Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

[Jemadah]

2) why leave it in the packaging if you’re going to put it on a plate?

The prep advice on ready meals often says to pierce the film lid then place them on a plate in the microwave.

 

[HotesTilaire]

a wool can also be someone from either further afield who feigns being from or some connection to the city.
They normally have a mysterious scouser-than-scouse uncle from “the centre” who used to always take them to anfield. Mysteriously, they can’t get tickets to go anymore now they have their own money.

thats Plazzy
---

there are areas on that map that are up for debate. Prescot is woolshire for sure in my book.

100% and Whiston.

 

[Atruck]

I think it's strange it has too many ends, like if I was a spy trying not to give away my base id say I'm just popping by from err Boot..ing..ham..shire

Never before qmlak (that doesn't look right does it but you get me), but just realised there's Buckinghamshire existing! I've partially reverse my locale there then.
Shoeburyness def sounds more cobbled.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Evening you horrible lot, just checking in to see what liverpool are up to.... i have five minutes probably before my kids wants something to grunk with a cup of tea. Come pet, give us some

 

[Soup or Noodle]

No fuck off don’t you fuck in wade in on Agatha Christie you fucking dickwad. Fuck off now

Thank you - I'm catching up and was was thinking the same

 

[StewPots]

I think the book reading is meant to put one in mind of Matilda and how precocious she was but also how she's the scrappy, brainy one in a family of money worshippers. Alas, I did not laugh or think that - at all.

Matildtwat.

 

[Lazarus]

It is a Scouse insult for people from near Liverpool who aren’t Scouse. It’s also a general insult for uncool or embarrassing hair/clothes/behaviour. Also people who pronounce coke “cork”.

Origin of 'woolyback' and what makes someone a 'wool'

What do you think counts as a 'wool'?

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk

theres a map of what consitutes Liverpool
View attachment 2870379

Sound, but about a mile away from posh

 

[Lobster Johnson]

She's the classic Liverpool fan- not from round here.

Don't come for me fam. Am from along line of bitters. We have to say the above reflexively.

I share your affliction and I curse the generational trauma our families handed to us.

 

[StewPots]

And of course the next line is dripping from a dead dog's eye, which given Jack's history with animals...

Yup god she’s a proper pile of shite isn’t she?

Glad her name is the same on Twixxter, the prick.

 

[YerDa]

As guest would no doubt say: “necesitamos un adulto”

 

[Carefree]

I've always pondered that one, because typically opioids have the opposite effect to making someone feel horny. Obviously she's full of shit, but y'know

That'll explain why I literally can't be bothered to find a shag. All those opioid based painkillers

 

[HotesTilaire]

I'm so jealous of everyone's cool accents. I don't quite sound like Rebel Wilson (I've managed to keep my posh Adelaide accent) but some days I cringe when I hear myself.
At least I'm consistent, unlike the Jackelope who changes depending on the weather.

I think you’d like Korean Billy. On topic, has she moved then, or what?

 

[MurielSnark]

She defo got dumped recently and is bored.
She’s a pure wool AND from down south.

wot's a wool @HotesTilaire?

 

[Carefree]

I've had an evening of wine and talking about Palestine. To say it's been eventful is underplaying it but it's not as bad as guest's latest nonsense. Lord help us all.

 

[freya]

I thought Penis Beaker was unmasked as being the work of a troll?
I don’t care if Mexican House Thief is fake, it’s a great tale.
centre Parks as a code for bum sex is Simon Harris level. Can’t be arsed to investigate the poster who started that thread, but their sentence structure was a bit Cack.

I loved Mexican house thief! It’s all coming back!

 

[HotesTilaire]

The term "walty" (or walt) is generally used across the services for people who are "in" but just a bit.. Jack. Prone to fantasies and exaggeration.
I think her lie is stretching that term though tbh.

The police also describe excessively gung-ho types who tend to buy very expensive accessories and get involved in kerfuffles off duty as "job pissed" but medical emergency services have adopted "Ricky Rescue" for the same sort of situation eg paramedics that are SAR volunteers and special constables or similar.

I can't think of a word for outright faking but if I come across one I'll report back.
Wannabe might be a reasonable fit for now though.

Is Paper Mask too old of a reference these days?

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

March 2012
View attachment 2880106

About Jack Monroe

I’m Jack Monroe. A 23 year old single mother to a toddler, living in a flat in the town centre, Southend on Sea. I have worked in retail, management, and for the past three years, the public ...

web.archive.org

Spoiler: 20 miles away from home

View attachment 2880110View attachment 288011130 miles away, day shifts that meant being out of the house for 13 hours total. View attachment 2880107View attachment 2880109View attachment 2880112View attachment 2880114And also 15-hour long night shifts, 2 hours longer than the day shift working day plus commute at both ends. In Brentwood. 30 miles away View attachment 2880137View attachment 2880138View attachment 2880115View attachment 2880117

For that matter, see also: it’s the girlfriend in whose house she was living and who dumped her’s fault she had to quit the fire service! Here’s the evidence!!!View attachment 2880143Tho her tricksy wording makes it seem like this is her son’s dad she’s on about. AND that she had no family close. This is when she came back from maternity in Sept 2011, was dumped in Oct 2011, had to move out of the home owned by her partner and in October 2011 immediately SPITE-flounced into the £725 a month luxury exec apartment and then SPITE-flounced out of the fire service mere weeks later in mid-November, while already “off sick with stress.

Everything she ever does, up to and including these past few days, is to stick it to someone else “I’LL SHOW THEM!!!”

I’ll say it again. What a cunt.

@witchofwestbyfleet let me know if you want any linky links for the Wiki

Yes please!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Certain that LFA tweet is something to do with either her kid or her ex, who are akshual Liverpool supporters. She's having a go at one or both of them.

Which ex? Not Louisa?