Jack Monroe #56 I, Jack Monroe

Raker · Aug 1, 2020

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 199018

“Gorgeously scrummy”. That’s right, “Gorgeously scrummy”

well, there you go. There’s an actual adult, talking to another actual adult using the linguistic style of Violet Elizabeth Bott.

And that is what’s wrong with the blind sheep following her and paying for her to do fuck all whilst expecting the world to just give her everything. People who talk like that are going to believe her made up multiverse “origin” story and whack some cash into the tip jar to support the little poor person.

Nauseating

busylass · Aug 1, 2020

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 199245
Jack’s face at the frauens not falling for her shit.

ETA - shit that’s enormous! Soz for the printer ink, Jack. Another expense for you!

Yikes. Do you think she's named the beads after us?

I'm just crushing *tattle name*

FreeSquirrels · Aug 1, 2020

Jay Rayner/Henry Dimbleby spat
Don’t know if you can remember back as far as Wednesday and the National Food Strategy launch but Jay Rayner has launched into HD asking why HD wrote the report rather than a professor. (He hasn’t asked why R Jackie didn’t do it).

Pocahontas · Aug 1, 2020

Bookweevil said:
Cabal, I’ll have you know (although, fuck off for being so intrusive) that there were many serious offers on my Cotswold Co. dining table to ghostwrite JM’s crime novel. But, because I’m a maverick <insert Tom Cruise gif where the sun don’t shine> I have done my own show. This chaos is FREE content (so you should feel fucking guilty, but also extremely lucky for letting your eyeballs anywhere near it without tapping my Tip Jar because I give ALL of my work away for FREE to Tattlers who are in dire need of piss-taking). The rest will be available on my Patreon: search ‘Pimp My Cotswold Co. Crib, Fools’.

Plucky, tattooed Very-Special Constable Mack John-Row dipped a wedge of cheese in melted Marmite butter, snarfed it like a great big greedy goblin and sighed. Being a vegan is ball-breakingly tough.

But not as tough as trying to resolve this latest case. The DI had been in touch regarding a howling, floor-clawing case. John-Row, never knowingly under-stan’d, had dealt with far bigger, much more media-friendly stuff than this. But this case was curious.

The witness statement described a potentially lucrative celebrity chef and poverty campaigner career being cast into The Thames and left to drown.

There were 1000s of witnesses schmoozing in fancy riverside spots with their agents, but no evidence on Twitter. Can tweets, pondered Mack John-Row puffing on a cigar of rinsed beans, be deleted?

[TBC....]

‘Who are you?’ asked Pocahontas.
‘No-one of consequence,’ replied Bookweevil.
‘I must know,’ replied Pocahontas.
‘Get used to disappointment,’ replied Bookweevil.

Shesaidwhat? · Aug 1, 2020

Raker said:
“Gorgeously scrummy”. That’s right, “Gorgeously scrummy”

well, there you go. There’s an actual adult, talking to another actual adult using the linguistic style of Violet Elizabeth Bott.

And that is what’s wrong with the blind sheep following her and paying for her to do fuck all whilst expect the world to just give her everything. People who talk like that are going to believe her made up multiverse “origin” story and whack done cash into the tip jar to support the little poor person.

Nauseating

The patronising baby talk her & her followers spout makes my teeth itch.

Marj24 · Aug 1, 2020

ThePowderMonkey said:
People on the brink of financial ruin don’t give away fucking nutribullets.

because they can't be arsed bringing them home, because, new wardrobe

OriginalAntiInfluencer · Aug 1, 2020

Is she still a vegan? As when she was in Edinburgh after last meltdown she went to 5 Guys and then last night was seen eating fish fingers with her son? What is she???

Bugger13 · Aug 1, 2020

OriginalAntiInfluencer said:
Is she still a vegan? As when she was in Edinburgh after last meltdown she went to 5 Guys and then last night was seen eating fish fingers with her son? What is she???

A liar. I don’t believe she was ever vegan-she had spam on her shelves when she was supposedly vegan & was talking in Edinburgh (on the link someone put up a few days ago-at the launch of veganish) about stewing steak. I’m now positive it was all lies just to exploit a growing market in plant based food.
Am so angry I bought the sodding book. Especially when I saw her buying the most shit factory farmed cheap chicken on the Scotland trip.

