Jack Monroe #570 Delusions of Relevance

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
But us Real Poors don't do that.... Cos we don't even have electrickery ffs!
I hate guest's stories of The Poverty so much because not only are they not true but the lies contain features clearly intended to elevenerife actual tales of living in poverty, so even if the press had another token Poor to talk to that one wouldn't have the shocking twist of having removed their lightbulbs. JM's poverty is always worse than everyone else's, in a way that makes genuine poor people think "oh well I suppose my experiences aren't that bad" while telling the better off that of course poor people should sell all their worldy possessions before even thinking of asking anyone for help. The word "Dickensian" comes up occasionally in this context, and it really is a specific type of (fake) poverty that's at odds with modern reality. Switching your fridge off is a false economy because now you can't keep food fresh, what would really happen for most people is the electricity meter would run out of credit and everything would be off until they could top it back up, but that sounds like a temporary irritation compared to Poor St Jack who sold her light fittings and ate her child's shoes to stay alive.

People have turned up on earlier threads saying how guilty they felt to spend more than £10 on food because Jack bloody Monroe was busy telling them that any more than that was decadent luxury or feckless stupidity. Her cosplay out-poors the poor in ways that mess with the minds of those who actually do have financial difficulties.

It boils my slop, so it does. :mad:
 
  • Like
  • Angry
  • Sick
Reactions: 71
Taking lightbulbs in and out makes it more likely they will ‘blow’ and need replacing.
It would be easier to put a piece of tape over a light switch.
Sokay, turns out (in this 2021 Vogue version of the utter bollox) she only took out the hallway lightbulbs of her luxury executive apartment
IMG_8428.jpeg


Mind you, having any lightbulbs at all was a MOO POINT given that (in this 2020 version) she sold all the landlord’s light fittings
IMG_8429.jpeg

Luckily she was still able to do things “by the light of the window”
IMG_8430.jpeg
oh, hang on. That can’t be right, because it was bleak and perpetual darkness
IMG_8433.jpeg
it’s all so very confusing…
Like the cut of this squig’s jib tho 😂
IMG_8427.jpeg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Angry
Reactions: 57
When she sold her piano "I stopped singing that day."
If there's a down side to that, I can't see it.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 107
Taking lightbulbs in and out makes it more likely they will ‘blow’ and need replacing.
It would be easier to put a piece of tape over a light switch.
Yep. This would have been at the time she was in her executive apartment, so the bulbs in question will have been halogen downlighters - and of all the types of bulb you can get, those are the most likely to be damaged by repeated handling. Even the tiniest amount of grease or oil from your skin that gets onto the glass at the front will cause hot spots which will make the bulb fail within a couple of days.

It's such a key part of her backstory, and yet it couldn't possibly have happened. It's one of the most thoroughly infuriating lies that she tells.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 48
One of the most ridiculous (fictional) chaoi with something for everyone - sadfishing! plucky smol pixie! trauma! press and fame! I RENT! forever hydrangeas! Help me I’m poor! Invisible axes! etc etc as captured in ss by @kachoochoo and beautifully summarized by @Marmalade Atkins as
View attachment 2902277
I've probably said this before but nothing makes it more obvious that she means she wants someone to buy her a house outright and then pay all he bills for life than this insistence that it will be properly hers and she'll never have to leave it be afraid of the big bad knock at the door. if she actually wanted to get a mortgage she'd know that if you don't pay it they can take the house back. If she actually wanted to pay her own way she'd know that if you don't pay the electric they cut it off and send bailiffs, etc, homeowner or not. Gaaaah it's so annoying

It's just so ridiculous isn't it? Also all the bollocks about replacing the lights with crap garden solar lights.
Cost to run a low wattage light bulb for a year: <£5.
View attachment 2902297
She clearly just says it because it sounds like something a Real Poor would do.
Cost of solar lights - definitely a lot more than that. she's an idiot
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 40
Oh my goodness that reminds me. Didn't she wang on about the loft hole cover (no idea of its real name 😂) being ajar and draughts of cold air coming down making her and SB ill? I'm fairly sure she held landlady responsible. And suffered it instead of, I dunno, fixing it herself.
I may be imaging this bit but I think there was a photo.
Yes, particularly stormy night and the loft hatch blew open. She took a picture and tweeted it and everything. She then did a whole thread about it. Apparently considered ringing the landlady. Eventually rang Choccy D who came over and presumably just shut it.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 41
I know it’s far from the only problem with her pov backstory but hiding the radiators is so weird. Out of sight out of mind but you’re still freezing your consensual tits off?!
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 38
She's stayed very quiet about this prostitution lie for a very long time now.
True. She hasn’t been in prostitution in 2013 since 2020 and hasn’t been in prostitution in 2010 since 2018. She also hasn’t been in prostitution in unspecified time period of past since 2017 when she outed herself to THE NEWSPAPERS as a “bleep” cos someone was threatening to out her. THE NEWSPAPERS response 🤷🏼‍♀️ (cos there’s no tumbleweed emoji)


