Reminds me of a time when i was an impressonable teen i dressed as morticia adams for my first older teen halloween party( with alcohol) and my wig went frizzy and some pissed up lad asked me wasco dressed as ozzy osborne. ( ragin, I was!) You see i am quite comfortable with my self to laugh when i make a tit of myself.
Jack Monroe #601 Replican't
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
PERKY blinder, though 
she’s invented that for herself
she’s invented that for herself
“As I’ve literally just told you, it’s just chicken and water, you bleeping simpleton,” laughed Sister Martha as I fervently furiously and furtively jotted in my moleskine.
Oxfam: Safe home guest, don’t call us we’ll call you byeee!
I can't get past the animal neglect and abuse.
The ancient and hugely adored cat had her last trip to the vet yesterday, as she'd become agitated even with painkillers and was alternating between clambering onto me and hunching up on the armchair with the heated pad. It hurt so much to say it, it hurt even more to do it, but the feeling of her relaxing in my arms made it clear we did the right thing. That cat was in my life for longer than anything else has ever been and Mr D got to see the tough as old boots, functioning through everything life can throw and has thrown at us, me go to absolute pieces.
Her current cat looks worse than mine did a year ago, even six months ago but is so young.
To think that not just one animal, but multiple ones, have been neglected, given subpar living conditions and denied a gentle, controlled end out of what? Stupidity? Magical thinking? Sheer arrogance? To try and spark off a massive funding stream for an inbred creature? It's not just contempt, it's not just 'you bloody coward', it's just so beyond me, I just can't put into words what I feel about it right now.
The ancient and hugely adored cat had her last trip to the vet yesterday, as she'd become agitated even with painkillers and was alternating between clambering onto me and hunching up on the armchair with the heated pad. It hurt so much to say it, it hurt even more to do it, but the feeling of her relaxing in my arms made it clear we did the right thing. That cat was in my life for longer than anything else has ever been and Mr D got to see the tough as old boots, functioning through everything life can throw and has thrown at us, me go to absolute pieces.
Her current cat looks worse than mine did a year ago, even six months ago but is so young.
To think that not just one animal, but multiple ones, have been neglected, given subpar living conditions and denied a gentle, controlled end out of what? Stupidity? Magical thinking? Sheer arrogance? To try and spark off a massive funding stream for an inbred creature? It's not just contempt, it's not just 'you bloody coward', it's just so beyond me, I just can't put into words what I feel about it right now.
I'm not having the best of days.
As discovered instantly by @HaveTinCanRattleshe then graduated to inventing the lie that someone not only mistook her for Shelby, but had the wit to change “peak blinder” to the vaguely sexualised “perky blinder” and call her it
Oi oi! Joe Browns Catalogue Blinder!
Rock chicks with funky zip fastenings the world over: feeling comfy and looking fabulous!
How lucky was Jack that someone was tragic enough to buy the entire crappy outfit from the catalogue in her exact size, only to selflessly donate it to a magic puddle?!
Last edited:
Mark Kermode's review of Fred is how I feel whenever I listen to Jack talking (especially when she's reciting poetry).
Think it sounds like Our Martha was sick of her tit, couldn’t be bothered to explain to a so called chef how to make soup and/or didn’t really know exactly what she was asking/language barrier etc.
I highly doubt she meant that the one and only ingredient was chicken
although I am impressed that, with her pallet, guest managed to identify salt and figured out that the liquid in the bowl was likely water based.---
God almighty.
Stars, there, for Jack, are like the chickensThink it sounds like Our Martha was sick of her tit, couldn’t be bothered to explain to a so called chef how to make soup and/or didn’t know what she meant/language barrier etc. I highly doubt she meant that the one and only ingredient was chicken
Why are her fingernails so grimy? Did she tunnel her way to the supermarket?Think it sounds like Our Martha was sick of her tit, couldn’t be bothered to explain to a so called chef how to make soup and/or didn’t really know exactly what she was asking/language barrier etc.
I highly doubt she meant that the one and only ingredient was chicken
---
View attachment 3341148
God almighty.
Hopefully Kuku means “this idiot is *gestures* cuckoo in the head” and Sister Martha was done with the white saviour tit. I hope they went to town and got a massive KFC after.Think it sounds like Our Martha was sick of her tit, couldn’t be bothered to explain to a so called chef how to make soup and/or didn’t really know exactly what she was asking/language barrier etc.
I highly doubt she meant that the one and only ingredient was chicken
---
View attachment 3341148
God almighty.
I'm so sorry @TheDragonWithAFlagon ((hugs))
---
---
Plus the (in)famous photo of the £20 shop at Asda was evenly laid out and in focus, every item in it was clean, and the backdrop wasn't some nasty old burlap bag pulled out of a shed, or some such. No way did she take that photo herself.
Last edited:
I'm so so sorry @TheDragonWithAFlagon. sending you sympathy.
I thought about trying to plot 42 meals from this loaves & fishes bobbins but I can't be arsed any more than guest could
there have been a few i think but yes this one was taken by a professional
I thought about trying to plot 42 meals from this loaves & fishes bobbins but I can't be arsed any more than guest could
@rage naan I don't think I've seen that one! Every day is a school day.
This is the one I remembered - that guest allegedly took after allegedly yomping to and from Asda with her backpack, calculator, expensive watch, pens, toffees, etc, and wearing those Primark cargo jeans that I still have nightmares about.
This is the one I remembered - that guest allegedly took after allegedly yomping to and from Asda with her backpack, calculator, expensive watch, pens, toffees, etc, and wearing those Primark cargo jeans that I still have nightmares about.
I don't know which is more embarassing, being dressed head to toe in a catalogue outfit, or lying about it?
That she thinks "I can't remember where I bought this" is a reasonable answer is testament to how not-poor she is. I can tell you where every object in my house was obtained from, because I bleeping worked for it.
These examples of her lying about trivial things always make me think of a colleague or two I’ve had who scrounged so incessantly (for roll-ups when they had a box of B&H in their pocket, or for the few shillings needed for the subsidised coffee machine when we were all on the same decent salary) that I felt it must have become almost like a nervous tic for them.
I mean a simple “Thanks!” would have sufficed here, but she goes straight to “Had them ages, must’ve been really cheap.”
He is certainly following Supertanskiii. Probably fancies his chances more with her as she actually leaves the house.
Yompo
---
Lest we forget her knight in shining armour is also an outed Walt and conman: https://thewaltermittyhuntersclubhq.co.uk/john-oconnell
I’m sure this has been pondered before, but do we think her son receives FSM?
Why has she arrayed those potatoes to resemble the slightly constipated poo on the Bristol Stool Chart?
He’s blurred out but you can just feel the withering WTF look that monger of Jack Monroe’s fish is casting the smol wistful pixie’s way.
“Jack Monroe’s performative musings.”
Jack's dirty nails are because she's Greek. It's skin pigmentation.
Her words not mine, so don't blame me, any Greek Fraus. I know that being Greek doesn't mean you all have dirty nails.
Since reading here, and seeing her filthy nails over and over, I have become obsessed with ensuring my nails are clean. They never were like hers, but now they shine like chickens.
Last edited:
- Status