Katie Hayes #100 Reasons she’s not engaged, read the Wiki and be amazed

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Whispering Angle

Whispering Angle

pommybear said:
Remember…
1. Using Hollie’s baby scan for her pregnancy announcement 🙄
2. The “adult nappies” she wore after she gave birth to Olive 😂
3. The pot noodle curls which were crusted into place for a week straight 🤢
4. When Maxxy made a break for it to get back to his real ma Danielle and made it onto the Upton Community page
5. When she went to Bicester Village to get a Prada baby bag… never to be seen again 🤔

Never change Kate, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. Here’s to another 100 threads 👏🏻
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Why did she use hollie's scan tho? Why not just use her own? I'm baffled.
 
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Whispering Angle

Whispering Angle

Marshallmum1982 said:
I've died at the handheld thermometer picture 🤣🤣🤣 How did I miss that first time around?!
My fave 3 Truff moments in no particular order-

-Celebrating Earth Day by boasting about all the places she'd travelled too
- Ring door bell with Truff looking like she'd just popped down the offie for some ciggies for Jim Royale
- Her having her photo taken in Strawberry Fields and claiming it to be her best mates garden, then the girl who's Dad owned the land actually commenting🤣

Ooh and also the story from the Tattler who's Dad caught her leaving her dog tit on the ground and her threatening to get her lawyers on him as she knew the landowner, even though it was actually him 🤣🤣
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Omg i 4got all about the dog tit/ land owner incident. That was brilliant.
 
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BettyBeau

BettyBeau

Whispering Angle said:
Why did she use hollie's scan tho? Why not just use her own? I'm baffled.
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Her own scan was probably not gram worthy enough. It’s the same reason she filters her own child as she’s not blonde and tanned enough in real life so Truffle to s puts a filter on her.
 
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Rothsey

Rothsey

gigi_93 said:
What’s everyone’s favourite shout that’s been said on here? Best posts etc? Mine is fruit machine and slab backed angel 😂😂😂
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Hand held thermometer killed me for weeks.

The colonel/Bernie sanders phase (esp Bernie in the car seat)

Every name she’s been called; ZSM, Truffalo, Truffle Tits, Fat Tits, Slab Back Angel, Slab Back, Big Truck, Fruit Machine, Miss Make-Up and of course Bison Fury!!!
(Apologies if I’ve missed any)

You lot bloody kill me. Bloody love you lot! ♥♥
 
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FoxyNasa

FoxyNasa

Remember when she gave us a tutorial about how to brush our teeth with a leccy toothbrush
 
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gossip29

gossip29

Eleanor Abernathy said:
NUMBER 100 TROLLS!! A whole baby century of threads.

Well done to @Eyeofthetiger for the most excellent thread title.
We move..

Our favourite village idiot told us the story of how she’d lost her contact at the back of her eye, despite this being pretty much impossible to do. It was accompanied with the tale of how she’d attempted to get it out which included almost every known way to give yourself an eye infection and stopped short of her popping her eyeball out on the end of a knife to try and retrieve it, leaving us all with the question how can someone so stupid still have teeth? She didn’t update us any further so the poor contact is still probably floating around the almost empty vacuum of her skull, occasionally banging into the three brain cells and the marble that also reside there.

Friday started with a live during which she was extremely excited to let us know that she’d planned a really unusual date night for herself and Deirde Barlow’s hair inspiration. Later that evening with Delo wearing a fantastic pair of blag trainers and Kate dressed as a cross between a hospital porter and the Sheriff of Nottingham, she surprised him with the extremely romantic and private Life and Business seminar hosted by the author of HER favourite audiobook that she’s read twice, James Smith. You lucky, lucky boy Delo. Thought you were off for a free feed and the chance of a legover, but instead you got to spend the night with a thousand other deluded weapons chanting like a group of teenage girls casting a boyfriend spell.

Busy weekend for the North West’s 127th most popular makeup artist as she traumatised another bridal party by painting them like the last survivors of Chernobyl, before performing the ‘last’ of her Maid of Honour duties for her cousin sister best friend, Hollie. You not going the wedding then, Kate? Not content with a Hen night out in Liverpool and a weekend in Ibiza, cousin auntie sister niece was treated to a party in her mum and dad’s mansion (now we know why it was them who paid the Savers money back) with the standard party essentials of the moment - a grazing table that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Louis XIV’s breakfast bar, a ‘DJ’ who spent most of the night filming them in between pressing play on ‘Now That’s What I Call Pretentious Dickheads’, and of course, a failed LIPA student who’s had a couple of saxophone lessons and thinks he’s Duke Ellington. The theme was obviously ‘white’ - Kate is saving her white dress for the actual wedding so went in white and blue, and decided on ‘mermaid’ hair. Looking at the state of it, I can only assume she modelled her look on the Fiji Mermaid. Highlight of the evening was of course Mez’s Bez dancing and Kate (looking somewhat different to the pictures we’d seen only hours earlier) barging everyone out of the way like a walrus after the last sardine at Seaworld. Luckily for the furniture in the house and the eyesight of the guests, she chose not to follow Hollie’s lead and dance on the table...

