OMG it’s Borb and Jhenni!!!
Jack Monroe #620 Terrible
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If we’re doing lore moments, in video parlance, aside from all the TERRIBLE ‘cooking’ ones, the fleeting few seconds where she limps up to the TEDx stage as if she’s a robot with one leg about 4 inches shorter than the other is just glorious. (Start about 15 seconds in)
Bonus shoutout for the ‘Bridget Jones’ mam after getting her colours done, an appointment with a personal shopper and a glamour shot package at the local Debenhams’ cosplay
And this headshot from the same vid, which pretty much sums up the whole thing.
And this headshot from the same vid, which pretty much sums up the whole thing.
AH!
How fondly I remember her use of the walking stick.
Didn't she keep forgetting which was her bad leg?
Now, now.
Guest has two legs to keep track of. You can't expect her oh-so-quirky-me puppy brain to able to cope with such a big number like that.
It may have been a few weeks since I last told my lasagne story on here, but.
If the early days of meeting my husband he decided to make a yummy homemade vegetarian lasagne. He bought a packet of the pasta that needed pre-cooking.
I came back from work to find an flustered looking boyfriend, a small pile of cooked pasta, and all our pans on the hob each containing a single sheet of lasagne.
'Darling' I said 'What the duck are you doing?'. He turned to me and shouted 'It said on the he packet to cook separately!
But surely she could make a note of it (forensically) with one of her many pens.
One of my favourites was this Edinburgh book festival appearance where she said she went into anaphylactic shock when stressed, and uttered the phrase “ vain around the edges”
What was the point of the Lilliputian Desk?
Probably had to sell all the pens to be able to afford
There was no point to it. It was
from the lengthy phase a 32-33 year old ‘poverty campaigner’ and fully grown adult woman went through of referring to herself as smol. Including as a smol pixie. On her professional social media account. To the entire internet.
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Help! Second-hand social anxiety.
- The fact she took a break to scratch her chin and told the viewers she was scratching her chin. Whhyyy.
- Anti-ASMR. So much loud clattering in the background. Why are Jack's utensils so loud?
- The amount of time she spent offscreen. Jack, we can hear you but we can't see you.
- ''Vinegar dregs'' - gross.
- Raw chicken marinade splattering out of the bag.
- The measuring jug 'luckily it's clean' tells us that cleanliness is a novel concept for Jack.
- There were other moments that made me wince, but I don't want to rewatch just to find them.
Canal - do you think you'd be able to do better than Jack if you were in the Mel Donte live? I think I'd be even worse. More prepared, but worse. I'm vegetarian so there'd be no chicken. I can't multitask so talking while cooking would be a nightmare. They'd end up with a silent film about a woman who arranges pineapple rings.
I might even resort to title cards.
As BIB is literally the (chicken-free, vegan) chicken lingreenie with Ruth and Easter Island Eamonn, someone give dearest @StatusWoe
the regular ‘pasta cooking slot’ on ITV that Jack lost, STAT!
https://tattle.life/media/jack-monroe-lingreenie.1164/
I'm sorry but what on earth was this photo?
The slicked back 80s hair. Very David Bowie.*
*If David Bowie had been a yuppie businesswoman with a pen fetish.
It’s her being her daddy’s doppelgänger/cosplaying Chocco. It’s actually v disturbing. (@HotesTilaire swerve the spoiler)I'm sorry but what on earth was this photo?
The slicked back 80s hair. Very David Bowie.*
View attachment 4102895
*If David Bowie had been a yuppie businesswoman with a pen fetish.
*Ma Oirsh Ev keeps a copy of that Jack PENZ pic stuck on the bathroom mirror as a cautionary reminder/warning to Big Wispa that he’d look ludicrous with lip fillers. And to always keep his best PENZ in his bag and never in his pocket
Jack and George Michael <3
Yes please. I can be useless too! I deserve a chance to see Eamonn's glowing Easter Island face in real time. I can also face away from people and refuse to explain what I'm doing. I can even overcook pasta just for balance.As BIB is literally the (chicken-free, vegan) chicken lingreenie with Ruth and Easter Island Eamonn, someone give dearest @StatusWoe
View attachment 4102906View attachment 4102907Lingreenie vid from @Yel
https://tattle.life/media/jack-monroe-lingreenie.1164/
I didn't realise Jack had ever addressed the ITV appearance. I wonder what happened afterwards. Maybe they actually told her she was TERRIBLE (but diplomatically). I understand why she'd want to pretend to have had a regular cooking slot, but to admit that you lost the slot because you can't cook...doesn't that make you look incompetent? Surely that's not the image Jack was trying to project.
And didn’t she borrow her solicitor’s walking stick once too?
Manifesting this for you
( And hopefully it won’t end in a John Torode setting his tea towel alight making a McMuffin type moment like this …
)
For YEARS I thought his name was Jonty Rhodes, a relation of Gary. Worra twit!