Katie Hayes #23 Heads are spinning, Dena’s winning. Cheryl’s fled, where’s me head?!

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Tricia47636

Tricia47636

Dyyyyyying 😂😂 joining the last thread wasn't my wisest move, should've waited for this one 🤣
 
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N

noseybirdxo

XoxoGigixoxo said:
I’m so happy this thread is back on the straight and narrow(well as much as it can be, yous know what I mean 😂). I was really debating giving up tattle after the last thread, it proper sent me west 🤯😂 but so glad normal service has resumed 😜 As you were tattlers...

P.S I also reckon a Sunday announcement is pending, we shall see 👀
Click to expand...
for sure, either a late morning or around 7pm announcement - peak times only for the engagement craved 🤪🙄
 
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Leonardodavinci

Leonardodavinci

QueenBarb said:
Best not be on abar me because I’m away with my family hahahahaha. Got anxiety keeping off her now incase everyone bleeping turns on me 😂😂😂
Click to expand...
Welcome back my queen 👑

TheFox286 said:
How have people noticed someone spelling tit wrong and being a snake. I must be thick as duck cos all I’ve done is crease laughing I’m oblivious 😂

I’m paranoid now in case I spell something wrong and get accused of being baby Gemma Collins
Click to expand...
Same 😭😭😭 I’ve been away all day, come home and we’re back to the x files again. It’s like when you drive past the police feeling all cagey, even though you know you’ve done nothing wrong 😂

QueenBarb said:
AT APH:

MIDWIFE: RIGHT KATE HUN YOU CAN FINALLY MEET YOUR BABY GERL CONGRATS, HERE SHE IS

*Olive is passed over the surgery screen and held in the air like a fish that’s just been caught in the sea*

DELO: FUCKIN HELL KATE SHES ERE!! 2 BECOME 3 GERL!!

THM: MATT! FUCKEN JUS GET ME PHONE NOW THOUGHT I FUCKIN SAID TO GIVE IT ME BEFORE THIS MIDWIFE HANDS HER OVER TO ME MMMKAY???!!

*Delo dives head first into his overnight bag flapping about looking for her phone whilst Kate is looking down at him picking her nose, both nostrils at the same time*

THM: *points with her middle finger to her gifted bag* ITS IN MY BAG YA head, GET OUT YOUR UNNECESSARY OVERNIGHT BAG QUICK MMMKAY, LOOK NEAR ME NEAR THE CANDLES, PAMPAS GRASS & BREATH SPRAY!!!!!

*Delo goes cross eyed for a few seconds trying to find it, finally sees it all covered in orange Dior finger marks and a strip eyelash - hands it to Momma*

MIDWIFE: HERE YOU GO SHES ALL SWADDLED HERE - WHAT ARE YA GONNA CALL HER????

Delo: A REALLY BESPOKE NAME. DO YOU WANT ANY PANELLING DOING BY THE WAY? GOT ME WORK PHONE ON ME CAN BOOK YA IN?

THM: A NAME MMMKAY, SO SO RARE, THAT NO ONE WILL EVER GUESS. A NAME SO OLD IT IS ONLY FOUND IN THE BIBLE MMKAY AND OLD HISTORY BOOKS. A NAME SO AMAZING NO ONE WILL GET IT

*Health visitor side steps into the door and is hit in the face by THM’s rancid breath that’s filled the room*

Health Visitor: *holding her nose* I AM HEALTH VISITOR KATE ... AND YOU ACCIDENTALLY LEAKED THE BABIES NAME ON INSTAGRAM VIA A DUMMY CLIP

THM: YOU ON TATTLE? MMKAY, YOU A TROLL????

MIDWIFE: DO YA DO PANELLING YEAH? ILL GIVE YA MY NUMBER IM NESTON AREA. DO YA CONVERT TINY GARAGES INTO TINY INADEQUATE LIVING ROOMS TOO???

HEALTH VISITOR: IS IT OLIVE?

DELO: I DO YEAH. FOLLOW MY INSTA AND ILL MESSAGE YA. SOZ HV BUT YOUR THE bleeping QUEEN OF TATTLE, BEST GET OUT NOW OR ILL BE KNOCKING ON YA MAMS DOOR.