She has however stolen food (out of bins) to survive in 2013 as late as 2022.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Angry
Reactions: 59
The “sold everything I owned” with particular focus on the child’s things just screams “Dave & Ev had turned off the money taps”.
“You walked out of that job your dad pulled strings to get you into, a couple of weeks after taking 18 months off. He says you need to learn to stand on your own two feet.”
“OK, if you want your grandchild to sleep in a shoebox and eat sawdust and have no toys then that’s fine. But I’m going to tell the internet”.
 
  • Like
  • Sick
  • Haha
Reactions: 67
The only house on her street that sold around this time was a 3-bed bungalow in December 2020, for £685,000.
So much poor 😢
The thing is, there are relatively few people for whom a first property is over £500k. Where that happens they earn well over £100,000 or have lots of cash.

If she had been more rooted in reality and affordability she could easily have bought a small place by now. If she rented the sort of place she could (eventually) afford to buy she would be in a much better position too. Especially given she had large lump sums come along periodically whereas most people would have to wait quite a long time for anything more than £500 above their basic bills to be available to save monthly. It takes so long to get the money together when you're earning 2000 and spending 1500 on essentials. Her "essentials" are something like 3300. So to save anything she'd need over 4k take home.

I am not far off her age and have owned a house since I was in my 20s. If I'd waited to buy a house for £685k I wouldn't have one and I can't estimate when I might be able to buy it. I think I'd actually run out of time in terms of a 30 year mortgage term before retirement, before I could start one. And because the mortgage payments for one would be too much and so my deposit would need to be massive. Ironically having bought my way up the chain I'd have equity from those smaller crappier places to help me. So having been in crappier places I'd have more of a chance than if I tried to go from rented to a 685k house.

She wants to live in a £685k house but doesn't have £685k or the income to pay £685k+ interest over the next 30 years. That isn't the lowest price in the UK. It isn't even the lowest price in her local area. Plenty of sub 300k/250k properties have been for sale within 10 miles of her in the last 10 years.

But that wouldn't be so much of a story would it.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 51
So she can climb a stepladder to remove lightbulbs and fittings but not to put the loft hatch back in place? 🤔

Schrödinger’s stepladder.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 56
Yes, particularly stormy night and the loft hatch blew open. She took a picture and tweeted it and everything. She then did a whole thread about it. Apparently considered ringing the landlady. Eventually rang Choccy D who came over and presumably just shut it.
Choccy D prob needs the eye roll emoji as much as we do. You can imagine that once he'd either applied a broom to shift it in place or climbed the stepladder she must have for lightbulb changing, she will have pulled the "oh daddy I was so scared, what if somebody had been up there and was coming to get me? One of the nasty ebil trolls for instance? I just couldn't think what to do cos fear and panic and ouchiness and fkn blah blah blah more crap ad infinitum" till he left thinking "wtf did we do to deserve such an incompetent 30 year old moany whiny buffoon?"

ETA correct spelling of ebil!🥕
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 29
It’s difficult to know whether to laugh up a lung or have an aneurysm that this £725 a month luxury executive damp hovel is where she lived when she wrote Hunger Hurts back in 2012 (it’s not pics of her interiors, these are when a flat with exact same layout/setup as hers, ground floor with patio, was listed for rent a bit back).
IMG_8430.jpeg
and that the above open plan room is what the absolute fame-ravenous prick described as the kitchenloungedinermusicstudiooffice
IMG_8435.jpeg

Mind you, seems odd she’d need a music studio given she’d sold her beautiful upright piano and stopped singing months before

This is also the one she (allegedly) piled full of hoarded tat she’d found by the bins.
IMG_8437.jpeg
It’s truly fascinating when you consider she has told literally thousands of lies, and made up all these stupid-ass ridiculous stories in her head and then vommed them out all over the internet and in THE NEWSPAPERS for well over a decade. Mostly for manipulation, but so many of them are not only bleeping nonsensical they’re utterly boring and completely pointless too.

