Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

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Phil Anne Throw Pee

Basic English for Dummies:

Bewfelyungel - Loz
Bewfelyungbabby - LasAgne
Bewfelyungboy - Chaz
Kebabpizzanandosdominos - a balanced, healthy diet
Homopathy - medicine
Antibiotucals - medicine
Bewfelyungmummy - Loz
Bewfewlwizebewfelnashonaltrezzure - Loz
 
Reactions: 15

Caw1982

HeCannitSeeMan said:
I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.
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Britain is officially broken if lasses are learning from BYG

HeCannitSeeMan said:
I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.
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Britain is officially broken if lasses are learning from BY
Tittykitty said:
Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips
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Kinhell mother earth. Surprised with how perfec she is at labour, she didn't just excuse herself from the table at tea (obvs finishing plate), then pop to the bathroom, pop a towel or 2 down, do a couple of deep breaths and a cough, birth Al Capone, set up the ring light, straight into photoshoot and doing Insta q&a's
 
Reactions: 10
S

SATCGOSS

Caw1982 said:
Britain is officially broken if lasses are learning from BYG


Britain is officially broken if lasses are learning from BY
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BYG can’t even teach herself anything let alone anyone else
This silly cow is still repeating mistakes of years ago like trying to hitch her wagon to total tossers who use her, being hungry for fame and ending up with scraps of attention but for the wrong reasons. The daft bint also continues to spend everything she earns with sweet FA of value to show for it (unless a gunt counts)
 
Reactions: 11

lamaitresse

Lauren's probably trying to rebrand herself as a parenting guru. Fuck off you imbecile. Anyone who takes advice from you is probably beyond help.

If I asked in all seriousness for reassuring words and tips to help me through labour and the midwife said "Keep breathing" I'd think she was taking the piss. Is that the best she's got?

I get that young babies take a while to get into a routine, but that's not really constructive "advice", either. I don't think Lauren is the disciplinarian type.

I also feel "the fear" every time she posts a zoom-in video on Instagram of LaRose (there's one on there from 22 hours ago) - it just seems like she's oversharing her baby far too much and could be prey to pervs. There's no boundaries. Though that ship sailed long ago (worries about LaRose's right to privacy).

Everyone shares their baby's progress differently but I think my brother had the right idea - he has a small, private Whatsapp group so he avoids spamming social media. And he would never post anything embarrassing. Or clasp his son to his half-naked body, for that matter.

And - (looking at the picture again) - THAT BLANKET! EEK!!!
 
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Reactions: 11

lamaitresse

Hey there's more on her Instabeg...she got freebies and she's touting for more! Yay!

Also, a shout out for Matalan! And George At Asda!


I hate the fact that some gullible companies enable this daft, lazy twat. She even admits she's lazy.

Oh dear, Matalan. I used to like you (though it's unclear whether it's #gifted). I don't know what's worse, those elastic bow things (makes me fear for baby's soft spot) or the pom-pom turbanette monstrosity Lauren's made her wear.

Asda get a mention too. Maybe she's hoping she can be the new Denise Van Outen (who infamously came down a peg or two, forced to do cringey Matalan adverts, pretending she was on a cosy afternoon TV show).
 
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Reactions: 11

mchops

The way she filters the girls face scares me. Why is she making her have anime eyes? Lauren you are a stupid weirdo
 
Reactions: 20

lamaitresse

mchops said:
The way she filters the girls face scares me. Why is she making her have anime eyes? Lauren you are a stupid weirdo
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Do you think she's enlarging LaRose's eyes Mind you, she does filter LaRose sometimes, which is a shame and says a lot about how much she values looks over intellect.

There's an article I read recently titled "Don't just call your girls pretty" - but we all know she will be that superficial mum who doesn't care about education or being a well-rounded human being. Of course, we all like a compliment and being told we look good, the point was that boys don't get told this continually.

And, Lauren, inspirational quotes don't make you sound wise. They make you sound insecure, and passive-aggressive.
 
Reactions: 11

Facehugger

Pom Bear said:
Looool that's another good title xx

Back later xx.

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Haaa, brilliant, thank you lovely ‍🦺 xx

Oh lovely, that hat makes her look like she's all ready for a Turkish bath
 
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Eureka

Can I just say that little turban thing on Larose is actually so freaking cute.
 
Reactions: 20

mchops

She literally posted a picture of her kid with blue eyes the other day. Sad cunt . I used literally for you fat lozza
 
Reactions: 11

Sjr2607

Her friend Chloe has a 5 week old baby, she is moaning as baby is awake all night so has tried keeping baby awake all day so it will sleep at night what kjnd of larent keeps a five week old baby awake all day for their own selfish needs? She is thick as shit just like Lozza
 
Reactions: 18

265

Lozza is a moron for not baby proofing her rented house.
 
Reactions: 11

MrAllSeeingEye

Tittykitty said:
Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips
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Thanks for that pearl of wisdom Loz. Jesus Christ what a twat. Blows my mind there are genuine people who look up to this nob.
 
Reactions: 7
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