Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

[Fitnessqueen]

Massively speedy grunka before work (I’m BUSY). With the tooled up mice, the stuffed fox, the postman, and Brenda’s dick sausages all you Frau have really made me snort and hoot on a bit of a miserable morning. And massive hugs to those touched by the C - my boys lost their dad a couple of months ago (we were divorced but good friends) and he was only in his fifties.

Now fuck off x

 

[Froggies]

Jack Monroe #77: Oh My Christ Brenda!



The gif, the photo, the comments.perfection. You are a funny bunch of Fraus. I have genuinely been crying with laughter

 

[Veronicaaa]

She lost over 100 followers yesterday - over 1,000 since she reactivated on Sunday.

 

[Montrachet]

Then she showed the sausages to the pan and they said, ‘Get to absolute fuck, I am not getting in there like.’

They are pan fried. And the pan is cold and still in the cupboard

Whilst we await Jack's next scathing essay, 'We need to talk about Brenda's sausages. Now.' - it appears word has reached the Linton Travel Tavern.

 

[Silver Linings]

Fuck off Jack. You’re dying for this to gain traction. You plonker.

Also. TMI!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Cant find the original post about scaremongering, but 100% that. It’s all very well and good using the fear of vulnerable pregnant women to make a point, but there are people who will be distressed about their upcoming labours reading these tweets. I feel the same about black cab drivers and their sudden interest in rape culture that begins & ends with uber drivers who just happen to be cannibalising their trade If your activism begins & ends at alarming people to further your ends then it’s trash and you’re a cunt.

Also wouldn’t it be sufficient to just say siblings birthday or family birthdays, why has she got to doxx a child? She’s grotesque. I’d pay to be in step mum’s girls WhatsApp groups she must go fucking IN

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Fuck me!
If you circumcise a sausage does it make it kosher?

 

[Emmapism]

Hi all, I’ve been lurking for a while after grunkaing most of the DKL threads early in August, and the famous thread #31. In fact I lurk every day now, you’re all so fucking entertaining and have given me distraction when I’ve needed it most recently. Finally made an account I want to post under as it feels anonymous enough - I can’t remember who it was in a recent thread who suggested this username and I really hope you don’t mind me using it, but thank you for it very Matt much. I love it.

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself, as you were fraus xo

I have never been so happy to say anything in my entire life......

Welcome @BollockSausage

 

[blurstoftimes]

What a mental picture!View attachment 251036
And this bullshit again. View attachment 251038

do families of mice live in blackberry brambles outside of beatrix potter books?

 

[Billybellend]

Found this in the comments under her 'ultimate lasagne' recipe.

View attachment 251681

View attachment 251682

View attachment 251683
Excuses, excuses.

She lost FULL USE of her hands at 29? Let’s just contemplate that for a second. Full. Use.

Jimmy? Jimmy?

She tweets an awful lot for someone who basically lost the use of her hands two years ago

Great minds!!

 

[Bookweevil]

Ooh I wonder what JM would see if she looked into the Mirror of Erised, revealing her true heart's desire?

 

[Formal Chicken]

Not an ouchy mouth again....

at the risk of being I am a health care professional and as everyone has already said being an alcoholic doesn’t give you a bad mouth. As with drug addicts (not suggesting she is one!) hygiene takes a back seat to the addiction and oral hygiene in particular slips.

don’t even get me started of the popping her pills in little tubs. So many issues, one being there is a child in the house who could easily access them

 

[HarderFaster]

LOVE THE RECEIPTS! £30k in the nineties is a looooot of money now. Oh Jackie what a shame your dad did the media bits before you could

Her dad is in the media a lot, isn't he?! Like both in his capacity as a firefighter and a foster carer. He's definitely got an appetite for it, plenty of people have significant professional and community roles and you never hear a peep about them.

Apple hasn't fallen far from the tree on the attention seeking, I suppose.

 

[Scarletfever]

She has replied to squiggle who asked about the wisdom of eating carcinogenic meat.

I just have no words. Sorry.

 

[Billybellend]

She is actually pretty tackless in her tweets to people, my dad died of cancer more than likely lifestyle related. I don't think he was sitting in his final days going ok this is shit, but oh well. he knew is lifestyle was to blame but he still wished he had made better choices.

He was actually pretty devastated to be told he had six months to live as he was only in his fifties and had alot of living still to do.

She can be quite heartless in her little thoughtless comments.

Sorry I had to edit his age as I put it wrong as I was upset.

The ‘live for today and shovel whatever shit you want into your body’ ethos is pretty appalling from someone who’s meant to be making delicious, nutritious, low budget recipes for people who are barely scraping by. I’m so sorry to hear of all of your losses, Fraus. I lost one of my best mates to the big C very recently (especially brutal in these times), he left us far too young. I can’t really say much more about it because I’m struggling massively with the grief, but my big old hairy heart goes out to you all.

Also....wtf was that bowel glue she served with the sausages?? Polenta and instant mash? Isn’t she meant to be part Irish? Ffs, buy a POTATO, woman.

 

[Upthisweek]

She is utterly incapable of saying sorry, I messed up. Jackie, dear heart, try it some time. It's what people want to hear when you've messed them about. Not your excuses.

If she has severe arthritis in her hands, how is the punch bag of use to her? The boxing fraternity all say that bag training is a contributory factor to arthritis? More tales Jackie.....

 

[Bugger13]

I’ll post the whole thing, for your reading pleasure.

I’m proud of you, Fraus - she addresses the “five a day” fiasco. Except there’s no way there’s even 70g of kale in there.

Sausage, Bacon & Many-Veg Casserole, 39p

For many reasons, I am returning to a very strict groceries budget for the foreseeable future. Yesterday I went to the supermarket – in two separate trips, as I was on foot with a backpack &#…

cookingonabootstrap.com

‘For many reasons...’
‘Tattle spotted my £300 sentient mirror & I’m worried my patreons might realise I’m not poor’.
Or ‘tattle si všiml mého vnímajícího zrcadla 300 liber a obávám se, že by si moji patroni mohli uvědomit, že nejsem chudý’ (Czech)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

If she does get a dental appointment the first thing they are going to ask is - have you had any symptoms of coronavirus recently

 

[Ninch55]

ShEs aUtISTiC sO FaCTs aRE ImPoRTanT

I’m autistic and she’s a twat

 

[crystaleyesd]

Hahahaha when was the last time even a shiterag scraped her tweets?? The David Walliams pile on? Honey, nobody cares about your bland-ass lib dem views

Also interesting she specifically uses the narc term 'flying monkeys'.