It’s Monday so of course it’s now time for the traditional ‘you can change your life’ motivational speech as she huffs and puff her way along the street. Despite sounding like Ivor the Engine getting up Moel Famau on her way to the gym, she somehow managed to ‘spirt’ 5k in 21 minutes on the gym’s treadmill. One can only assume the treadmill exists on a different plane of time to the rest of us because no way on God’s Green Earth can she run as quick as Tom Daley. And if, on the off chance that she can, then NASA need to get involved because she’ll be able to be used to deflect comets using her gravitational pull.

In a disturbing turn of events, she once again proved that she’s so dense light bends around her by revealing during a fabricated Q&A response to Tattle event that Mini Matt wants her to have another Caesarean when they manifest their next baby as though it was a loving and caring thing to say. Kate love, your live-in paneller wanting you to be cut open from hip to hip before your organs are shoved to one side and a baby is pulled from you, then for you to be stitched back up and then to be in intense pain for the next 6 weeks is not romantic and caring, it’s weird and quite frankly something you’d hear in the background information in a serial killer podcast. Hard to believe that she beat 10,000,000 other sperm, isn’t it??

Tuesday brought us another pretend gym class that she managed to get to and back quicker than she can run 5k. Desperately trying to sound relatable to those mothers who actually do real work and raise a family, she made a big performance about needing ‘me time’ even though she was child-free and bladdered for most of the weekend. During her ‘me time’ she shocked us all by actually spending her own money for once and buying her daughter some clothes. From Sainsbury’s. In the sale.

And finally, in honour of thread 100, here are my top 10 Truff moments:
  1. Errr Helllloooooo.
  2. The fart.
  3. Going on the bounce and being filmed on the Ring doorbell - ‘We need to have a word about your daughter…’
  4. Being called out on ‘her best friend’s garden’.
  5. Olive being ‘too pure for this cruel world’ until she realised what a little money spinner she was.
  6. The garden rave and propping the car seat up on two patio chairs while she lolloped around the gazebo.
  7. Every time she gets caught out in her mates’ pictures looking completely different to the picture she chose to post.
  8. Moon face in the nursing home window.
  9. The handheld thermometer.
  10. La Prawn.

As always, Read the Wiki..
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Absolutely spectacular as always 👏🏻

AS IF we are on thread 100! Don’t worry truff, it’s definitely us that’s the problem and not you 🙄
 
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Boabs-Tea

Boabs-Tea

gigi_93 said:
What’s everyone’s favourite shout that’s been said on here? Best posts etc? Mine is fruit machine and slab backed angel 😂😂😂
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Did someone not call her a Fiat punto? Or some similar boxy sized car 😂
 
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12055584

12055584

MeOnScreen said:
Couple Delo’s special mentions!
The matching LV outfits
The Dubai dive
The aeroplane first class pic
Robbing peoples insta pics


Oh and one more for KHM, big brown sharks 🦈 💩


How can all this be from just be from the past year and a half 😂😂 it just doesn’t stop does it!?

Been here since no.6 after my nail girl directed me here (had no idea who she was even though I live in Liverpool) and honestly you’ve all got me through lockdown.
Work production has gone down the pan but laughs are well up.
Thanks a lot to you all, you keep me sane 😘 😘
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There’s just so more to add isn’t there! I feel like there’s far worse/funnier stuff thank be
the_moonins said:
My favourite KHM fails:

1) telling her followers that she hasn’t got a problem with drinking alcohol whilst pregnant… then subsequent troll rant posts
2) using someone else’s scan picture to announce her pregnancy
3) when she took her newborn baby to a party/rave after having a c-section and during a pandemic

They’re my top 3… but closely followed by the handheld thermometer (when she put it in Olive’s hand to take her temperature!) and the ring doorbell incident. Brilliant!
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Omg I forgot what pyschopathic behaviour she was on with the scan pic. That still shocks me
 
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Shazblag

Shazblag

Just got lost for half an hour looking back at threads from before I lurked then joined. Found this pic of Delo before he had his Deirdre styling. Thread #50ish He needs to grow a pair and stand up for himself and stop being styled by fat tits.
14A59E36-42F2-4498-90A0-76910078DA18.jpeg
 
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