Shesaidwhat? · Aug 1, 2020

OriginalAntiInfluencer said:
Is she still a vegan? As when she was in Edinburgh after last meltdown she went to 5 Guys and then last night was seen eating fish fingers with her son? What is she???

She was. Then she was only a 90% vegan and now I think was it her or a Jack-o-lantern said she had to stop the veganism for health reasons.

Bugger13 · Aug 1, 2020

OriginalAntiInfluencer said:
Is she still a vegan? As when she was in Edinburgh after last meltdown she went to 5 Guys and then last night was seen eating fish fingers with her son? What is she???

Ps sorry-didn’t actually answer. She claimed she’s no longer vegan because ‘bullshit excuse about woe is me as per usual’

DinosaurSenior · Aug 1, 2020

@L

OriginalAntiInfluencer said:
Is she still a vegan? As when she was in Edinburgh after last meltdown she went to 5 Guys and then last night was seen eating fish fingers with her son? What is she???

She cares not a jot for animal welfare, as the wafer thin ~~mints~~ chicken showed. She was a vegan for 5 minutes. Maybe 6.

GothPrincess · Aug 1, 2020

Good night.
Or as Jack would say “Now fuck off”
X

Bugger13 · Aug 1, 2020

DinosaurSenior said:
@L

She cares not a jot for animal welfare, as the wafer thin ~~mints~~ chicken showed. She was a vegan for 5 minutes. Maybe 6.

I’m guessing three

Blurp · Aug 1, 2020

Tabitha D said:
Wee Jimmy Krankie. It’s only right it should be someone Scottish.

You took the words out of my mouth - first person I thought of.

IndigoStar · Aug 1, 2020

Blurp said:
You took the words out of my mouth - first person I thought of.

I know it’s late and all but I just had a horrible thought. Maybe she was up in Scotland meeting George Galloway. He’s trying to become relevant. Something involving saucers of milk perhaps?

FeelingGroovy · Aug 1, 2020

Finally at the end and I’m still livid.

<insert gif of Catherine Tate’s nan character saying “wot a fackin’ liberty”>

Shesaidwhat? · Aug 1, 2020

IndigoStar said:
I know it’s late and all but I just had a horrible thought. Maybe she was up in Scotland meeting George Galloway. He’s trying to become relevant. Something involving saucers of milk perhaps?

Well she does like cats.

AdultHumanFemale · Aug 1, 2020

Her friends have... Vanished?

Hmmm, and I wonder why that might be?

I don't believe for a moment anyone necessarily deserves a lonely existence, but one really has wonder why someone would find themselves in this situation. The fact is, a mirror will shine more light on to this problem than this arrogant parade of 'woe is me' would ever do.

I truly have no sympathy for this woman.

BeautifulTrauma · Aug 1, 2020

I’m pretty much finished Grunka’ing which is a good job as my rage levels are insane right now!

The fact she is taking money from people who themselves can’t afford to feed themselves is just abhorrent, so much so I can’t get my head around it.

I’ve been thinking about it and can understand it from the Jackolytes point of view, they don’t have Tattle and a lot of people on Twitter are going to take things at face value - and one thing Jack is so very good at is controlling the conversation around her and either setting the hounds or blocking someone who steps out of line. So all they see is this poor little urchin, on the verge of a breakdown/burn out and can’t put the pieces together and so donate.

I think one day, you know when an innocent tweet just goes viral? I think someone is going to make some sort of thread of tweets with receipts outlining what Jack has done and it’ll go viral. Her own narcissism and need to be seen as this downtrodden little scamp will be her downfall.

How she contradicts herself so much and gets away with it I’ll never know, but I feel on edge reading the thread and what she’s doing. She’s one of the worst con artists out there.

Now fuck off.

TheDragonWithAFlagon · Aug 1, 2020

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 198994

It's not impossible. For a start, if you applied for a job now, it would most likely not start until 1st September at the earliest. And it's going to take longer to get a job without a recent checkable work history, anyhow, so October sounds more likely. Or the JCP could put her onto a GCSE course to top up her qualifications to get through the filters requiring 5 GCSE passes.

OriginalAntiInfluencer said:
Is she still a vegan? As when she was in Edinburgh after last meltdown she went to 5 Guys and then last night was seen eating fish fingers with her son? What is she???

Nah, had packed that in as a bad job by the time the Vegan book was published.

Jack Monroe #56 I, Jack Monroe

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