Jack Monroe #64 One hand refreshing Twitter, and the other one playing the piano

BeautifulTrauma · Aug 27, 2020

That business card has me HOOTING

It’s a misaligned picture of a heavily tattooed hand holding a posy of flowers. She’s sending things like she’s a little Etsy shop yet didn’t even send a packet of Haribo with the order. And the AUTOGRAPH. Who does she actually think she is?

Saying that I’d pay good money for Celery, Edinburgh.

HarderFaster · Aug 27, 2020

Silver Linings said:
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Oh I dunno, I can think of better things to get in the post!

Lol is that blue distressed wood the Hellmann's filming backdrop that they delivered to her for a bit of brand continuity and have just never bothered to pick up because they can't even look her in the eye anymore? Good that she's repurposed her abject failure into another money-making scheme.

I'd be ashamed to publicise that I spend my hard-earned money on wank like that awful photo tbh. Howling at her faux-modest little signature in pride of place on the wonky frame.

Petelgeuse · Aug 27, 2020

IndigoStar said:
I could see her doing 60 minute make-over. Let's call it 60 minute Jackover.

"Right you lot. You've got ONE SEVERE HOUR to donate as much as you can. If you ~~shan't~~ can't send cash, then send goods. Now FUCK OFF"

"A piss and a sandwich - UK service stations rated by Jack Monroe"

Lanie · Aug 27, 2020

MooBelle said:
I've no doubt that her sudden flurry of output/involvement with Patreon was because of us.
Those poor saps have been fleeced and we started REALLY looking into it. She reads on here (hi Jack ) and gets a bit panicky because what she is doing is fraudulent and she could get in real shit. Taking money from people and not delivering goods in return is illegal. It also began to dawn on her that there are zero work offers coming through, although in her narcissistic brain she has no clue as to why.
Although her existing Patreon, tip jar, DKL, TM and Hellmans pennies all earning her thousands during quarantine she is still without her latest Ofjack to pay half the bills.
She ramps up the Patreon pity party and gets new schmucks to contribute and realises that she's got to start actually fucking doing something.
Cue lots of messages and notifications 'please bear with us' and actually started sending out a couple of shitty postcards (not sure if anyone signed up to the tier which you had to cook all the recipes at your own expense and she never credited you)

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it...how is this legal? I just don't understand

Christ, don't give her ideas!!! She'll have a bloody Amazon gift list by the end of the week!!!

My mate told me the other day the girl I told you about who's very like JM actually put her Amazon wishlist on sm. I couldn't believe it my own wishlist is full but I havent shared it with anyone. It's more like my own personal shopping list for things I intend want to get eventually.

I don't know about you guys but I prefer my presents to be a surprise. I like it when the person has actually thought of me and not exjust got me something because I asked for it. I won't even tell my husband what to buy me for chrostmas. I give him ideas and let him do the rest.

Alansbigplate · Aug 27, 2020

Silver Linings said:
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Oh I dunno, I can think of better things to get in the post!

That business card has me HOOTING with the standard Jackie intro

Captainmouse · Aug 27, 2020

LavaFlake said:
It's really bugging me how the left hand side of the picture is slightly out of the frame! Like at least line up your picture properly!

She probably thinks it’s arty farty

Uberrima fides · Aug 27, 2020

Anonymousone said:
(but would, of course, solve no cases because she couldn’t be arsed & had no skills).

A bit like her cooking really.

JoyceDivision · Aug 27, 2020

Silver Linings said:
Oh I dunno, I can think of better things to get in the post!

A dog turd on fire, for instance.

Captainmouse · Aug 27, 2020

Veronicaaa said:
Isn't [FOOD WRITER. BLOGGER. AUTHOR] 4 words to describe the same thing?

Saw this tweet and it reminded me of Jack (and yes, I know, she RENTS, but still).

Scammer

Toffee finger · Aug 27, 2020

Another one HOOTING at that business card! Classic JM

Pocahontas · Aug 27, 2020

Toffee finger said:
Another one HOOTING at that business card! Classic JM

She was probably gutted you couldn’t fit the whole kit and caboodle on there.
‘I want it to say: Food writer, author, blogger, photographer, author, singer, concert pianist, ex-fire service call handler, book reviewer, poet, Ruby Rose’s stand-in, accidentally conquering my fears ...’
...
‘What do you mean, you can’t fit that all on a standard-sized business card?’

Lanie · Aug 27, 2020

BeautifulTrauma said:
That business card has me HOOTING

It’s a misaligned picture of a heavily tattooed hand holding a posy of flowers. She’s sending things like she’s a little Etsy shop yet didn’t even send a packet of Haribo with the order. And the AUTOGRAPH. Who does she actually think she is?

Saying that I’d pay good money for Celery, Edinburgh.

I have a photograph and autograph from both the cheeky girls.( My dad got me it) I don't think it's worth much if I were to sell it on, perhaps this person will have more luck.

