Learning to drive #2

[Book]

Did your instructor telll you to apply for your practical test? If so, you are ready. Please don’t quit. You’ve come this far. You can do it. I failed 3 times. I was the most nervous driver. I still am to be honest. Deep breaths rescue remedy. Banana and as much practice as you can.

Thank you so much!And yes he did actually booked it for me as I doubt I ever would have. I just can not seem to get any consistency I annoy myself so much it’s like I know what to do but actually doing it sometimes is a different story. and I get so nervous still that i grip the wheel so tight it makes steering and staying in position so much harder. I just don’t know when to say actually this isn’t for everyone and I may be one of them. I guess if he says I should take the test I will and see how it goes. I just do not see me being ready. He will likely push it back or use the slot for another student I recon.

 

[Boredofgrey]

Thank you so much!And yes he did actually booked it for me as I doubt I ever would have. I just can not seem to get any consistency I annoy myself so much it’s like I know what to do but actually doing it sometimes is a different story. and I get so nervous still that i grip the wheel so tight it makes steering and staying in position so much harder. I just don’t know when to say actually this isn’t for everyone and I may be one of them. I guess if he says I should take the test I will and see how it goes. I just do not see me being ready. He will likely push it back or use the slot for another student I recon.

Should have added I was 37 when I passed. Stick with it. Even if you fail, so what. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll be no worse off than where you are now. However, you’ll have experience and knowledge of what to expect the next time. So it’s a win win.

 

[Book]

Honestly I’m the same- had lessons for over a year (and still failed ) and was a little nervous to actually ask my instructor to go over specific things. I actually didn’t practice an emergency stop until the morning of my exam and only properly went through the show me tell me questions the lesson before, which worked well as they were fresh in my mind. It could be your instructor follows a similar method but it might be worth asking.
The way I encouraged myself to speak up was by remembering that I’m paying a ridiculous amount of money per lesson and that if I don’t get the most out of them it’s a waste. Maybe make a plan for yourself ready for your next lesson so when he asks what you want to cover you can say that. If you have his number you could even message him before hand so he can plan a route based on what you want and you avoid the anxiety of saying to his face.
It can be disheartening when you feel like every lesson you’re constantly making mistakes but I think sometimes instructors can be overly strict about them to keep you on top form for the exam. Try to keep that mindset for your next lessons and maybe give yourself something to look to afterwards so you don’t just get home and dwell on it too much xx.

Thank you , great ideas I will try to make a plan so that I get the most out of lessons as you say they’re soooo expensiveI’m that nervous that sometimes he gossips for at least 15 or more mins before I move and I actually battle in my head thinking I need to get moving but also I don’t want tosame for if her cuts my lesson say 10 mins shoet which is basically robbing me but I’m so relieved its over I actually dmxxx
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Should have added I was 37 when I passed. Stick with it. Even if you fail, so what. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll be no worse off than where you are now. However, you’ll have experience and knowledge of what to expect the next time. So it’s a win win.

Thanks so much I’ll keep going

 

[Miss.Chanandler.Bong]

Did any of you use P plates? I’ve seen some people say other drivers treated them worse when they saw them

 

[gossipgal21]

Did any of you use P plates? I’ve seen some people say other drivers treated them worse when they saw them

I did for a while for my own peace of mind as was very anxious about driving initially. People were mostly ok but I did get beeped even with them on (and I wasn’t doing anything that bad I think just hesitating)

Ended up taking them off when I realised I was driving better than most other people on the road so I might as well just join them

 

[Lalla]

Hi everyone, just looking for some advice, I’ve been having lessons for over a year now I know that’s ridiculously long. I’m peri menopausal and having terrible anxiety along with the rest of the awful symptoms. Any way my test is booked soon but I still haven’t even done all the manoeuvres no emergency stop at all and very few of the others let alone show me tell me. Whenever I have a lesson the instructor doesn’t have a plan for me and he asks what I want to do. Obviously since I’m so nervous I rarely say what it is I need to do because well I’m nervous and domt want to attempt the things I know I need to doI also do want to annoy him etc. Its constant criticism with the odd well done but the damage is already done the more he criticises the more anxious I get and it just gets worse. I know I’m not the best far from it. I don’t know wether I should just quit tbh xx

