Jack Monroe #570 Delusions of Relevance

[Jelly Bean]

She'd be the sort to ring the landlord complaining about a bulb being blown.

Oh my goodness that reminds me. Didn't she wang on about the loft hole cover (no idea of its real name ) being ajar and draughts of cold air coming down making her and SB ill? I'm fairly sure she held landlady responsible. And suffered it instead of, I dunno, fixing it herself.
I may be imaging this bit but I think there was a photo.

 

[VielleFemme]

My dad has been a die hard fan and season ticket holder of [a London football team] since the mid 1950s, when he went to his first game. He's getting on for 80 years old now and still schleps over to every home game (now quite a long tube journey), in spite of tit weather, travel delays, rising and falling status of team, etc.

I've never even been to a game but grew up surrounded by (mostly male) family members for whom football wasn't just a trendy thing to pretend to like, but deeply baked in to every part of your existence.

Then, when I was a postgrad student, I had a very annoying 'friend' who had a short-lived relationship with another friend who was a (proper) fan of the same team as my dad.

When they split up, she immediately began pretending to be an obsessive supporter of this team (she was from rural posh England somewhere), talking about the players, dragging me to the pub to watch 'the game', acting all tragic and sad when they lost.

It was one of the most revolting and annoying displays of cuntery I've ever had to witness. She reminds me of Jack.

 

[Lazarus]

That’s my favourite chaos

This was one of my favourites. And a bit like people remembering where they were when Kennedy was killed, I remember where I was when I read this:

Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

Wow. Here are some similar original sketches. Some of them are worth a fortune: https://www.artsy.net/artist-series/tracey-emin-birds Nah that’s bollocks. They’ve googled it and those sites literally pluck the numbers from thin air: I don’t think she’s a millionaire and never will be. If...

tattle.life

 

[Jelly Bean]

I found the loft hatch drama
From Feb 22. Thanks to @Silver Linings for screenshots.

 

[HotesTilaire]

As a Liverpool fan from over the water I do wish she'd stop. It's just so cringe and by my maffs: guest tweet of support=bad result.

To be a pedant I'd argue she's not a wool

She’s not geographically a wool, but the purple bin-havers of the thread have decided she is basically a bad wool.

 

[I'm not actually here]

I found the loft hatch drama
From Feb 22. Thanks to @Silver Linings for screenshots.

Christ, all you do is get a broom and shove it about until it reseats itself. Hardly rocket science.

I cannot believe we can still find so many things to entertain us - whether that is . Eta these are emojis - pick your own lol as mine seem to be bust!

The grift that keeps on giving who can make a laughing stock cube of herself without even trying.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Whats the point anyway? If it's that bad you just don't turn them on.

I think it was so she didn't accidentally leave them on in rooms she wasn't using - the poor little pov, having to unscrew her light bulbs and carry them from room to room

So either she was clambering on chairs to unscrew lightbulbs every five minutes, or she was also carrying a stepladder from room to room with her? The one is dangerous, the other is unlikely to the point of absurdity.

Fancy a cup of tea? Get up, unscrew lightbulb from sitting room light fitting, take light bulb and mug into kitchen, screw lightbulb into kitchen fitting, put kettle on, make tea, unscrew light fitting, carry mug of hot liquid and light bulb and possibly stepladder or chair in the dark back to sitting room, screw in lightbulb, drink tea, decide you need a wee, take lightbulb to bathroom...

 

[Clovis]

Ignore me, did an early morning chaos

 

[YerDa]

Ignore me, did an early morning chaos

Arne Slot (rhymes with WTF) knows

 

[I'm not actually here]

I think it was so she didn't accidentally leave them on in rooms she wasn't using - the poor little pov, having to unscrew her light bulbs and carry them from room to room

So either she was clambering on chairs to unscrew lightbulbs every five minutes, or she was also carrying a stepladder from room to room with her? The one is dangerous, the other is unlikely to the point of absurdity.

Fancy a cup of tea? Get up, unscrew lightbulb from sitting room light fitting, take light bulb and mug into kitchen, screw lightbulb into kitchen fitting, put kettle on, make tea, unscrew light fitting, carry mug of hot liquid and light bulb and possibly stepladder or chair in the dark back to sitting room, screw in lightbulb, drink tea, decide you need a wee, take lightbulb to bathroom...