What a sad little life, Jack.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Wow
Reactions: 53
The thing is, there are relatively few people for whom a first property is over £500k. Where that happens they earn well over £100,000 or have lots of cash.

If she had been more rooted in reality and affordability she could easily have bought a small place by now. If she rented the sort of place she could (eventually) afford to buy she would be in a much better position too. Especially given she had large lump sums come along periodically whereas most people would have to wait quite a long time for anything more than £500 above their basic bills to be available to save monthly. It takes so long to get the money together when you're earning 2000 and spending 1500 on essentials. Her "essentials" are something like 3300. So to save anything she'd need over 4k take home.

I am not far off her age and have owned a house since I was in my 20s. If I'd waited to buy a house for £685k I wouldn't have one and I can't estimate when I might be able to buy it. I think I'd actually run out of time in terms of a 30 year mortgage term before retirement, before I could start one. And because the mortgage payments for one would be too much and so my deposit would need to be massive. Ironically having bought my way up the chain I'd have equity from those smaller crappier places to help me. So having been in crappier places I'd have more of a chance than if I tried to go from rented to a 685k house.

She wants to live in a £685k house but doesn't have £685k or the income to pay £685k+ interest over the next 30 years. That isn't the lowest price in the UK. It isn't even the lowest price in her local area. Plenty of sub 300k/250k properties have been for sale within 10 miles of her in the last 10 years.

But that wouldn't be so much of a story would it.
Yes exactly.

It's more infuriating because she wrote that stupid beg blog about "woe is me, I'm going to have to downsize into an appropriately sized home so I can save for a deposit" so she on some level knows this.

But that's the thing, she knows it but chooses to ignore it because that's the grift. It's the same sort of transparent thought process you get when a five year old wants to trick you into giving them something they want

I live in an expensive house because made up reasons about an imaginary three year contract I can't get out of
I hate this house because it's cold etc
I love this house and it's the only place we have EVER called home for me and my CHILD
I feel insecure when I rent
I will only ever feel secure if I own a home
I wish I could own THIS home
I'm going to have to move so I can save money so I can buy
I wish I didn't have to move
This house is too expensive
The thought of having to move gives me trauma
My child wants to stay here
I can't afford to stay here
Etc etc
the only way out of all this dilemma is someone give me this house for free

Part of me wishes she did own it so she could find out that having to pay for all the maintenance of a house and having no one else to blame for everything that goes wrong can actually be quite tit and expensive
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 47
46 quid a month to run her 'industrial freezer'?! She's telling us where the bodies are lads!
---
I don’t even think I spend that much more a month on my entire electric bill… maybe I should be cos playing at being an advisor to ‘the poor’
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 26
True. She hasn’t been in prostitution in 2013 since 2020 and hasn’t been in prostitution in 2010 since 2018. She also hasn’t been in prostitution in unspecified time period of past since 2017 when she outed herself to THE NEWSPAPERS as a “bleep” cos someone was threatening to out her. THE NEWSPAPERS response 🤷🏼‍♀️ (cos there’s no tumbleweed emoji)


She has however stolen food (out of bins) to survive in 2013 as late as 2022.
She has been inside a brothel (purpose unspecified) as recently as 2022.

1714299574577.png
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sick
Reactions: 34
My dad has been a die hard fan and season ticket holder of [a London football team] since the mid 1950s, when he went to his first game. He's getting on for 80 years old now and still schleps over to every home game (now quite a long tube journey), in spite of tit weather, travel delays, rising and falling status of team, etc.
This is such a gorgeous lovely story. I love your dad!
---
I found the loft hatch drama 😂
From Feb 22. Thanks to @Silver Linings for screenshots.
Didn’t look like it was above her bed i the photo, look like it was above some sort of sideboard
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 31
Qmlan but this sock has started posting again this morning at exactly the same time Jack has started posting again this morning. And the output from today is 100% posts arguing on random accounts that are anti Jack.
Just a coincidence I'm sure.
I am once again quoting myself but.....that account has been deleted because it wasn't a sock or anything....
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 46
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.