Honestly it sounds to me like you need a new instructor. If you're someone who is a bit anxious/ nervous especially when driving - I definitely was - the relationship you have with your instructor is so important. I had various awful instructors over the years (back when I was a teenager I had one who smoked every lesson, I also had 2 lessons with a bloke whose accent was so strong I couldn't understand him. However my final instructor was just lovely, he never criticized me at all, if I did something wrong we'd discuss it and he'd ask me where I thought I went wrong etc. Positive encouragement all the way - this works best for me.

So on that basis I would consider if you would be better off with a different instructor, you may find that you feel more positive and capable with someone who is encouraging you to do well

 

[hogwartsgraduate]

Did any of you use P plates? I’ve seen some people say other drivers treated them worse when they saw them

Yeah but only for a month or so, like gossipgal said they will beep anyway and whilst I was really nervous at the beginning it's starting to not bother me what others think. It's true when they say you only really learn to drive after you pass lol.

 

[LeWylde]

Did any of you use P plates? I’ve seen some people say other drivers treated them worse when they saw them

I didn’t use P Plates as I’ve seen other people behave quite poorly around those who chose to put them on their car.

Similarly (and this is my personal opinion), if you’ve passed using P plates shouldn’t be needed as you’re clearly a good enough driver!

 

[daisy2809]

average price per hour for lessons where i live has now gone up to £50, absolutely crazy...

on a completely unrelated note - did you guys found you got on better/learnt easier with a male or female instructor? had a male instructor before who made me really uncomfortable and that's mainly what's putting me off as lady instructors are very few and far between!

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I had a female instructor and I wouldn’t have passed without her. She totally understood my anxiety and never pushed me too hard. She definitely did challenge me and got me on the motorway one lesson. She knew not to tell me that’s what we were doing. I was on it ten minutes before I realised

I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with a male instructor. Especially as I became pregnant with my second child and passed at 6 months. She understood the hormones and let me flap but didn’t indulge me.

 

[gossipgal21]

I’ve had both female and male and for me it just totally depended on the personality of the instructor as I was very very anxious and finding someone who understood that and knew how to teach me was tricky.

My best instructor was my last one who I passed with. A 6ft something ex army guy with missing teeth and a bald head Looked scary as anything but first lesson he pulled over and said “So how long have you suffered with anxiety?” And said he could just tell and that he’d adapt his style to that.

It totally worked and he pushed me without even letting me know he was pushing me - for example he’d say “next lesson we’re going to do XYZ” but he’d sneakily get me to do elements of it in the lesson beforehand so that by the time i felt I was doing it for the first time, I was already OK at it if that makes sense.

anyway he was amazing, but I’d never have picked him in a million years just from appearances

That is to say I completely understand preferring a female for many reasons, ultimately you’re paying for a service so don’t be afraid to switch instructors until you get the right one, you will know when you get a good one!

 

[hogwartsgraduate]

I had both a male and a female instructor. The male was by far better for my anxiety and nerves - the female was quite bitchy tbh but they are all different! My male instructor was newly passed through BSM and he was brilliant.

 

[Swx]

I know the answers will vary but what are people’s views- 1 two hour lesson a week or 2 one hour lessons a week? And how long/ how many lessons did it take people to pass their test? Also, any tips on studying for theory test? I’ve just been doing mock tests but thinking theirs prob a better technique

 

[Boredofgrey]

I know the answers will vary but what are people’s views- 1 two hour lesson a week or 2 one hour lessons a week? And how long/ how many lessons did it take people to pass their test? Also, any tips on studying for theory test? I’ve just been doing mock tests but thinking theirs prob a better technique

Personally I think little and often if your lessons aren’t at busy times of the day where you are. If you live somewhere built up with heavy traffic, 2 hour lessons would suit better. I had a theory app and whenever I got 5 mins I do a mini quiz. Train to work etc.