It's not even 8am and I am PMSL at this vision.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

It's not even 8am and I am PMSL at this vision.

So many of her shite stories fall apart at the slightest thought, but she's managed to take (SEVERE) advantage of a few things:

1. her target audience is middle-class Guardian readers who have no idea what actually living on the breadline is like, but they know it's hard, and here's this unchallenging woman (she's white, from a middle class background, conventionally attractive, went to a grammar school, not overweight) presenting a story that agrees with their priors.
2. There is a general attitude that questioning anyone's claimed experience is wrong, and aforesaid Guardian readers would be up in arms if anyone tried to say "honestly, look, that's bollocks, think about it for a minute, how would that work?"
3. The fast-moving nature of social media - you say something, and unless it goes viral, it's gone in a couple of days and people forget about it and move on. People aren't, as a rule, going to cross-check what you said on Tuesday against what you said three years ago, and nor are they going to dig through newspaper websites to see if this article matches that one.

 

[I'm not actually here]

So many of her shite stories fall apart at the slightest thought, but she's managed to take (SEVERE) advantage of a few things:

1. her target audience is middle-class Guardian readers who have no idea what actually living on the breadline is like, but they know it's hard, and here's this unchallenging woman (she's white, from a middle class background, conventionally attractive, went to a grammar school, not overweight) presenting a story that agrees with their priors.
2. There is a general attitude that questioning anyone's claimed experience is wrong, and aforesaid Guardian readers would be up in arms if anyone tried to say "honestly, look, that's bollocks, think about it for a minute, how would that work?"
3. The fast-moving nature of social media - you say something, and unless it goes viral, it's gone in a couple of days and people forget about it and move on. People aren't, as a rule, going to cross-check what you said on Tuesday against what you said three years ago, and nor are they going to dig through newspaper websites to see if this article matches that one.

That's why we are here!!

 

[allybongo]

1-2 to us

Stop

 

[YerDa]

1-2 to us

Stop

Really would love “1-2 to us” to be a thread title

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

It’s Sir Terry RIP’s birthday today. I wonder if, two and a bit years’ on, Rhianna is regretting her belief in the woman we all told her was a grifter who would never deliver. I also still wonder how much money she gave guest because you know guest would have bleated about the costs of all the work

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

I think it was so she didn't accidentally leave them on in rooms she wasn't using - the poor little pov, having to unscrew her light bulbs and carry them from room to room

So either she was clambering on chairs to unscrew lightbulbs every five minutes, or she was also carrying a stepladder from room to room with her? The one is dangerous, the other is unlikely to the point of absurdity.

Fancy a cup of tea? Get up, unscrew lightbulb from sitting room light fitting, take light bulb and mug into kitchen, screw lightbulb into kitchen fitting, put kettle on, make tea, unscrew light fitting, carry mug of hot liquid and light bulb and possibly stepladder or chair in the dark back to sitting room, screw in lightbulb, drink tea, decide you need a wee, take lightbulb to bathroom...

definitely not an unlikely scenario at all….

Personally I HATE unscrewing lightbulbs (when they have blown, not when I’m fake povving). I’m always scared they will smash as they are delicate little fuckers and never seem to come out that easily.

Surely an easier method is to tape the light switch off instead? Doesn’t read as well though does it..

 

[HotesTilaire]

Ah, we hardly knew ye, blonde ”home bleached” hair was it shite as like done at home, that’s £200 quids worth

 

[Be our guest]

I found the loft hatch drama
From Feb 22. Thanks to @Silver Linings for screenshots.

Did she actually believe the loft had zero insulation in it? How embarrassing

 

[BenignNarcissist]

The likeness is uncanny.

View attachment 2897167

Princess Leia has let herself go, eh?

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

definitely not an unlikely scenario at all….

Personally I HATE unscrewing lightbulbs (when they have blown, not when I’m fake povving). I’m always scared they will smash as they are delicate little fuckers and never seem to come out that easily.

Surely an easier method is to tape the light switch off instead? Doesn’t read as well though does it..

Same. And you're always at an awkward angle on the stepladder, and there's always a fear that somehow the light switch that you know is off (because you've turned the whole lighting circuit off at the mains because you can't remember if you switched the light switch off when the bulb blew) will somehow come live and strike you dead.