Kieran posts a few messages to Pete and meets him at a club for faded 90s stars. They sit, wafting tinsel curtain out of their eyes. Strands stick to Pete's greased back hair and they have a manly laugh together, clinking their martinis.
They adjust their too tight trousers and sweat, in a hip and groovy way.
Pete admires Kieran's hands and his foxy eyes, whilst wondering if the same would suit him. He reminds himself to ask for the dr's number.
They quickly get down to the real matter.
'nah ven Kieran you mofo, what we guys gonna do bowt Katie da bitch? Ah mean, I've enough geezering on wiv young junior teaching me ow to frow gang signs, look, like dis brrrrro'
They amuse themselves with gang signs. Neither are aware that Pete is confused and is actually teaching Kieran 'wassup you pussy, fancy some cock' and the street sign for 'chips wiv scraps please lady'. Pete gets overly ambitious and dislocates his thumb.
'wotchoo suggest Pete. Ya cunt.'
Pete looks up.
'er, i meant wotchoo suggest we do wiv tha cunt mate'
They shake their heads. The oil from their hair slurps off like a torpedoed slug and lands in an empty dish on the bar. Jarvis Cocker walks past and dunks his burger in.
'Well she's not fuckin seein Prinny and Jooonyer. Not today anyway. I'm makin a stand. Joonyer' s too busy learning voicetune an havin lessons in come hither eyes, he's too busy man, he's famous.
Prinny, well she was gutted for 23 minutes but she put er pink tracky on to honour her muvva cos she's a good girl, an is doin some pouting for the gram.'
He waits to hear how the younger children are coping.
Kieran flicks his tongue out several times.
' ow about the little uns? They copin? '
Kieran nods.
' yeah man. Bunny misses her mam lots mate, she loves the arse of her. You cunt.
The other un, the lad, Jeff, Er, Jed. He's the same obvs but shy so he's quiet'
Pete tries to catch Kieran's eye but they're both whizzing around like spokes on a bike.
He is slowly realising something isn't quite right.
'Kieran mate, you ok?'
Kieran shrugs.
'I like your jacket Kieran, you were always a sharp dresser just like me. Not sure bowt the trackybottoms tho, your tight jeans look well smarter.'
Kieran crosses his legs and sweats.
Pete stares as the sweat on Kieran's forehead drips, revealing a startling streak of thick black marker pen going from above his eye to the forehead. And beyond.
' oi Kieran. How's your OF goin mate? Yer cum face looked fuckin hot last time. You gonna flash me yer chocolate starfish again mate, that was so funny!'
A pause.
In a cold voice Pete continues.
'i dare ya mate. For old times. Dare ya.'
And Kieran just cannot resist a dare, ever.
They both walk to the gents, nodding to Ricky Martin and little Mark Owen on the way.
Inside the cubicle Kieran edges down his tracksuit bottoms and thrusts his chocolate starfish at Pete. Pete moves his fringe out of the way and looks closely.
'Can i touch it?' he asks.
'Fucks sake. Just once'.
Pete peers, Pete touches, Pete inhales and peers again.
'There's only one chocolate starfish in the world that looks like a burnt casserole.'
Kieran stands up slowly, removing his wig and his teeth guards. The room glows with light and Vanilla Ice leaps to his pose thinking it's a camera.
Standing in front of Pete, to his horror, is katie
To be continued....