have a lot of positives you can take forward though! Well done you for getting through it

Just because I failed something, doesn’t make me a failure (and trust me that one was a lot of therapy to learn too).

This a hundred times! I feel like such a shit mum because I can’t pick her up, I can’t take her to ballet (my sister goes while I’m having my driving lesson), we can’t just go swimming or into town on my day off unless my sister is free. It sucks but it doesn’t make me a bar person!

 

[Thank(space)you]

I've been learning to drive for a year now (mental breakdown and pandemic means I've had 30 lessons so far)
We did country roads for the first time and it was terrifying, but it's helped my confidence tenfold.

Things that help my anxiety:
Hypnosis app
Banana 1 hour prior to lesson
Rescue remedy drops
Trying to stop thinking about it so I can't get myself worked up

 

[HoGi]

I passed second time too

Statistically second time passes are safer drivers

 

[Snippysnips]

So I did a mock test today, 3 serious faults and 4 minors, I’ve completely lost my confidence now but I have x2 more 2 hour lessons booked before my test in less than two weeks so here’s hoping for a miracle

Your mocks will always be terrible, am not sure what it is about them but I didn't pass a single mock test I ever did, it's good you have more lessons booked not so far away as well, the longer the gap I feel the more your confidence goes, best to keep the gaps short, the lesson before the test as well is the worst you will ever do, just about every instructor says the worst they see their student do is the lesson right before the test so don't let it get too much to you somtimes reminding yourself of the bad takes away the fact the rest was fine