Jack Monroe #601 Replican't

[YerDa]

I've said this before but I think her real addiction is shopping and almost everything else is to cover that. I'm sure there was/is problem drinking and other substance abuse and so on but personally from the things she posts I got the impression that it was all to excuse/ cover up the shopping.

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Because almost everyone has sympathy for a single mum and a lot of people have sympathy for substance addiction and see it, rightly or wrongly, as more of a physical illness than something like gambling or shopping.They don't take into account the dopamine etc that goes with those things . And I imagine our Young Tory guest has similar prejudices. I think the word ashamed here is as much about that as it is about anything else. She's ashamed of spending too much/ failing to save money. That's something her parents would really disapprove of.
Plus of course no one's gonna donate to pay the rent of someone who shops excessively. Let alone take them seriously as a poverty campaigner. It's vital for her image and career that she not be seen like that.

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yeah, that's her realest fear right there. See also Sue Lee. The tantrum she throws when people suggest she has money is of a different intensity I think.

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The relief of being able to blame it on booze, yeah. That's how this reads to me. He let her put it that way and she was so happy about that.

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And it's harsh to say this is just an excuse, but over two years after

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it sure sounds like one.

so yeah. All the hoarding and decluttering cycles and the constant reshuffling and rearranging of her stuff - including the ludicrous quarter hack - it's all about her relationship with her stuff. And I know she says it's about having nice things when she can after having "nothing" but I don't buy that.

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I really do think this is at the heart of it all @rage naan and you’ve pinpointed exactly her problem: that so many addictions are publicly admissible because they’re ultimately attributable to the substance itself, and therefore “forgivable”, whilst an addiction to shopping carries a higher level of shame around self-control.

It’s one of the reasons support for gambling addicts is often deprioritised compared to booze/drugs - less relatable because the “substance” itself isn’t inherently addictive (the other being the lower impact it has on our health service).

Then there’s the complex relationship people have with excessive consumption of material goods to add to that equation and she would be pretty hard pressed to see a situation where she could come clean with family, friends or the public (particularly when denying the root - self-inflicted - cause of her “poverty” so vehemently).

And now she’s doubled down so many times, she can’t imagine she could walk it back.

 

[Lobster Johnson]

Yeah. If challenged, I reckon she'd say she meant half bottles or similar - which would fit with what I suspect is her mental picture of a stereotypical alcoholic. See also her fantasy about buying from the corner shop with a "please stop me!" note tucked into her wallet...

But it's a good example of a tactical 'obvious' lie, told to distract people into mithering about that rather than asking questions about how she could afford it, or what was happening to her son at the time etc.

That story with the note drove me mad. It's not the shopkeeper's responsibility to not sell you booze. It's yours to not buy it.

 

[nothanksbabes]

She's a terrible person, so I don't feel sorry for her, but she lies about tit that could be so relatable, but with zero empathy for anyone but herself.

Loads of us drink too much to self-medicate various mental health issues, or have gone too far with recreational drugs, or struggle to control our spending, or have issues with food, or all of those things in combination. These are incredibly common issues that, as we've mithered about, can and do ruin lives when they spiral beyond our control.

Rather than say, "Boredom and insecurity made me drink too much and it was something I've tried hard to get under control" (which is likely nearer the truth), she has to elevenerife it with absolutely bull stories that anyone who has any life experience knows are utter nonsense. The reality is actually much more relatable to a broader group of people and certainly to her audience of Guardian-reading wet lettuces.

Everything she does is to alienate people and make herself the victim despite her absolute desperation for external validation. I know this is how personality disorders work, I just don't understand how full time manipulators are still so tit at it.

 

[bracrumbs]

I really do think this is at the heart of it all @rage naan and you’ve pinpointed exactly her problem: that so many addictions are publicly admissible because they’re ultimately attributable to the substance itself, and therefore “forgivable”, whilst an addiction to shopping carries a higher level of shame around self-control.

It’s one of the reasons support for gambling addicts is often deprioritised compared to booze/drugs - less relatable because the “substance” itself isn’t inherently addictive (the other being the lower impact it has on our health service).