*Health visitor runs towards delivery room door leaving behind a shoe like Cinderella, turns back and waits for Delo to look round, he does a phone sign with his hand to her with dead pan eyes*

THM: SHE IS GORGEOUS HONESTLY IVE NEVER SEEN A MORE BESPOKE BABY, MATT SHES YOUR PRINCESS ISNT SHE MATT? MMKAY MATT YOU OBSESSED? IM SO OBSESSED! BEST BABY EVER!!!!!!! LEMME RING CHEZZA

*dials Chez whilst the midwife tries to whack THM’s leaky tyre tit into poor Olives tiny tired mouth, Delo tries to squeeze a tear out hoping THM will see*

CHEZ: IYA BABE!!! OORRRRRR IVE BEEN WAITING BY MY PHONE GERL. I SAID TO BAAYLAY duck THE HATERS! YOU ARE SO ICONIC KATE. HEARD FROM DENA? IVE BLOCKED HER NAH.

THM: SHES HERE LUV, SHES AMAYZIN, MMMKAY, 10LB 8, GOT MY ENLARGED NOSE, NOT MUCH HAIR BUT ILL DRAG A TOOTHBRUSH THROUGH ANYWAY LIKE FOR THE GRAM. THE SECTION WAS GIFTED YA KNOW!!! HOWS IBIZA MMKAY?

CHEZ: CARRNT WAIT TO SEE HER, CAN YOU BELIEVE MARK IS ASKING ME WHERE HIS JEANS ARE? IBIZA IS GORGE HUN, LEFT MY HOOVER ROUND THE POOL YESTERDAY WHILE I WENT FOR A tit, TOLD BAYLAY KEEP AN EYE ON IT AND SOMEONES bleeping HAD OFF WITH IT

THM: OK HUN WELL I AM SO TIRED FROM ALL THIS DELIVERY MMKAY, I HAVE 10000’S OF STITCHES BUT MY SCAR IS BASICALLY INVISIBLE IM SO LUCKY. GONNA GIVE MATT AN ULTIMATUM TOMORROW WHICH FORCES HIM INTO PROPOSING, SO, YEAH.

CHEZ: YOU ARE A BOSS BABE.

*THM puts the phone down on top of Olives head, looks down at her daughter and her face lights up, she just realised the babies head is the perfect phone holder she can still scroll insta/tattle

MIDWIFE: YOUR DOING WELL KATE, KEEP YA TIT IN HER MOUTH AND LETS KEEP THE SKIN TO SK - WAIT LET ME JUST LOOK AT BABY...

DELO: WHY WHATS THE MATTER?

MIDWIFE: HER SKIN, ITS...

*THM looks down and notices all her tit strawberry mouse BPERFECT tan is all over poor bloody Olive*

THM: OH ITS THIS AMAYYYZIN TAN MMKAY, ILL WIPE IT OFF WHEN SHES FINISHED ON MY LEAKING BURGER NIP. DO YOU WANT MY DISCOUNT CODE TO ORDER SOME MMKAY?

*Midwife takes baby’s paperwork and leaves the room*

DELO: KATE THE LADS ARE OUT IN TOWN TONIGHT GERL GONNA GO WET THE BABYS HEAD.

THM: FUCKIN HELL MATT, MMKAY I KNEW THIS WAS COMING, THROWING ME ORANGE JUICE AT ME ON INSTA THE OTHER DAY LIKE A KNOB, LOOKING FED UP AS duck, SUP WITH YA DADDY DIY MMKAY?

*Delo shakes his head and moonwalks out the room all the way to the lift*
Click to expand...
Perfect phone holder HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
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Blair-Waldorf

Blair-Waldorf

QueenBarb said:
AT APH:

MIDWIFE: RIGHT KATE HUN YOU CAN FINALLY MEET YOUR BABY GERL CONGRATS, HERE SHE IS

*Olive is passed over the surgery screen and held in the air like a fish that’s just been caught in the sea*

DELO: FUCKIN HELL KATE SHES ERE!! 2 BECOME 3 GERL!!

THM: MATT! FUCKEN JUS GET ME PHONE NOW THOUGHT I FUCKIN SAID TO GIVE IT ME BEFORE THIS MIDWIFE HANDS HER OVER TO ME MMMKAY???!!

*Delo dives head first into his overnight bag flapping about looking for her phone whilst Kate is looking down at him picking her nose, both nostrils at the same time*

THM: *points with her middle finger to her gifted bag* ITS IN MY BAG YA head, GET OUT YOUR UNNECESSARY OVERNIGHT BAG QUICK MMMKAY, LOOK NEAR ME NEAR THE CANDLES, PAMPAS GRASS & BREATH SPRAY!!!!!

*Delo goes cross eyed for a few seconds trying to find it, finally sees it all covered in orange Dior finger marks and a strip eyelash - hands it to Momma*

MIDWIFE: HERE YOU GO SHES ALL SWADDLED HERE - WHAT ARE YA GONNA CALL HER????

