From my own personal experience, when my partner died , I often ended up comforting people because on top of their grief they feel so devastated for you, it’s their way to show love so you end up being strong for them. Therapy is a must, it helps no end to speak to someone who is a stranger to the situation. In regards to the kids, my daughter was around the same age as Tom’s kids and she didn’t have a clue what was going on, 12 years on she sadly has no memory of her Dad, which even more sadly is somehow better for her. She can’t miss what she doesn’t remember, however she misses what could have been. I can’t help but empathise with Kelsey because I’ve been there, it emotions are just a rollercoaster and you do anything to survive, I myself kept busy all the time, I needed things to do! I also started a fling 5 months after, nothing serious someone i saw when my daughter was with grandparents, i told not a soul about it becAuse I felt so guilty but i desperately needed some kind of comfort the loneliness and the gravity of the situation is crushing.