Then there’s the complex relationship people have with excessive consumption of material goods to add to that equation and she would be pretty hard pressed to see a situation where she could come clean with family, friends or the public (particularly when denying the root - self-inflicted - cause of her “poverty” so vehemently).

And now she’s doubled down so many times, she can’t imagine she could walk it back.

BIb. Ironically, I think the canal are one of the most reasonable threads on tattle. I won’t bash other threads but some of them are unhinged. Sometimes entertainingly so, sometimes not. But I do tend to think if at the end of 2020, she’d done a proper mea culpa with a full explanation, out of everyone, we might have been kindest about it.

 

[BeardyBap]

That story with the note drove me mad. It's not the shopkeeper's responsibility to not sell you booze. It's yours to not buy it.

The only part of it that rings true is the cashier sweeping her items back into the basket in frustration at being handed a note saying “Please don’t serve me”. But there again, she likely nicked the whole thing from an American comedy situation sitcom. “Recovering alcoholic” has been an easy character outline for those writers.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I remember her saying that once L had to come home from a night with her mates because jack needing scooping up. By thoughts was L went out to have a nice time for either work or with her mates and Jack couldn't come, for a perfectly normal reason, work night out or no partners or something and her being the awful person she is decided to get hammered and then phoned L to come scoop her up and L came home to a pissed up nasty argument with an unhinged usless person who couldnt let her partner have fun!

 

[FrumpyCat]

She already decided to tell 500k strangers he was in therapy a couple of years ago. I know some people here think the tales of trammies and blackout drunkenness are made up for attention (which is a reasonable assumption because she lies about bleeping everything), but regardless of how much did or didn't happen, it's clear that having such a narc nightmare for a parent has ducked the poor kid up at least to some extent.

My default is that almost everything Jack says is a lie of a massive exaggeration . It doesn't matter if it puts her in a good light or a bad light, it probably isn't true.

For all I know, her son could really be living with her, but the more she says he is, the more I think he isn't.

 

[GazpachoPolice]

I remember her saying that once L had to come home from a night with her mates because jack needing scooping up. By thoughts was L went out to have a nice time for either work or with her mates and Jack couldn't come, for a perfectly normal reason, work night out or no partners or something and her being the awful person she is decided to get hammered and then phoned L to come scoop her up and L came home to a pissed up nasty argument with an unhinged usless person who couldnt let her partner have fun!

Those stories have always given me proper flashbacks to my narc ex. I was never allowed a nice night out without him. Whenever I had something planned - work Christmas party, night out with girlfriends or dinner with family etc etc, something would happen during the evening that would mean I had to come home.
Some of them were manufactured emergencies or just horrendous guilt that he was so unhappy and considering awful things without me there. But all of it was designed to isolate me, break me down and make me utterly dependant on him.
The similarities with Jack do not end there which is why I remain absolutely convinced that nearly everything Jack says is a lie and that she is despicable.

 

[nothanksbabes]

I remember her saying that once L had to come home from a night with her mates because jack needing scooping up. By thoughts was L went out to have a nice time for either work or with her mates and Jack couldn't come, for a perfectly normal reason, work night out or no partners or something and her being the awful person she is decided to get hammered and then phoned L to come scoop her up and L came home to a pissed up nasty argument with an unhinged usless person who couldnt let her partner have fun!

This is the narc playbook, sadly.

My ex and I used to run around after his ex wife like this. Every time we had something planned (and we were supposedly all amicable, so I was good friends with her, before I knew she was insane, and invited her to stuff all the time) she'd do this. One time she lied and said she was having a miscarriage and another time she said she'd taken an overdose. People like that always win, they destroy everything, which is what they want. The selfishness is off the bleeping scale and however vile and abusive you think they are, multiply it by 1000 .

 

[Ablemabel]

I remember her saying that once L had to come home from a night with her mates because jack needing scooping up. By thoughts was L went out to have a nice time for either work or with her mates and Jack couldn't come, for a perfectly normal reason, work night out or no partners or something and her being the awful person she is decided to get hammered and then phoned L to come scoop her up and L came home to a pissed up nasty argument with an unhinged usless person who couldnt let her partner have fun!