Delo: A REALLY BESPOKE NAME. DO YOU WANT ANY PANELLING DOING BY THE WAY? GOT ME WORK PHONE ON ME CAN BOOK YA IN?

THM: A NAME MMMKAY, SO SO RARE, THAT NO ONE WILL EVER GUESS. A NAME SO OLD IT IS ONLY FOUND IN THE BIBLE MMKAY AND OLD HISTORY BOOKS. A NAME SO AMAZING NO ONE WILL GET IT

*Health visitor side steps into the door and is hit in the face by THM’s rancid breath that’s filled the room*

Health Visitor: *holding her nose* I AM HEALTH VISITOR KATE ... AND YOU ACCIDENTALLY LEAKED THE BABIES NAME ON INSTAGRAM VIA A DUMMY CLIP

THM: YOU ON TATTLE? MMKAY, YOU A TROLL????

MIDWIFE: DO YA DO PANELLING YEAH? ILL GIVE YA MY NUMBER IM NESTON AREA. DO YA CONVERT TINY GARAGES INTO TINY INADEQUATE LIVING ROOMS TOO???

HEALTH VISITOR: IS IT OLIVE?

DELO: I DO YEAH. FOLLOW MY INSTA AND ILL MESSAGE YA. SOZ HV BUT YOUR THE bleeping QUEEN OF TATTLE, BEST GET OUT NOW OR ILL BE KNOCKING ON YA MAMS DOOR.

*Health visitor runs towards delivery room door leaving behind a shoe like Cinderella, turns back and waits for Delo to look round, he does a phone sign with his hand to her with dead pan eyes*

THM: SHE IS GORGEOUS HONESTLY IVE NEVER SEEN A MORE BESPOKE BABY, MATT SHES YOUR PRINCESS ISNT SHE MATT? MMKAY MATT YOU OBSESSED? IM SO OBSESSED! BEST BABY EVER!!!!!!! LEMME RING CHEZZA

*dials Chez whilst the midwife tries to whack THM’s leaky tyre tit into poor Olives tiny tired mouth, Delo tries to squeeze a tear out hoping THM will see*

CHEZ: IYA BABE!!! OORRRRRR IVE BEEN WAITING BY MY PHONE GERL. I SAID TO BAAYLAY duck THE HATERS! YOU ARE SO ICONIC KATE. HEARD FROM DENA? IVE BLOCKED HER NAH.

THM: SHES HERE LUV, SHES AMAYZIN, MMMKAY, 10LB 8, GOT MY ENLARGED NOSE, NOT MUCH HAIR BUT ILL DRAG A TOOTHBRUSH THROUGH ANYWAY LIKE FOR THE GRAM. THE SECTION WAS GIFTED YA KNOW!!! HOWS IBIZA MMKAY?

CHEZ: CARRNT WAIT TO SEE HER, CAN YOU BELIEVE MARK IS ASKING ME WHERE HIS JEANS ARE? IBIZA IS GORGE HUN, LEFT MY HOOVER ROUND THE POOL YESTERDAY WHILE I WENT FOR A tit, TOLD BAYLAY KEEP AN EYE ON IT AND SOMEONES bleeping HAD OFF WITH IT

THM: OK HUN WELL I AM SO TIRED FROM ALL THIS DELIVERY MMKAY, I HAVE 10000’S OF STITCHES BUT MY SCAR IS BASICALLY INVISIBLE IM SO LUCKY. GONNA GIVE MATT AN ULTIMATUM TOMORROW WHICH FORCES HIM INTO PROPOSING, SO, YEAH.

CHEZ: YOU ARE A BOSS BABE.

*THM puts the phone down on top of Olives head, looks down at her daughter and her face lights up, she just realised the babies head is the perfect phone holder she can still scroll insta/tattle

MIDWIFE: YOUR DOING WELL KATE, KEEP YA TIT IN HER MOUTH AND LETS KEEP THE SKIN TO SK - WAIT LET ME JUST LOOK AT BABY...

DELO: WHY WHATS THE MATTER?

MIDWIFE: HER SKIN, ITS...

*THM looks down and notices all her tit strawberry mouse BPERFECT tan is all over poor bloody Olive*

THM: OH ITS THIS AMAYYYZIN TAN MMKAY, ILL WIPE IT OFF WHEN SHES FINISHED ON MY LEAKING BURGER NIP. DO YOU WANT MY DISCOUNT CODE TO ORDER SOME MMKAY?

