Jack Monroe #68 Take a day off mate, seriously

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If she had fourteen layers of concealer there would be an actual shelf of concealer sitting on her skin.

Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe she’s Jackie M.
 
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So strange, my friend and I were just talking about this the other day the new found Judaism in the Scottish Jack!!
 
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She’s probably just going to repeat one of her guardian bits, or some other well worn Gumpf, doubt she has actually put the time/effort In for a new piece.
my five choices for bingo (late to the party I know, I’ve been BUSY)

‘more bread and jam, mummy’
‘Unscrewed the lightbulbs’
‘Turned off the fridge’
‘Open house sale’
‘walked miles in the rain’

Now absolutely get fucked x
 
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She'll read potatoes in the style of Joey Tribbiani reading 'My baby you'll be'
 
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I don't want to exaggerate like a certain someone but I'm pretty sure I just got whiplash caused by the abrupt halt thread #52 came to.

Enjoyed the age/show size chat like your feet get bigger or smaller as you get older!

Also the chat about the Omega watch/no house or keys for her 21st... my mum took me to the Harvester for tea for mine
 
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How does one cover glittery eyeshadow with 14 layers of concealer? How come she didn't use just 3 layers?
 
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Gawd love us, that was one hell of a Grunking I just went on (#65-68)

From what I can gather, Jack's castle of lies began to crumble down around her, with Louisa "vividly" recalling Jack's claim that she had invented Healthy Choice vouchers. Rather than stop this misunderstanding from getting out of hand... she headbutted the sink.

Unfortunately the bruise wasn't developing as gruesomely as she'd hoped, so she cracked out the highlighter.

Furious that both Tattle and Twitter alike were openly pissing themselves laughing at her terrible blending, she huffed down to A&E to waste their precious time and resources, knowing damn well that anyone rocking up claiming concussion would have to be given a full array of tests regardless of it being obviously made up.

Sharing some photographs of the interior of a hospital, she was sure everyone would now believe the shimmering eye. Alas, we ain't a bunch of idiots Jacques, and were still suspicious of her unlikely story. "Conspiracy wankers!" she cried, turning her back to the camera "I'll not show you my face again for many days."
 
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