Absolutely. I would imagine L got grief all bloody evening too.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Ugh I'm having flashbacks to that awful pina colada bread Mr Beacon and I made for the slop along. That used self raising flour AND yeast, ffs. Such a sticky, sorry experience producing a bland cakey loaf that made me feel ill to eat it.

I still shudder at the awful courgette cake of hers that I made for the slopalong, it tasted of water and sadness and was a soggy mess. Boak

 

[For the truth]

I’m quietly enjoying her thinking how do I make the blueskyb thing work for me. All her faff so far has been pretty lame so she must be other thoughts I do ant to know what local labour Southend are being cadged into paying for research they’d never asked for.

 

[phoebuscartel]

This is the narc playbook, sadly.

My ex and I used to run around after his ex wife like this. Every time we had something planned (and we were supposedly all amicable, so I was good friends with her, before I knew she was insane, and invited her to stuff all the time) she'd do this. One time she lied and said she was having a miscarriage and another time she said she'd taken an overdose. People like that always win, they destroy everything, which is what they want. The selfishness is off the bleeping scale and however vile and abusive you think they are, multiply it by 1000 .

I grew up with my mum and my dad’s mistress both carrying on like this in a pick me contest. It was great

 

[Emmapism]

The doc I made early last year about a habitual liar, something exactly like this happened. The partner had important events that were occuring in her kids lives and almost like clockwork, some disaster would arise.

It was allllllll about attention and not liking it when anyone else got it. This one struck me especially sick tho because it was kids who were being ducked over.

The incident with Louisa leaving her party is almost word for word how our victim described what happened 🫤

 

[secretsrsafe]

If she was drinking and popping pills to the extent she says she was, surely social services should have been alerted by concerned Dad or Grandparents. Who must have been aware on some level. I wasn’t in the canal at the time she was supposedly at her worst.

 

[Lazarus]

I still shudder at the awful courgette cake of hers that I made for the slopalong, it tasted of water and sadness and was a soggy mess. Boak

Was it you who filmed/photographed it and optimistically had a tub of Lurpak on the side to spread on a slice of it, only to find it was crispy mush when it came out of the oven?

 

[Carefree]

If she was drinking and popping pills to the extent she says she was, surely social services should have been alerted by concerned Dad or Grandparents. Who must have been aware on some level. I wasn’t in the canal at the time she was supposedly at her worst.

I know someone who should be known to social services, as they're a massive head, weed and drink abuser, as well as other mental health issues, and is left alone by them.

It's been mithered (pronounced mither) about before and we have canal members who work/have worked in that field and the burden of proof is incredibly high from what I remember.

Because the child in question is a family member, I am keeping a very close eye on the mother and have already said I'd rather take the child in than let them go into care.

I don't want to give guest's lies too much oxygen but I'd bet my savings on the fact that she has never been close to the edge she claims so much. Narc? Definitely.

 

[pumbilical cord]

If she was drinking and popping pills to the extent she says she was, surely social services should have been alerted by concerned Dad or Grandparents. Who must have been aware on some level. I wasn’t in the canal at the time she was supposedly at her worst.

You'd think. But I think Jack's parents keep the peace so it doesn't reflect on their reputations as saints of the community, and the kid's dad is neither use nor ornament. I don't know if his parents would have tried to step in and failed, or if they are just as useless as the others. Failed by five adults, six including Jack.

I'd like to believe she's lying, because the alternative is far too depressing to contemplate.

 

[BeardyBap]

TeenBap has declared that she wants to round off the Xmas break with this 1970s sweeties thing on Channel 5. C’mon guest, ‘oo remembers Spangles eh?

 

[pumbilical cord]

Rihanna Pratchett about to come on R4 and I instantly asked the smart speaker to shut up. See guest. I was already mad. Now I'm mad with an irrational dislike of everyone who's tongued yer pumble in support.