I'm glad that I've seen this thread as I'm sure my husband is sick of hearing me talk about it
I have a big interest in psychology and it's interesting to me the role that the public/media play into all of this. Especially, the need to have a "good guy" and "villain." It makes me wonder the grey areas that come into play with some of these cases. Sometimes two damaged, toxic people come together and they're both at fault in some way but in the eyes of the public, there's always going to be a winner and loser. On social media, it's so black and white when it comes to this case - at the moment JD is the victim and she's the abuser. I'm glad to have found this thread as it's great to see people here who consider the nuances on both sides!
The "JD didn't abuse his exes therefore he couldn't have done that to AH?" thing really doesn't take into account that perhaps his drug/alcohol habits weren't as bad back then? Or stresses surrounding filming, personal life etc. Vice versa as well mind. Addiction, mental health etc NEVER excuses bad behaviour but can explain it and with proper help and communication, you can deal with these things in a healthy way.
Sorry for the armchair psychology thing here, but AH does sound a lot like someone with unchecked BPD. I have BPD, and while I never got to the point of some of the evidence seen - the "splitting" was horrendous not only for me but for my husband mainly. It's embarrassing to admit, but I did goad my husband to react because him trying to walk away from the issue at hand, was him not wanting to fight for "us" in my eyes. Thankfully I've learned the proper tools so I don't do that anymore and I've learned to regulate my emotions in a more healthy manner.
Another thing that I've thought and haven't seen be mentioned, is the power balance at play. JD is a household name and has been for decades. I've never heard of AH prior to any of this. Not only that, but his age. I'm not against age gap relationships at all, so long as they're legal etc. But it's a factor to take into account, perhaps?
Sorry for the word vomit. I think ultimately they're both damaged individuals, who came from toxic homes and came together and their demons were took out on each other. I'm not team anyone at this point, it might change as things progress. But I do wish that they both get the help and healing that they need.
and the judges reaction to it afterwards.
