Jack Monroe #98 Thoroughly Naff

[Lanie]

She is definitely the sort of person you just look at and think why are you such a massive dick.

lockdown larder will be another massive fail and she really should be doing her 20 pound tin shops more than ever now because people will be buying that tit due to their money being cut right down so close to Christmas.

complete Wally.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I love that you found that!

I actually got it from one of the earlier threads - it was @Ellabella who originally posted it! Sorry, should have credited it properly in the first place.

 

[Silver Linings]

Sneaky cow.

 

[AmTellinYa]

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I thought Wilko had been boycotted on the basis of how they treated their staff during the last lockdown? I'm sure I remember our dear heart composing a list of bad retailers to avoid?

Keep up with your lies FFS you stupid woman.

Wasn't Wilkos fecked out of it when it turned out they weren't paying their staff.
She started a list of shops to avoid, Wetherspoons etc...

I knew I didn't dream it

 

[Silver Linings]

Your hilarious, totally true, ‘joke’ that you thought up in the queue has worked out either way, hasn’t it? The raaaage.

ETA -

 

[Flumps]

"ambient foods" - who does she think she is or who does she think she's talking to? Showing off that she can talk in supermarket lingo. twit.

I was just wandering around Asda (I keep on brand) on the phone to my other half and said 'Just trying to find the ambient foods aisle' and he took the piss out of the use of 'ambient'. Probably rightly, though in my defence I work for a company that means that word pops up more often in my day-to-day life than it does for most people. It's clearly not standard issue.

 

[Cookiecookie]

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‘The kid’.

I'm guilty of this, but mainly to stop myself writing her actual name.

 

[Silver Linings]

Weasel.

 

[AmTellinYa]

"ambient foods" - who does she think she is or who does she think she's talking to? Showing off that she can talk in supermarket lingo. twit.

Are you not aware of her body of work?
She used to fold towels in a supermarket and was SEVERELY excellent at it. In Jack World that makes her a retail expert.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack doing a 'joke' about pasta somehow manages to turn into The Bell Jar

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

She been on the disco biscuits?

Perhaps that's what the 'Ambient Food' is about.
What we used to call 'come down munch' Jack calls ambient food because of the old Restuarant Parlance!

 

[Lanie]

Also I have never came across a person who is so "woke" yet so far behind.

People in the last lockdown barely watched her shows I think it worked out as a small percentage of her followers if it was on TV it would have been pulled for good due to bad ratings.

She needs to think up something new really... She keeps repeating the same old tired tit.

 

[PoorPatrol]

All I have to say, post-grunk, is that she’s still a soulless witch.

Also - when did she have a Great Dane?? Where does it fit into the poverty timeline? Has anyone heard mention of it before?

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Uncle Jack.. 'During the Great Poverty in 2020...'
SB.... "Ah, tit, she's off! Come on kids, wheel Nanna back to the day room and we'll get going.."

 

[Scarletfever]

I'm scared because I don't actually know what ambient food is, I'm liking all the tweets making jokes about it just to fit in (will ask my 280k followers now, I mean I will google it)

Things I really can't stand on social media: parents using kids for content and people who write about random strangers doing things for content.

Just queue up and buy your tit and stop trying to go viral, you bellend (with apologies to @Silver Linings )

 

[FrumpyCat]

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And (if they exist) they might just be a selfish bleep.

ETA: and if it was for an 'autistic person who only eats pasta' you would have a massive stock at home already. Plus, the (imaginary) autistic person would probably refuse any pasta in an unfamiliar shape, so buying 3 packets of everything in stock would be pointless.

ETA again for someone who claims to be autistic, she seems to know remarkably little about it.

 

[Veronicaaa]

And (if they exist) they might just be a selfish bleep.

PLOT TWIST: It was Jack all along.

 

[Pocahontas]

Oh dear, old chap - your rapier wit concerning the proles and their pasta did not go down as you’d hoped. Best shut up and take yourself down to the butcher for some prime cuts, what what?

 

[Emmapism]

The problem with Jack's 'wry humour' is that it isn't actually humour. Like any of her attempts. So it goes down as well as a fart in a spacesuit. If she was at all self aware she would realise this.