Lauren Goodger #50 #FreeLarose

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So is filtered to fuck.
.............


Pustules don't masturbate.
(cue esoteric music and throat singing)

Makes as much sense as energy doesn't lie.

Is she working on nonsensical 3 word slogans for the tories??
 
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This is Lauren remember. She probably gets stressed at the thought of having to get up off her fat arse to answer the door.
I think the winch that gets her fat arse from the bed to the sofa has broken, to be fair that would be stressful for bewful yung gel
 
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I will have a go at a recap. Please be kind, because success could be the highlight of my year.

*Loz kicked off the festive season by taking a pap walk with the minge pram. Backgrid photo fail or Loz is behind in her payments to the agency, because Loz looked mahoosive. Oh, and the pram was empty. DM comments were brutal, with poster "Ray" winning that section. Empathy for post-baby weight struggles which dissipates when BYG filters the crap out of her face and body,

*OK Magazine ran a cover story on Loz of a Thousand Faces. Our BYG shared the tale of the " mad dash to hospital" with "lifeless baby" , checking for "septis", etc. Loz made some questionable sartorial choices for the photo shoot, including a white sequined dress that could not be zipped up and a shiny purple Tinky-Winky costume. Poor babygel looked miserable all kitted out in scratchy pink nylon tat. Chaz conspicuously absent from photoshoot. Much speculation that BYG Is expecting baby #2, with odds on favourite name L'aurencé.

*Eagle eyed Scrunchies picked up on the personalised wall art in Lauren's house/flat/garden shed. Chavtastic and should be added to the Wiki.

*She a ball and he a bike are reunited, and it feels so good. Bewful luv story for the ages.

*Christmas arrived early with Scrunchies sharing a photo montage of Laureen's metamorphosis from a yun caterpillar ( she kept the eyebrows) to the bewful butterfly that she is today. Quite a collection in the last thread.

*Baby LaBored now has a fetching Morris Dancer outfit, but as she is propped on a pillow all day, she has not had the opportunity to wear it.

*Chaz and Loz had Christmas Dinner at Nicola G.'s home. Sweet corn was kindly provided. Loz wore her coat for the duration of the meal. Must be mighty cold chez Nicola. Chaz still found time to make an extra special appearance on Onlyfans. How festive.

*Babygel was pictured looking absolutely terrified in a Bumbo seat, cos the seat was on a table, not on the floor. Fear of heights, safety first and all that.

*The roasties! A demo of how to deep fry raw potatoes in cold goose fat. Several of us had to excuse ourselves from the thread, as were overcome by nausea. Loz, luv, you are no Nigella.

* @Clickbait did a brilliant job with the Annual BYG Awards, and @Pom Bear gave us some masterful artwork. @JakeM provided the music for the New Year's party. Apologies for not including all individual user names, but you are all stars

*Only a day into 2022, and Laureen is on the beg again. She has several new faces, and her beauty mark continues to move. Chaz has a new image. Mr. Foux du FaFa saw a picture of Chaz and said " he looks like he breaks rocks with his head". An odd choice of words, but I think it works

( I feel slightly uncomfortable with conjecture about babygel, so I toned it down a bit. Someone else can recap those discussions. This is a difficult topic for me, as I have a child who has severe developmental delays. Hope you understand, and I am not criticising anyone.)
 
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Amazing. V v funny
 
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I know I bet when she has a plate & a cup to wash, she has meltdown because there is “a sink full of dishes”
"Das wy I's gotta get meeselff a cleaner so dey can doo awl dat shit and' I can jus be bewful fer me fans"

Absolutely brilliant. Her raging coke head mother . Can just imagine them on the sesh together sharing a 5 quid note. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Bet the lot of them are coke heads and chaz is their dealer
So thats where skanky was heading for when she turned her car over in a ditch whilst off her face? lol Off to visit Ch/Arg
 
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Well done lovely fabulous recap
 
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Energy doesn't lie. Energy is her Only Fan. He gave her the heads up that her favourite takeaway is closed cos it's bank holiday. She is very stressed now. It is very sad indeed.
 
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Well done on the recap! I’ve been at work today so couldn’t start the new thread or do the recap
 
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I know we have a laugh but all joking aside, I feel so sorry for that poor baby with a mother & a grandmother like them, what chance has that poor little bugger got it’s heartbreaking
 
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sorry if this has been mentioned lol but wtf she done to her face stupid girl
 

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Must be all them stress wrinkles the photoshop missed.
Tomorrow she will message something like thanks for the thousands of messages you guys sent me concerned about my stress, I’m just overwhelmed right now because Dominoes in Cranham doesn’t want to give me free pizza like the one in Essex did.
 
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The mum child needs to stop filtering and photoshopping her kid

first the eye which got people concerned now this finger

her sister needs to step in and educate her in how to be a better mother
Is La’poorsod plonked on the kitchen worktop?
 
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Poor Lauren…it’s so hard being an A-list bewful yungel. The struggles of being a Virgo perfectionist, 24/7 hands on mum, having your trip to Dubia cancelled, paps chasing her with wind machines, and the local Chinese being closed. No wonder she is stressed, who wouldn’t be?
 
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