Jack Monroe #620 Terrible

[hoopdedoo]

Greetings, all. I've been off the socials for some time as the last year has been horrendous for me - Mr Hoop passed away very unexpectedly and then my mum died two months ago. I've missed the bantz here and have been following the Jason Arday story, which reminded me of guest (without the sad ending) and brought me back.

Wondering if we will see an opinion piece from guest along the lines of "I too know what it's like to be persecuted for my work."

 

[mila245]

Has Jack Monroe turned up outside Jason Arday’s in her dressing gown with chicken, lager and a fishing rod?

 

[traumatised sideboard]

My therapist asked me today if I ever did anything silly. I said 'well I did once write an album about slop' which caused some confusion and made me look a bit unhinged. I've been reviewing the Pet Slop Bots back catalogue and can confidently say (and this might be quite gauche darling of me) it is the best thing I've ever made. That's it, you've had peak TS, now FUCK OFF or would you perhaps like me to STOP BREATHING?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

A post of mine from 2023. Wasn't wrong was I?

 

[BubbleDuck]

Do you think someone broke in to her house and stole her ring binders?

First he stole her ideas, and now her ring binders ? Is there no lows this man won’t stoop to

 

[reCAPTCHA]

This is my goodbye.
I rinsed beans.
I was making a curry (chicken, lentils, nice spices and pastes etc.) and I got right to the end and just thought it needs some pulses. I didn’t have any other beans in the cupboard but Heinz.
I felt dirty even as I did it.
I am proactively excommunicating myself from the thread.
I shall take myself to virtual Dordrecht and hope to find some answers.
So long Frauen. I do not deserve you.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

A squig posting about a terrible comedian - nice to see the smol pixie still being used as the benchmark for awfulness

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Would 100% stump-up the £500 or whatever to run against her.

Count Tin Can Face!

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I don't have a colander, but I'm going to make Jack's crumpet recipe complete with pen-poked holes to watch the eclipse

I'm going to use Jack's backstory. Plenty holes in that

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Does anyone know how this is going?

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Evening all. I’ve been back in Thread 31, just enjoying the nostalgia and had to bring this back. Aaah, good times.

 

[Griftygardener]

Waiting for Jack to submit her version of this story…

View attachment 4058830

Reader, I married him.

 

[mchops]

Shit yeah I forgot to post it here

[/SPOILER

 

[nothanksbabes]

"Sunny personality" is somehow even further from the truth than any passing resemblance to Keira Knightley/Natalie Portman.

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

I maybe myself here but ive just spotted this place on my travels

 

[nothanksbabes]

She just crops up in every book I read...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Am visiting my most recent n-laws at the moment and encountered in the little free library this Rather-Butch-beshirted fella who’s obviously been to the Southend’s “wee Jezebel of a vintage thrift store” shop.

Spoiler: Stupid twat

Rather Butch wee dickhead.

Also just encountered this from @DinosaurSenior while looking for those screenies, which made me greatly lol

 

[Clovis]

I thought of guest when I was reading through Arday's cacophony of outlandish claims. I particularly enjoyed his boast of raising over £5 million for charity, but he is sadly unable to give any further information for journalists wanting to fact check as he signed NDAs lmao.

It reminded me of the time guest alleged that she gave highly valuable contributions to various government white papers but only on the promise of absolute confidentiality and that's why guest's name is nowhere to be seen on any white paper. So much unrewarded hard work behind the scenes.

Chapeau!

 

[Darvos]

SMoTF making crumpets right now. When asked how you make the holes he didn’t once mention chopsticks. Amateur.

ETA: and the rings didn’t appear to be old tuna tins. How he stays in work I do not know.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Lainey that’s got me howling! Did you mean top tips? Readers wives tips is absolutely gold though, those two things should absolutely be combined!

Readers wives' top tips - when your fishnets are knackered and have seen their last rogering, use them to drain your spuds on a Sunday.