Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

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I'm Northern Irish and I absolutely LOVE instant mash when I'm ill or just feeling like a lazy bitch but it is expensive. This one is the best

 
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Apologies fraus that I am behind on p18, but I have got an ouchy mouth, I have an abscess under a tooth and have had to come home from work as the pain is so great. 2 hours of root canal work tomorrow to sort it out
you could try a slick of red lipstick? Recommended by a lady doctor x

Or burst out crying when she encountered a full on psycho 'the customer is ALWAYS right' person who lives to make retail workers lives hell.
Reader, she IS that customer

I'm Northern Irish and I absolutely LOVE instant mash when I'm ill or just feeling like a lazy bitch but it is expensive. This one is the best

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Look at the way Eamonn is judging you for it
 
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This will be Jack's next hairdo... I'm convinced. She's going to go full Karen/I'd like to speak to a manager.
 
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I cannot stand the way she writes her recipes - especially when she describes say, a pea risotto as a 'pea, onion, garlic and chicken stock risotto'.
I have just made a flour, butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, milk, jam, with butter and icing sugar buttercream filling cake.

You don't need to mention the whole list of ingredients in the recipe title Jackie Dearest.
 
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To be fair to Jack, Brenda clearly hadn’t followed the instructions. No way have those sausages been in the oven for 40 minutes unless the thing was switched off.
Aha but! To be fair to Brenda, Jack's actual recipe doesn't say to put them in the oven for 40 minutes (she only did that because she wouldn't see fit eat the sausages herself, just feed them to her son). The actual recipe kind of boils the sausages in the bisto gravy/baked bean/lard mix.
 
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Oh God, poor Brenda

 
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Don't forget her miracle use of the water rower! Why would you even bother buying a rowing machine if you don't have any grip or use of your hands? That would just make it a slidey seat machine!
I was thinking this. While rowing is an exercise for legs and glutes - you certainly need grip for the last phase of the stroke. Yup I rowed at uni and socially for the last 10 years (even raced at Henley FANCY)
 
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Go Simone
 
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To be fair to Jack, Brenda clearly hadn’t followed the instructions. No way have those sausages been in the oven for 40 minutes unless the thing was switched off.
Then she showed the sausages to the pan and they said, ‘Get to absolute fuck, I am not getting in there like.’
 
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That was so annoying. Always the bloody victim-even more sorry someone complained-they should have quietly donated it somewhere despite the fact they’re your customer?
Ever seen Jack just quietly have a word behind the scenes when she’s feeling hard done by-like when the lights went off on her train or when Jamie got a job she wanted or when she thought social distancing wasn’t good enough on the train etc etc
It’s always one rule for victim jack & one rule for the rest of the world.
 
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