 

[Lalla]

I found it easier to fit in a 2 hour weekly lesson than 2 separate lessons but it depends on circumstances. Also the key for me was having a car to practice in between lessons, this really helped driving become less of a big thing for me and more just something I did if that makes sense.
For the theory tests it's just practice, particularly the hazard perception which I found really tricky.

 

[klarakluckbag]

Getting the right instructor makes a huge difference. I found mine (my third, the first two were 20 years earlier) after seeing my neighbour, who is a complete dingbat, pass her test with him. I thought that if he could get her to learn to drive, he could teach anyone, even me! We were the same age, from the same part of town, and so we had a lot in common. He would make rude comments about "women drivers" who can't reverse properly (knowing full well that I'd try harder just to prove him wrong lol) I would swear at him for making me drive up narrow hills with cars parked on both sides, the lessons were hard work sometimes, but having an instructor that I could just chat with, made it much easier for me. It took me a year with him, I was 46 when I passed my test and it was worth every penny, I'm so glad that I did it.

I passed the theory test first time, I had a DVD with the hazard perception videos, I'm sure it's all available online now. The ones that I used for practice (10 mins every night for a couple of months) were much harder than the ones in the actual test!

 

[Miss.Chanandler.Bong]

Getting the right instructor makes a huge difference. I found mine (my third, the first two were 20 years earlier) after seeing my neighbour, who is a complete dingbat, pass her test with him. I thought that if he could get her to learn to drive, he could teach anyone, even me! We were the same age, from the same part of town, and so we had a lot in common. He would make rude comments about "women drivers" who can't reverse properly (knowing full well that I'd try harder just to prove him wrong lol) I would swear at him for making me drive up narrow hills with cars parked on both sides, the lessons were hard work sometimes, but having an instructor that I could just chat with, made it much easier for me. It took me a year with him, I was 46 when I passed my test and it was worth every penny, I'm so glad that I did it.

I passed the theory test first time, I had a DVD with the hazard perception videos, I'm sure it's all available online now. The ones that I used for practice (10 mins every night for a couple of months) were much harder than the ones in the actual test!

I agree with the bit about the hazard perception. All the ones on the official app I used were grainy footage but the cgi they actually use is better

 

[daisy2809]

my situation is quite unique so i'm not sure if anyone else will be able to relate, but my god does anyone else get sick of people taking the piss out of you because you dont have a driving license yet? i'm mid twenties and yes, i 'should' have it by now, but it's bad enough/embarrassing enough being in the situation without having others belittle you for not having it

 

[Boredofgrey]

my situation is quite unique so i'm not sure if anyone else will be able to relate, but my god does anyone else get sick of people taking the piss out of you because you dont have a driving license yet? i'm mid twenties and yes, i 'should' have it by now, but it's bad enough/embarrassing enough being in the situation without having others belittle you for not having it

I passed my test aged 37. Passed my degree aged 35. Bought a house aged 36. Got married at 28. There’s no perfect time to do life stuff. Driving lessons are bloody expensive and then as a young driver, insurance is almost non affordable. If you’re funding it all yourself and others have had parental help then I’d tell them to pipe down a little!

 

[Swx]

my situation is quite unique so i'm not sure if anyone else will be able to relate, but my god does anyone else get sick of people taking the piss out of you because you dont have a driving license yet? i'm mid twenties and yes, i 'should' have it by now, but it's bad enough/embarrassing enough being in the situation without having others belittle you for not having it

Yep, in my 30s and have never understood why it bothers other people if you choose to drive or not and when. Same way as I’m a vegetarian and people always question it and seem confused by it (no one would ever find out unless it came up naturally in convo- not like I go around shouting about it) don’t know why people care about other peoples harmless life choices, people are weird

Agree with the above poster, when I had my first job after leaving school I was shocked most people I worked with had their lessons paid for and cars bought for them by their parents (new Audis, BMWs, Minis etc) - one girl I know had a car bought for her and took so long to pass that she had a brand new car bought again when she eventually passed can’t relate also find the people who paid themselves judge you too because they could afford to pay/ prioritised paying for lessons then you should too kinda thing!