Lauren Goodger #34 Syringing colostrum from her tatties, Chaz is now a chunky fatty

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Her speech and written word is so bizarre - I don’t want to go too far incase she has an actual issue in both but they’re illegible and strange
 
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TOWIE - "amazing show, I don't regret it at all"

It was a new show, nobody knew where it was going to go. We didn't get the help back then we get now.

Has had anexity for years.

Old footage of her with Mark and his family

Her heart racing is her anexity and she's going to have a heart attack

Wants to be able to control her anexity

She's learnt how to breathe

Another instagram Hollywood 2 face

And she's not got long to go until she's a new mum.
 
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Im not really sure what we learnt from that.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Am I missing something??
 
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But remember, this bewful yungel doesn’t use photoshop...

B8DA569C-FD26-4A31-B83B-359E5E889F5D.jpeg
 
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She looked bad. There was fat everywhere you could see skin. And her little pointy chin ontop of all her other chins cracked me up.

And she’s definitely put crap in her lips. Even though she’s denied it.
 
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I’m praying miniBYG comes out as a porky whopper - a lovely 12 lb-er cheeks so big they’re eyes can’t open

we all knowLauren’s expecting to give birth to a little kitten, 5lb 6oz. No friggin way. I want this baby straight into 3-6m clothes- purely because Lauren will be embarrassed.
My second child was 10lb 1oz (just gas and air may i add) and i had a tiny bump.....this baby is swimming in a swimming pool of fluid.
 
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Never watched SPL (never will again).

Fat and nasally, lack of grammar just about sums it up .... oh and breathing squares 😂😂
 
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Michelle is beautiful I mean Lauren’s went to far!! No be long she’ll be back in turkey for lipo
 
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So usual interview where you can see she engages when talking about herself but cba listening to the psychotherapist who incidentally was Jet from Gladiators.

It was filmed in her flat and she said she was 37 weeks so must have been recent. The flat’s decoration is gaudy AF.

Here are some screenshots I took - I have not manipulated them in any way. There is not a contrast problem with my screen - she was really orange.
 

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I can’t believe I’m writing something in Lozza’s defence 😱 but here goes… Sex work which includes her OF stuff may not be your cup of tea but not all of the people who do it are uneducated.

In Big Loz’s case she is a deluded lazy idiot who wants to earn money as easily as possible. She has no other talents/skills and she is clearly uneducated, lacking even basic literacy so she’s using her body and her photoshop skills to provide for the baby. I don’t think she’d have started offering the nude photos etc. if she wasn’t at the end of the line of the celebrity gravy train she’s been desperately clinging to.

I think she realises her time is soon to be up, that’s why she did the aesthetics training - again the bare minimum - to try and have a plan b. Sadly she’s as delusional about this as she is on her real appearance and thinks she is good at it when the pics she’s put up show otherwise.

I know that most of us would recommend she steps away from the spotlight (as dim as it is for her now) and look to have a more normal life with the baby. Get a normal job etc. But honestly, would you employ her? I imagine she’d have a terrible attitude, complete lack of attention to detail, be late and always off sick etc. So she is maybe trapped in this world of her own making. I don’t have much sympathy for that but I do see why she’s doing some of the things she’s currently doing even if I don’t agree with them.

What is so toxic about her life is that it seems wholly lacking in anyone willing to explain this to her. The only thing I can think is that people who do are cut out of her life and labelled jel haters. It seems the Dad was cut out for a while and perhaps wants a relationship with his grandchild so has stopped pointing these things out. Maybe her mum has taken up the mantle and that’s why she’s out the picture?
I think she is now trying to be a mum influencer, but as Kate Lawler has discovered this is not an easy option and Kate has lost a lot of followers from her incessant complaining about how inconvenient her daughter has been to her life and how much her new-born daughter didn't sleep. Both women do not have an maternal cell in their bodies and sadly it screams from their insta's.

Lozza has other issues with becoming a mum influencer firstly, she just doesn't have the following secondly and most importantly, she just is not likable in anyway shape or form.

As you say she cannot be honest even with herself about her appearance, I can't see how she will be able to put that baby first. This is going to be hell on earth for her.
 
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