Surprised Fakey hasn't done a #ad for them nose strips yet
He started following them so that’s obviously what he’s afterSurprised Fakey hasn't done a #ad for them nose strips yet
I’m pretty sure his name already is. The way he behaves he’s not exactly getting West End gigs is he?I think they claim off the insurance, but his name would be mud thereafter.
He liked chicken…I'm picturing the scene -
Greg Wallace to John Torode - *whispering* "Why's that dickhead taken his top off?"
John Torode - "Fuck knows, mate, but I can smell him from here"
GW - "Well, Jake, what have you made today and why did you choose this particular recipe?"
JQ - " I'm making herby creamy tomto chicken penne and..."
JT (interrupting) - "Is that an empty HelloFresh box in the bin?"
JQ (pouting) - "No. Anyway, mate, as I was saying, I made this peng dish today because my dad died and he really liked chicken. And pasta."
GW - "Oh I'm sorry to hear your father passed away, this must be a difficult time for you"
JQ - "To be honest bruv he died in 2008, I'm doing it for my dead brother mostly though"
JT - "Oh that's terrible, Jake, when did your brother pass?"
JQ - "Twelve years ago bruv. He liked chicken too. I think he liked pasta, can't really remember"
JT and GW exchange glances.
GW - "This is an interesting garnish, Jake, can you talk us through it?"
JQ - "They're CBD gummies bruv, so you chillax while you eat your chicken. Clever, ent it? Use my code JAKE50 for fifty percent off..."
JT - " Jake this is the BBC, advertising isn't allowed"
JQ - " Well that's pretty shit isn't it? Not fair, don't give me grief, I've even had fucking MASTERCHEF 2024 WINNER tattooed on me already, can't you make an exception for me bro?"
GW - "Please stop swearing!"
* some time later*
JT - "We're really impressed with what you've all created here but unfortunately someone will be going home today. That person is.....Jake"
*audible sigh of relief in studio from contestants and crew*
Cameraman to production runner *whispers* "Thank fuck for that, he fucking stinks and those turkey teef keep causing a glare when I'm filming"
JQ - "That's not fucking right, bruv! Why you booting me off? You paid me to do this, you gotta get your money's worth mate! What if I gave you all my HelloFresh discount codes? Or a blow job?"
Production Manager (on walkie talkie) - "Security to studio 5, please. Immediately"
I'm picturing the scene -
Greg Wallace to John Torode - *whispering* "Why's that dickhead taken his top off?"
John Torode - "Fuck knows, mate, but I can smell him from here"
GW - "Well, Jake, what have you made today and why did you choose this particular recipe?"
JQ - " I'm making herby creamy tomto chicken penne and..."
JT (interrupting) - "Is that an empty HelloFresh box in the bin?"
JQ (pouting) - "No. Anyway, mate, as I was saying, I made this peng dish today because my dad died and he really liked chicken. And pasta."
GW - "Oh I'm sorry to hear your father passed away, this must be a difficult time for you"
JQ - "To be honest bruv he died in 2008, I'm doing it for my dead brother mostly though"
JT - "Oh that's terrible, Jake, when did your brother pass?"
JQ - "Twelve years ago bruv. He liked chicken too. I think he liked pasta, can't really remember"
JT and GW exchange glances.
GW - "This is an interesting garnish, Jake, can you talk us through it?"
JQ - "They're CBD gummies bruv, so you chillax while you eat your chicken. Clever, ent it? Use my code JAKE50 for fifty percent off..."
JT - " Jake this is the BBC, advertising isn't allowed"
JQ - " Well that's pretty shit isn't it? Not fair, don't give me grief, I've even had fucking MASTERCHEF 2024 WINNER tattooed on me already, can't you make an exception for me bro?"
GW - "Please stop swearing!"
* some time later*
JT - "We're really impressed with what you've all created here but unfortunately someone will be going home today. That person is.....Jake"
*audible sigh of relief in studio from contestants and crew*
Cameraman to production runner *whispers* "Thank fuck for that, he fucking stinks and those turkey teef keep causing a glare when I'm filming"
JQ - "That's not fucking right, bruv! Why you booting me off? You paid me to do this, you gotta get your money's worth mate! What if I gave you all my HelloFresh discount codes? Or a blow job?"
Production Manager (on walkie talkie) - "Security to studio 5, please. Immediately"
Even chazza managed to shove her way in to oneSurprised they haven't been gifted Taylor Swift tickets for Liverpool, what with him being a massive star ...
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They probably would have tried grifting tickets for London (without any successSurprised they haven't been gifted Taylor Swift tickets for Liverpool, what with him being a massive star ...
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Gormless.Wiki Ref: 03/06/24
Poor Leo does not know where the hell he is. He looks so vacant. Why can't Jake just greet him without filming it? Oh yes, he had to film it to show everybody that he had gone to the airport.
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He'll have one ready now & scheduled to post in the morningSo what time do we think he’ll do his first Fathers Day post/story tomorrow? Not sure about the time but I’m saying it will be within 5 mins of him waking up
You just know Leo is spending his Saturday night getting ordered about by Fakey to get the Insta perfect Father’s Day reel.He'll have one ready now & scheduled to post in the morning
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