Jack Monroe #620 Terrible

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I was trying to find the pic of her sleeping (that sounds incredibly weird), but don't know where it's gone. It was the one Jack posted that apparently resembled a painting. 'Well placed sunbeams through a curtain' reminded me lol.

Instead I found this. You're welcome.

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I remember that "sleeping like a Rubens" shyte - totally not posed or filtered or anything at all. It was beautifully dissected by @Orphan_Black on thread 526, post 461. (See also @RandomFishOils, same thread - post 452 nice little comment about OF)

Jack Monroe #526 Nobody works with her twice

Sorry if it's already been pointed out, just a bit of middle-of-the-night-mithering. Jack has done something wacky with that picture, there's no way the legs haven't been altered in some way. I've done a little diagram to explain. Top pic, you can see the basic frame of a body, with knees...

tattle.life

Jack Monroe #526 Nobody works with her twice

To be fair, I don't suppose she did much actual work so much as cosplayed being a firefighter... Hope that helps. Dressed up with the other "girls" from the station for charity, once. I'd laugh if someone came on here and said that she wasn't even a call handler, but the station receptionist.

tattle.life

@traumatised sideboard , post 439 has depicted Jack the the one she loves most in the world

I suspect that IRL she "sleeps like some nightmare scenario by Otto Dix".

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I was trying to find the pic of her sleeping (that sounds incredibly weird), but don't know where it's gone. It was the one Jack posted that apparently resembled a painting. 'Well placed sunbeams through a curtain' reminded me lol.

Instead I found this. You're welcome.

View attachment 4110573

So that's why she claims to spend every waking hour deep-cleaning the kitchen, it's to get the filthy hoof-prints off the counter.

I know there's a Jack for every Jill, as it were, but she always gets these "sexy" shots wrong, doesn't she? Posing on the kitchen counter fully dressed, including weird boots. The one in the ill-fitting industrial grey bra and control pants. The RIP Viv Westwood with her bra straps on show.

 

[drmortimer]

Ohhh were those SEXY shots? I thought they were public safety warnings: “If the wind changes you’ll be stuck like that”

 

[Captainmouse]

So that's why she claims to spend every waking hour deep-cleaning the kitchen, it's to get the filthy hoof-prints off the counter.

I know there's a Jack for every Jill, as it were, but she always gets these "sexy" shots wrong, doesn't she? Posing on the kitchen counter fully dressed, including weird boots. The one in the ill-fitting industrial grey bra and control pants. The RIP Viv Westwood with her bra straps on show.

 

[griftalo]

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So who was she appealing to with this? Which demographic likes trotters in the kitchen, weird, stolen, badly fitting underwear and a sense of poor hygiene? Who are those people?!

 

[Carefree]

I won't post all the slides but it did make me laugh. El Choco could never.

 

[drmortimer]

So who was she appealing to with this? Which demographic likes trotters in the kitchen, weird, stolen, badly fitting underwear and a sense of poor hygiene? Who are those people?!

Judging by the colour... minions?

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

View attachment 4110869

She wants so badly to be Nigella, without realising that Nigella is Nigella because even if she's playing a character, she knows that character inside out and backwards.

Ms Lawson might be someone completely different when she's at home rather than in front of a TV camera, but Nigella is a character she can play because she knows who and what she is. Jack doesn't know who she is, so she tries all these different characters and is then surprised that they don't work.

 

[drmortimer]

Imagine Jack trying to pull off the Meecro-wahvay gag.

*snort* I'll just put this in hurrr hurrr the *HOOOOONK* in the hurrr hurrrr micro mate wave in the meecro microwave much matt HOOOONK lol *gurn*

twit.

 

[nothanksbabes]

That sunbeams thru a curtain one was when Leggy had dumped her, she’d been forced back to Southend, and lied for six-plus months about her tiny impoverished suddenly-announced trans nonbinary (add all attention-seeking nonsensical rit here) grand piano-stuffed hovel being one bedroom when it was two.