*Midwife takes baby’s paperwork and leaves the room*

DELO: KATE THE LADS ARE OUT IN TOWN TONIGHT GERL GONNA GO WET THE BABYS HEAD.

THM: FUCKIN HELL MATT, MMKAY I KNEW THIS WAS COMING, THROWING ME ORANGE JUICE AT ME ON INSTA THE OTHER DAY LIKE A KNOB, LOOKING FED UP AS duck, SUP WITH YA DADDY DIY MMKAY?

*Delo shakes his head and moonwalks out the room all the way to the lift*
Click to expand...
I am in fuckin tears MMKAYY 🤣
 
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lollianna

lollianna

She probably hasn’t been discharged yet, maybe Olive isn’t taking to the bespoke milk or something and she’s waiting for the car seat pic daddy Delo pic
 
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Charlie Farlie

Charlie Farlie

lollianna said:
She probably hasn’t been discharged yet, maybe Olive isn’t taking to the bespoke milk or something and she’s waiting for the car seat pic daddy Delo pic
Click to expand...
Or maybe little legs is on the missing list.👀 ( daddy delo) just incase. 🤣
 
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D

Dazzle123

lollianna said:
She probably hasn’t been discharged yet, maybe Olive isn’t taking to the bespoke milk or something and she’s waiting for the car seat pic daddy Delo pic
Click to expand...
I honestly think it was just a lot harder than KHM thought and she’s knackered and worrying now.
Quite normal reactions, I truly believe that nobody is ever actually ready for a baby, you could be the most stable, financially secure couple ever but you’re just not ready for how your life is about to change.
Like I said before I hope all is well, I’m actually the most broody bloke going,So really excited to see the little thing on top of the fact I’ve been invested in all this since like thread three and want nothing more than for me and the Mrs to have a baby but we’re getting married next year so gotta wait a little.

any guesses on middle names as obviously olive is the First name?
 
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Abongo

Abongo

QueenBarb said:
AT APH:

MIDWIFE: RIGHT KATE HUN YOU CAN FINALLY MEET YOUR BABY GERL CONGRATS, HERE SHE IS

*Olive is passed over the surgery screen and held in the air like a fish that’s just been caught in the sea*

DELO: FUCKIN HELL KATE SHES ERE!! 2 BECOME 3 GERL!!

THM: MATT! FUCKEN JUS GET ME PHONE NOW THOUGHT I FUCKIN SAID TO GIVE IT ME BEFORE THIS MIDWIFE HANDS HER OVER TO ME MMMKAY???!!

*Delo dives head first into his overnight bag flapping about looking for her phone whilst Kate is looking down at him picking her nose, both nostrils at the same time*

THM: *points with her middle finger to her gifted bag* ITS IN MY BAG YA head, GET OUT YOUR UNNECESSARY OVERNIGHT BAG QUICK MMMKAY, LOOK NEAR ME NEAR THE CANDLES, PAMPAS GRASS & BREATH SPRAY!!!!!

*Delo goes cross eyed for a few seconds trying to find it, finally sees it all covered in orange Dior finger marks and a strip eyelash - hands it to Momma*

MIDWIFE: HERE YOU GO SHES ALL SWADDLED HERE - WHAT ARE YA GONNA CALL HER????

Delo: A REALLY BESPOKE NAME. DO YOU WANT ANY PANELLING DOING BY THE WAY? GOT ME WORK PHONE ON ME CAN BOOK YA IN?

THM: A NAME MMMKAY, SO SO RARE, THAT NO ONE WILL EVER GUESS. A NAME SO OLD IT IS ONLY FOUND IN THE BIBLE MMKAY AND OLD HISTORY BOOKS. A NAME SO AMAZING NO ONE WILL GET IT

*Health visitor side steps into the door and is hit in the face by THM’s rancid breath that’s filled the room*

Health Visitor: *holding her nose* I AM HEALTH VISITOR KATE ... AND YOU ACCIDENTALLY LEAKED THE BABIES NAME ON INSTAGRAM VIA A DUMMY CLIP

THM: YOU ON TATTLE? MMKAY, YOU A TROLL????

MIDWIFE: DO YA DO PANELLING YEAH? ILL GIVE YA MY NUMBER IM NESTON AREA. DO YA CONVERT TINY GARAGES INTO TINY INADEQUATE LIVING ROOMS TOO???

HEALTH VISITOR: IS IT OLIVE?

