A recipe in the style of Jack Monroe.. Ahem..
While chilling a frying pan, slice an onion with a pizza cutter.
Pop on a scuba diving mask in the case of onion eye wets, pair it with something denim and the blue of the Aegean at sunrise.
I saw this during a holiday I never took anywhere in the Mediterranean.
Find a clove of garlic not too fat, not too thin but one that has sprouted slightly.
Ponder wistfully whether the green bit within is poisonous as you beat it lightly with the heel of a £100 running shoe to release the flavour.
Add this to the pan with some oil, Vegetable, Olive, Sump, they are all the same.
Turn on the heat.
Fill a separate pan with water and enough kosher salt to be able to float in it while reading a newspaper and add the pasta you specifically don't want to eat.
As soon as the garlic starts to smell slightly burnt but the onion is still uncooked, add chopped Chorizo (CHO-REE-THO).
I had some of this in a Tapas bar on a holiday I never took in Marbella.
Stir up the pasta until it gets gloopy. Drain.
Mix everything together in your ugliest crockery.
Grab a fistful of Parsley, Coriander or Grass, they are all the same.
Throw it at the dish like your Nan doing her Stroke physiotherapy and serve with one chopstick.
