Jack Monroe #78 All of your food is brown

[Tabitha D]

I wonder if the supermarket staff recognise her for her fame and chuckle to themselves regarding her new routine of hovering over the reduced section.

I wonder if the 10p putrid stir-fry veg was the result of a bet - to see if Jack will, in fact, buy any old shite.

She has *completely missed* the point which her follower was making about rural poverty and lack of access to supermarkets. Instead, she’s only answered the question as it applies to her.
She should be aware of this stuff. FGS isn’t she supposed to be writing a book about food poverty?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Exactly. It’s a load of rubbish. In my, admittedly far less experience than JM, of visiting high-end places, customer service is a huge part of their offering and a key part of that is not making anyone who doesn’t rock up in top and tails feel shite. What would be the answer to, ‘Do you know how much this costs, Madam?’ ‘Yep, elitist motherfucker, £2,980 - now parcel it up and tuck it behind my ridiculous mouse ears....I bid you Good Day!’

Yes! Also those prices points are considered purchases (maybe not for JM...) so they understand their retail presence is as much a show room for people to come & check items out, to then buy online or in sale, as it is an immediate point of sale? Whenever I’ve gone in anywhere and asked to see something I’ve explained I’m not looking to buy today just wanted to see xyz as conscious of wasting their time, and they’re always happy for you to try on they don’t just shoo you out like vermin under a blackberry bush! Tbh maybe if she gets spoken to like a cunt it’s because of how she speaks to people herself

 

[Silver Linings]

It’s so obvious that she’s going for that friday feeling we all get when you want to veg out a bit and maybe have a little supper. But she goes too far the other way and has Vicar of Dibley’d two dinners and is trying to get everyone salivating at the idea of leeks on toast.

Leeks

Toast

Leeks on toast

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Veronicaaa]

If I found a lost scarf (half buried in the mud) I may brush off the dried on mud and put a notice on FB sites etc but am not sure I'm altruistic enough to get it specialist dry cleaned before doing so....

I'm just amazed our favourite poverty activist didn't give it to one of the homeless people she meets at one of the soup kitchens she so regularly volunteers at #notveryaltruistic

 

[instacharlie]

View attachment 255828
People are still offering her things and she’s ever so sanctimoniously telling them to give them away and she would hate to think of things going to her instead of others.

I've got a great money saving hack. Leave the large, detached house in an affluent area. You've already started you can't afford it on your own.
Find a nice affordable 2 bed terrace.
Sell all of the expensive, excessive crap.
Job done!

 

[bazzam]

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no gruka lunkering required by @Jack_M. she is reading in real time.

Hi Jack. Hope you are not too cold today. top tip line your clothes with old newspapers to cut down on the gas bill and wear the burberry all times even in your crappy bungalow.

 

[lilamay]

Coconut milk wasn't on the receipts.

Yss but she grew it in her garden and milked it herself, so it doesn't count.

 

[Scarletfever]

Was there milk on that original shopping list as well? Does small/big boy not have milk still?

She mentioned she gets it delivered.

I have 2 SBs and it's really important to me that it is not glossed over how hungry growing kids are. It costs a lot to not have them hungry. It's like she's actively trying to demonstrate that kids can live on bare minimum nutritionally deficient rations.

I just don't understand why, except that her need for attention overwhelms all rational thought.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I've always been intrigued by her tattoos, because they are pretty shite and she acquired them over an exceedingly brief period. I know dozens of heavily tattooed people, and none of them have covered both arms in such a short time without moving on to other body parts. Just an observation and not making any sort of judgment (apart from of course on her lack of taste when choosing designs/artists).

It’s all for image. I’ve heard some tattoo artists a joke that originally people would get tattoos on areas that could be hidden, these days it seems to be the most visible places, arms, hands, neck etc. Unfortunately no one told Jack that tattoos don’t compensate for personality.

 

[gotohell]

"it feels good to be back" as if she's not been tweeting ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

 

[Emmapism]

Because she knows we know, and she is worried the flying monkeys, I.e her Cash cow’s will find out. She keeps an eye on us so she can try and head us off at the pass, if she thinks we are going to expose her.

Exactly this. Because if all Tattle is is 'a hateful little group' then why would you care so much? Why would you read here every day? Why would you write thinly veiled tweets directed at us but never mention us?

If we were so truly off the mark, all the time, you wouldn't.

And deleting huge chunks of your internet output just makes you look like you've got stuff to hide. Which you do. Because you're full of shit and playing at poverty to get people to fund your middle class lifestyle.

(Plenty of my middle class friends rent too Jack, sorry to break it to you)

 

[Harrybosch]

CABAL I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE!

So today I went to Jack’s (the supermarket) and picked up this leaflet - “5 family lunches for under £15”. Thought it might have some good meal ideas for me in it, and honestly I did think I’d be showing you all how their budget-friendly ideas were so much better than Mackies.

Then I looked inside.

You will not believe it fraus. Every single meal contains sausages.

The shopping list for this budget-friendly week of meals calls for you to buy FIVE PACKS of sausages and cook EIGHT SAUSAGES PER NIGHT. Granted, they suggest proper Lincolnshire pork sausages, not the bollock variety, but still. The name Jacks, the budget ideas, and the excess of sausages - too many coincidences not to share with you all.

I'm genuinely quite horrified by this. How can anyone promote five dinners all based on sausages? It's insane. I'm sure our Jack was their consultant. It's the only explanation that makes sense.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Wonder what the dear hearts who propose crowd funding her a property think when they see her in undeniably expensive items of clothing?

If one day she does manage it she will just say “the house, oh I tripped over it, just been left lying around”

 

[Professor Slop]

Lads! Update! She *found* the Burberry scarf! It was half buried in mud!

Genuinely thought this was a piss take. Surely no one would say that and expect to be believed?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Is jack there?

I searched by name, and she is mentioned, .... someone saying "local author has new book". The post got.....one like

 

[HarderFaster]

View attachment 255521

Harry Leslie Smith is DEAD.

p.s. nice one there: not even bothering to spell his name correctly, Jack.

 

[lilamay]

She's just started following this person on twitter and I couldn't help but notice this in their bio

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

It's like something out of a James bond.

The name's Monroe, Slop Monroe. Are you familiar with my body of work? I have a license to blend.

 

[Morrisey]

People who describe leeks as bigger alliums than spring onions are utter sardine swill.