DELO: I DO YEAH. FOLLOW MY INSTA AND ILL MESSAGE YA. SOZ HV BUT YOUR THE bleeping QUEEN OF TATTLE, BEST GET OUT NOW OR ILL BE KNOCKING ON YA MAMS DOOR.

*Health visitor runs towards delivery room door leaving behind a shoe like Cinderella, turns back and waits for Delo to look round, he does a phone sign with his hand to her with dead pan eyes*

THM: SHE IS GORGEOUS HONESTLY IVE NEVER SEEN A MORE BESPOKE BABY, MATT SHES YOUR PRINCESS ISNT SHE MATT? MMKAY MATT YOU OBSESSED? IM SO OBSESSED! BEST BABY EVER!!!!!!! LEMME RING CHEZZA

*dials Chez whilst the midwife tries to whack THM’s leaky tyre tit into poor Olives tiny tired mouth, Delo tries to squeeze a tear out hoping THM will see*

CHEZ: IYA BABE!!! OORRRRRR IVE BEEN WAITING BY MY PHONE GERL. I SAID TO BAAYLAY duck THE HATERS! YOU ARE SO ICONIC KATE. HEARD FROM DENA? IVE BLOCKED HER NAH.

THM: SHES HERE LUV, SHES AMAYZIN, MMMKAY, 10LB 8, GOT MY ENLARGED NOSE, NOT MUCH HAIR BUT ILL DRAG A TOOTHBRUSH THROUGH ANYWAY LIKE FOR THE GRAM. THE SECTION WAS GIFTED YA KNOW!!! HOWS IBIZA MMKAY?

CHEZ: CARRNT WAIT TO SEE HER, CAN YOU BELIEVE MARK IS ASKING ME WHERE HIS JEANS ARE? IBIZA IS GORGE HUN, LEFT MY HOOVER ROUND THE POOL YESTERDAY WHILE I WENT FOR A tit, TOLD BAYLAY KEEP AN EYE ON IT AND SOMEONES bleeping HAD OFF WITH IT

THM: OK HUN WELL I AM SO TIRED FROM ALL THIS DELIVERY MMKAY, I HAVE 10000’S OF STITCHES BUT MY SCAR IS BASICALLY INVISIBLE IM SO LUCKY. GONNA GIVE MATT AN ULTIMATUM TOMORROW WHICH FORCES HIM INTO PROPOSING, SO, YEAH.

CHEZ: YOU ARE A BOSS BABE.

*THM puts the phone down on top of Olives head, looks down at her daughter and her face lights up, she just realised the babies head is the perfect phone holder she can still scroll insta/tattle

MIDWIFE: YOUR DOING WELL KATE, KEEP YA TIT IN HER MOUTH AND LETS KEEP THE SKIN TO SK - WAIT LET ME JUST LOOK AT BABY...

DELO: WHY WHATS THE MATTER?

MIDWIFE: HER SKIN, ITS...

*THM looks down and notices all her tit strawberry mouse BPERFECT tan is all over poor bloody Olive*

THM: OH ITS THIS AMAYYYZIN TAN MMKAY, ILL WIPE IT OFF WHEN SHES FINISHED ON MY LEAKING BURGER NIP. DO YOU WANT MY DISCOUNT CODE TO ORDER SOME MMKAY?

*Midwife takes baby’s paperwork and leaves the room*

DELO: KATE THE LADS ARE OUT IN TOWN TONIGHT GERL GONNA GO WET THE BABYS HEAD.

THM: FUCKIN HELL MATT, MMKAY I KNEW THIS WAS COMING, THROWING ME ORANGE JUICE AT ME ON INSTA THE OTHER DAY LIKE A KNOB, LOOKING FED UP AS duck, SUP WITH YA DADDY DIY MMKAY?

*Delo shakes his head and moonwalks out the room all the way to the lift*
Click to expand...
Well that didn’t disappoint 🤣 🤣 we needed that! You are the best!!!!!
 
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Wkdbird

Wkdbird

Dazzle123 said:
I honestly think it was just a lot harder than KHM thought and she’s knackered and worrying now.
Quite normal reactions, I truly believe that nobody is ever actually ready for a baby, you could be the most stable, financially secure couple ever but you’re just not ready for how your life is about to change.
Like I said before I hope all is well, I’m actually the most broody bloke going,So really excited to see the little thing on top of the fact I’ve been invested in all this since like thread three and want nothing more than for me and the Mrs to have a baby but we’re getting married next year so gotta wait a little.

any guesses on middle names as obviously olive is the First name?
Click to expand...
Oil?
Truffle
Bespoke
Mmkay
Troll
Bobby
 
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