View attachment 4110589View attachment 4110590Her Kickstarter book backers had just deposited over £68,761 into her bank account View attachment 4110585
Bae caught Jack doing an awful lot of rit in all the spare time she had as a full time poverty campaigner for no money at all and at great cost to herself ..
@Marmalade Atkins and others.
View attachment 4110576View attachment 4110591The painting one was this View attachment 4110580View attachment 4110578Poverty Campaigning’s loss is truly Southend Council’s gain.

Seeing all these photos together, and trying to conceptualise that an actual adult person with a child and a career in tbe public eye chose to follow all the steps required to photograph herself while pretending to be asleep, then construct a story around it, then post them publicly...

It's so mind-blowingly tragic and such evidence that she has the self-awareness of a doorknob and the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old... I can't even think of anything funny to say.

I'd simply dissolve into the void if I had done even a fraction of this weird tit.

 

[MooBelle]

So who was she appealing to with this? Which demographic likes trotters in the kitchen, weird, stolen, badly fitting underwear and a sense of poor hygiene? Who are those people?!

Not people, person. This was all part of her campaign to win back Louisa. Heavily mithered at the time that the bizarre and ill fitting underwear was Louisa's and she'd blocked her from all messaging services so Jack had to put up Twitter posts to get her attention.

 

[drmortimer]

Not people, person. This was all part of her campaign to win back Louisa. Heavily mithered at the time that the bizarre and ill fitting underwear was Louisa's and she'd blocked her from all messaging services so Jack had to put up Twitter posts to get her attention.

"Look at what you're missing... Pete Doherty in drag sprawled across my ghastly kitchen"

I'm fine thanks, Jacky love.

 

[mchops]

Somebody post cornrows guest. That was shockingly poor.

 

[HotesTilaire]

That sunbeams thru a curtain one was when Leggy had dumped her, she’d been forced back to Southend, and lied for six-plus months about her tiny impoverished suddenly-announced trans nonbinary (add all attention-seeking nonsensical rit here) grand piano-stuffed hovel being one bedroom when it was two.

View attachment 4110589View attachment 4110590Her Kickstarter book backers had just deposited over £68,761 into her bank account View attachment 4110585
Bae caught Jack doing an awful lot of rit in all the spare time she had as a full time poverty campaigner for no money at all and at great cost to herself ..
@Marmalade Atkins and others.
View attachment 4110576View attachment 4110591The painting one was this View attachment 4110580View attachment 4110578Poverty Campaigning’s loss is truly Southend Council’s gain.

Apparently, I nap like somebody trying to strangle a teddy bear

 

[HotesTilaire]

Somebody post cornrows guest. That was shockingly poor.

Ah, St Tropez coated, bikini thot shot blackfish Jack. Didn't she blather on about her friends being black and they brought round jerk chicken which she enjoyed because she definitely isn’t racist because she knows some black people? A divert from her usual “my brother is black”.

 

[Captainmouse]

Apparently, I nap like somebody trying to strangle a teddy bear

Whilst looking for something else I found this

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Ah, St Tropez coated, bikini thot shot blackfish Jack. Didn't she blather on about her friends being black and they brought round jerk chicken which she enjoyed because she definitely isn’t racist because she knows some black people? A divert from her usual “my brother is black”.

Oh good god. I’d forgotten about “My brother is black and I need tips on how to cut his hair but don’t offer any advice because I’ve always cut his hair!”-Jack. Utterly repulsive individual.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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Ah the "something's simmering" days. Some wild and confusing nights they were lads .

 

[griftalo]

Imagine Jack trying to pull off the Meecro-wahvay gag.

*snort* I'll just put this in hurrr hurrr the *HOOOOONK* in the hurrr hurrrr micro mate wave in the meecro microwave much matt HOOOONK lol *gurn*

twit.

View attachment 4110895

This has cheered me up a lot, thank you!

 

[griftalo]

"Look at what you're missing... Pete Doherty in drag sprawled across my ghastly kitchen"

I'm fine thanks, Jacky love.

Wow, you’re on fire tonight. I actually hate Pete Doherty as well.