Jack Monroe #569 #YoullNeverWorkAgain

[Nonah]

I think now's an appropriate time to confess that I've been known, when I have a craving for something sweet and don't have much in, to spread a teaspoon each of smooth peanut butter and raspberry jam on a digestive biscuit. However, there was no microwave involved and you absolutely do NOT need any butter or "spread" (probably bleeping lard in guest's case).

I'd completely understand if this revelation was enough for me to be booted out of the canal. However, I'm consoling myself with the fact I don't look like I'm wearing a cowpat on my head, actually know where the state of Georgia is, and don't have a voice that sounds like a cross between Janet Street-Porter and a trapped fart.

Would absolutely eat that. I’m also fond of cream cheese on a digestive because it’s a very basic cheesecake innit.

 

[Geetbo]

I regularly buy a packet of digestives and a jar of Nutella and sit and eat it. I’m not foolish enough to think that is a recipe.

 

[Carefree]

I have hidden a jar of crunchy Biscoff spread in my tiny flat because it just gets eaten with a teaspoon. It's worked so well I don't know where it is. Does that count? Because I'm often just eating cereal for dinner or supper.

 

[YerDa]

I regularly buy a packet of digestives and a jar of Nutella and sit and eat it. I’m not foolish enough to think that is a recipe.

She’s made a decade+ career of pretending things are recipes that definitely aren’t, to the tune of ££££. What hasn’t penetrated her cotton wool noggin is that those times are gone.

 

[hereforthechaos]

I regularly buy a packet of digestives and a jar of Nutella and sit and eat it. I’m not foolish enough to think that is a recipe.

I'd buy that over a slop manual though. If you have bread sticks you can pretend it's a giant choc dip. It's retro munchies night tonight apparently

 

[Nonah]

I used to like dipping salt and vinegar Discos in Nutella. Also not a recipe.

 

[Squeaky Beans]

That's 2-0 Everton for the non believers in the beautiful game.

I may live in the city but I support neither team. And people like Jack make want to be an honoury Blue.

Yes, I might regret this should Liverpool win 3-2 but I'll own it like a real football fan.

I for one am just glad she didn't decide to adopt Southend United. We've got enough problems.

 

[lilykestrel]

Do you remember the one that looked like an ashtray emptied into a jar of water? Was it greengage? Iirc that's what she said her slumlord grandfather ate with cheap wet ham?
Double humour points because she cooked it in the slow cooker which meant it wasn't jam. Jam is made by reaching a temperature high enough to cause a chemical reaction to make it into, well, jam and a SC doesn't get that hot.

You called?

 

[Deeznutslol]

 

[YerDa]

You called?

View attachment 2895478

Completed it mate Honestly, it’s no wonder no-one wants to live with her, she’s insufferably smug (and that’s one of her nicer qualities)

 

[lilykestrel]

Digging recipes out and pinging over tomorrow klaxon

 

[Geetbo]

She’s got to be trolling us surely.

 

[Nonah]

View attachment 2895491

Digging recipes out and pinging over tomorrow klaxon

Should we add this to the list now or give it a couple of days?

 

[YerDa]

Grim
View attachment 2895494

Some evil git’s offloading all their Jack Monroe books onto this unsuspecting food bank under the guise of philanthropy. May they suffer for their sins.

 

[Madonna_Claws]

I for one am just glad she didn't decide to adopt Southend United. We've got enough problems.

As always, there's a relevant Half Man Half Biscuit lyric:

"But then, disastrously, they ask him casually
"You come from Leigh-On-Sea
Do you ever get to Roots Hall?"
Which to him means duck all..."

(Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools)

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Should we add this to the list now or give it a couple of days?

More chance of her digging out the money she grifted and returning it.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I knew someone once who had a big tomcat called Brian. Brilliant name.

I'm ignoring that she's back again, SHAN'T feed the narc.

 

[YerDa]

As always, there's a relevant Half Man Grifter Half Biscuit Malted Milk lyric:

"But then, disastrously, they ask him casually
"You come from Leigh-On-Sea
Do you ever get to Roots Hall?"
Which to him means duck all..."

(Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools)

FTFY

 

[Madonna_Claws]

Not so cheap Toffees now, eh Jack? Eh?

duck off you fake kickyball bad wool.

 

[TrolleyParton]

I think now's an appropriate time to confess that I've been known, when I have a craving for something sweet and don't have much in, to spread a teaspoon each of smooth peanut butter and raspberry jam on a digestive biscuit. However, there was no microwave involved and you absolutely do NOT need any butter or "spread" (probably bleeping lard in guest's case).

I'd completely understand if this revelation was enough for me to be booted out of the canal. However, I'm consoling myself with the fact I don't look like I'm wearing a cowpat on my head, actually know where the state of Georgia is, and don't have a voice that sounds like a cross between Janet Street-Porter and a trapped fart.

BIB, thread title please.