OMG I remember when this was first advertised! Not far from me at all I asked someone just earlier what it was like he said load of shite… here you go..
Not even headlining & a 30min setView attachment 2982730
30 mins actual ‘work’. Funny when he’s on TV for 2 mins, he shares it constantly but notably silent today. Wait til Soccer Aid tomorrow. Again he’ll be all over it. If nothing it proves he believes gigs like today are now beneath him
The wrinkles are wrinklingSpotted in the wild! Not making much noise about his day of work is he?
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So is he on his way home as well for Soccer Aid tomorrow? So he’s drove in total 10 hours for half an hour of singing?
Festival.... is that why he bought that tent ?Living his best life
I laughed so loud I woke the dog up and my mum nearly spilt her teaAs the weather isI thought it’s about time I wrote another ode about fakey
Old fakey I see is still being a knob
Telling everyone he off to a job
Crap looking breakfast and no runny egg
Off to annoy someone or maybe to beg
Him being a pro footballer in a distant past
Like everything else it obviously didn’t last
He arrives at noon at the football ground
Looking for someone just to hound
Wonder if he will say “make some noise”
Only for attention from some young boys
A charity match all in a good cause
Him hoping it will open some jobbing doors
We are waiting for his master chef debut
Bet everything he cooked was absolute poo
His whole boring life is like Groundhog Day
No work or sponsors are willing to pay
He might do better if he admits to being gay
I’m sure other will then show him the way
But for now he will carry on pretending
Often annoying and being offending
A wife he takes out for an occasional outing
Every photo she looks boring and pouting
One child that’s disruptive and still pissing
The other child that constantly missing
Mortgage and bills mounting day by day
Doing this and that with very little pay
Both seem lazy and deluded as duck
Constantly sitting in a house full of muck
Any real work he gets is now very rare
Bet the sad bastard thinks this isn’t fair
Looking a Pratt whilst doing a dance
He still thinks he is in with a chance
People with personalities will win every time
Other people seem to be doing just fine
Start acting like your actual age
Look after your family without any rage
Both your sons look frightened with you
Then maybe people will be kinder too
It’s hard being a parent and spouse as well
But others manage it but they don’t tell
Your whole miserable life isn’t doing great
Everyone you meet doesn’t think it just fate
Non of these people want to be your mate
Also bringing out the dead is now to late
You had plenty of time when they were here
But you couldn’t be bothered to be near
You seem to be ugly inside and out
Still a work shy fucker with absolute nowt
I can only assume that you must be thick
As people you meet they think you’re a dick
The expression on their faces tells us all
They cannot stand being near such a fool
But carry on being an absolute prick
Gives us tattlers the absolute
Well that’s Ed Sheeran quaking in his boots - not!Fakeys, I bloody tried! Bear in mind I'm almost deaf without hearing aids
Seems he's written a song about his first girlfriend and how he wishes he could rewind. That must be nice for Flapz to hear. Not.
Tosser.
You were my first kiss
Because when we held hands
Then you met my mum
You even met my dad
He's not around now
It makes me so sad
It's crazy with the world we're living in
I loved you so much
But we were just so young
Spent so many summers
BATHING IN HEAT SONG???
CAN'T MAKE OUT NEXT COUPLE OF LINES
Did I mention
Where did it all go wrong?
'Cos I miss those times
Can we rewind
Back in the better days
CAN'T MAKE OUT THE LAST FEW LINES AT ALL
What a scruffy looking bleep he is 
Normally whenever he gets tagged in a photo, he shares it on his stories, wonder why he hasn’t with this one 
Now just hoping there’s some footage out there to find today, of him doing his ‘performance’ 
hahaha he’s failed the festival vibeHe got a picture taken with the star of the show by the looks of this
Why is he so ashamed of doing stuff like this? He should be so grateful that he even gets anything.It’s just another reason to dislike him. It shows how deluded he is, the fact he really believes that these type of gigs are beneath him. So funny he’s still having to do them thoughhahaha he’s failed the festival vibe
Yet he will be showing his woeful “presenting” in the car park today! I hope he’s secretly dreading it, imagine having to watch Sam play football with all the real celebs