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 224485 View attachment 224486
Oh I dunno, I can think of better things to get in the post!

Looks like she spilt ink on that business card at the printers.

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 224485 View attachment 224486
Oh I dunno, I can think of better things to get in the post!

Looks like she spilt ink on that business card at the printers.

Toffee finger · Aug 27, 2020

Pocahontas said:
She was probably gutted you couldn’t fit the whole kit and caboodle on there.
‘I want it to say: Food writer, author, blogger, photographer, author, singer, concert pianist, ex-fire service call handler, book reviewer, poet, Ruby Rose’s stand-in, accidentally conquering my fears ...’
...
‘What do you mean, you can’t fit that all on a standard-sized business card?’

I’m surprised she didn’t hand write them with really tiny writing and a magnifying glass like the boy in Goodnight Mister Tom when he writes his postcards!

FreeSquirrels · Aug 27, 2020

MancBee said:
My sister was terrified of water as a child. When she had kids they loved swimming but she always made excuses not to go with her husband and kids to the baths. They knew she couldn't swim and teased her relentlessly.

Unbeknownst to them she had lessons, as a gift to herself for her 40th. The kids had arranged to go to the baths on a Saturday, she made the usual excuse of needing to go shopping. Imagine their surprise when they got in the baths to see her swimming away like a good un.

A friend of mine did the same, she had secret swimming lessons and then shocked her family by diving off a board & swimming a length. She was in her early 50s and her parents hadn’t had the money or time when she was young.

Tabitha D · Aug 27, 2020

Oofadoofa said:
So in the middle of a career nosedive she can just hop onto a successful campaign created by someone much more famous than herself, and what receive acclaim for the massive effort of doing retweets?
If Monroe really just wanted to let Rashford ‘get on with it’ she’d send him the notes anyway, without any fuss or attention. But no, the ultimate aim is always the same - self promotion. She’d hijack the whole fucking thing and make it all about her...

Also, I genuinely don’t think she has any useful “research” or “notes” on poverty which she can pass on. Her only reference point is herself, and her own (probably exaggerated) experience of several years ago. The world’s moved on from then, plus there’s the pandemic and the issues which that throws up. I’ve not seen anything to suggest Jack has engaged with any of this.

BlendedSlop · Aug 27, 2020

Please tell me that business card has her Patreon details on the reverse side

blurstoftimes · Aug 27, 2020

Tabitha D said:
Also, I genuinely don’t think she has any useful “research” or “notes” on poverty which she can pass on. Her only reference point is herself, and her own (probably exaggerated) experience of several years ago. The world’s moved on from then, plus there’s the pandemic and the issues which that throws up. I’ve not seen anything to suggest Jack has engaged with any of this.

I honestly don't know how she's managed to re-hash her poverty story without scrutiny so many times over the years - its like she has stolen a screenplay directly from Ken Loach. She also has never ever spoken about poverty and intersectionality, either because she's not interested in a perspective that acknowledges her privilege OR she's just not intelligent enough to see the nuance. Maybe both?

Walkdengirl · Aug 27, 2020

blurstoftimes said:
I honestly don't know how she's managed to re-hash her poverty story without scrutiny so many times over the years - its like she has stolen a screenplay directly from Ken Loach. She also has never ever spoken about poverty and intersectionality, either because she's not interested in a perspective that acknowledges her privilege OR she's just not intelligent enough to see the nuance. Maybe both?

Don't forget that Ken loach I Daniel Blake was based on our Jackie

Veronicaaa · Aug 27, 2020

BlendedSlop said:
Please tell me that business card has her Patreon details on the reverse side

I think it's the bottom line of the front side, under the facebook link.

blurstoftimes said:
She also has never ever spoken about poverty and intersectionality, either because she's not interested in a perspective that acknowledges her privilege OR she's just not intelligent enough to see the nuance. Maybe both?

You know, I think this is why I'm pre-emptively appalled at anything she might say about the death of Mercy Baguma (though *still* no acknowledgement, not even a liked tweet, never mind a RT of the crowdfunder for her baby). But you just know if and when she does say anything, she's going to completely miss this point.

blurstoftimes · Aug 27, 2020

Veronicaaa said:
I think it's the bottom line of the front side, under the facebook link.

You know, I think this is why I'm pre-emptively appalled at anything she might say about the death of Mercy Baguma (though *still* no acknowledgement, not even a liked tweet, never mind a RT of the crowdfunder for her baby). But you just know if and when she does say anything, she's going to completely miss this point.

Oh yes I'm actually glad she hasn't said anything because my rage levels can't handle it. Probably will include a reference to 'more bread and jam please mummy'

I just googled Jack Monroe Daniel Blake and found this...HOW long has she been writing this poverty book?! So people will have taken the time to share their painful testimonies and she never even bothered finishing it.

Jack Monroe #64 One hand refreshing Twitter, and the other one playing the piano

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