Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

[Mr Krabs]

Wow it’s been a whole year since we had this fascinating house move content. Can you believe it?

That’s a good tip for keeping screws safe when moving. Do you think Jack has a lot of little baggies hanging around the house?

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Hooboy, just done a massive catch-up after being in hospital and offline for nearly two weeks. Nearly coughed up both lungs, which is not good for my recovery.

Flapjacks and copper pennies for all, thank you for making me feel slightly human again. xx

I hope you are ok and on the mend.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Wow it’s been a whole year since we had this fascinating house move content. Can you believe it?

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That’s a good tip for keeping screws safe when moving. Do you think Jack has a lot of little baggies hanging around the house?

Why would you pack the legs separately to the bases? That makes no sense.

 

[rage naan]

Wow it’s been a whole year since we had this fascinating house move content. Can you believe it?

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That’s a good tip for keeping screws safe when moving. Do you think Jack has a lot of little baggies hanging around the house?

One enormous unit? What the duck is she talking about. Why would you do that before moving house?
I own far too many books but I can't imagine filling sixteen bookcases. Then again 87% of it is "recipes" from 2002 handwritten in notebooks, and forensic triangulatory files about ninnies

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Why would you pack the legs separately to the bases? That makes no sense.

Why pack everything up, sleep on the sofa for no reason then not even move? The way of the Jack is not meant to be understood.

 

[BeardyBap]

Pickfords: And are there chairs to go with this huge dining table, Mx?
Munroe: Yes, they're over there in that box.
Pickfords: You wot

 

[rage naan]

Pickfords: And are there chairs to go with this huge dining table, Mx?
Munroe: Yes, they're over there in that box.
Pickfords: You wot

g: Well, the seats are in that box. The legs are in a separate box with the screws.
P: Why did you disassemble your chairs? We would have moved them whole
g: STOP HARASSING ME

 

[hiyaaaacath]

I’ve seen libraries in small towns that don’t have 16 bookshelves, so it’s a bloody good job that Guest had the brains and foresight to remind us that these bookshelves were CHEAP and also to remind us that she doesn’t have an actual frigging job because who the FRIG has time to sand 16 frigging bookshelves. Who?!?

 

[YerDa]

Why would you pack the legs separately to the bases? That makes no sense.

You might have been “rehearsing most of your adult life for this”, guest, but you’re not quite ready for a live performance yet. Perhaps just understudy for now, eh?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Wow it’s been a whole year since we had this fascinating house move content. Can you believe it?

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That’s a good tip for keeping screws safe when moving. Do you think Jack has a lot of little baggies hanging around the house?

I love that in May 2018 fantasist fuckchump fraudster was moving house “for the eighteenth time in her short life”

And then moved briefly into a (non-crappy) bungalow for a mere 8 months,

til in Jan 2019 she shouted “I WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE!!!” in LJC’s face, jammed a ring on her finger, a lease and a pen into her hand and a mere month later moved (for the “nineteenth time in her short life”) into the crappy retirement bungamansion where she’s lived ever since

yet somehow moving out of bungaversailles is going to be her twenty seventh house move.

She’s about as good at maths (and keeping track of her lies) as she is at cooking.
House ss @colouredlines

 

[hoopdedoo]

She was so thrilled at getting her photo taken for the graun and simultaneously too stupid to realise the piece was a subtle hatchet job.
---
She was actually crowing about it.

CROWING.

In retrospect, she said more about being nekkid in the tub than she did about the book the interview was supposed to promote.

 

[MooBelle]

I hate to be the one but that coinage is now probably back in circulation.
Right now one of you could have a flap-touch copper in your pocket.
I'm sitting here thanking Jesus for the euro!

Ffs Tuit. I've been a big cheerleader of the 'always use cash' brigade but now I'm considering having a microchip implanted in my hand to use to pay for things rather than touch coins again.

 

[Boogs]

fantasist fuckchump fraudster

It’s a massive shame we can’t have swears in titles.

 

[hoopdedoo]

I know nothing makes sense in the Jackiverse, but why would you sand the bookcases before moving them? Wouldn't you prepare them for painting in the new place they were going to?

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Wow it’s been a whole year since we had this fascinating house move content. Can you believe it?

View attachment 2586750
View attachment 2586751
That’s a good tip for keeping screws safe when moving. Do you think Jack has a lot of little baggies hanging around the house?

I’m sorry but if you were getting ready to move why the absolute duck would you go to all the trouble of dismantling, sanding painting and then reassembling a load of old bookcases into one mahoosive unit? I mean….why? Please make it make sense.
ETA: @rage naan got there first

 

[nothanksbabes]

The pathological lying makes me feel anxious.

She tells an overblown lie based on what she would like to happen, is incapable of following through even the simplest of tasks so obviously the giant lie never comes to pass, and she looks an even bigger bleep every time.

Her entire life is some imagined fantasy narrative, but she's not even lying about anything interesting?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’m sorry but if you were getting ready to move why the absolute duck would you go to all the trouble of dismantling, sanding painting and then reassembling a load of old bookcases into one mahoosive unit? I mean….why? Please make it make sense.

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There are myriad reasons I don’t miss her in this glorious silence but high up on the list is not reading about every single bleeping thing being done carefully, painstakingly, softly and gently.

Oh and tit like this. The tedious (smol) twit.

ss @Marmalade Atkins

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

The pathological lying makes me feel anxious.

She tells an overblown lie based on what she would like to happen, is incapable of following through even the simplest of tasks so obviously the giant lie never comes to pass, and she looks an even bigger bleep every time.

Her entire life is some imagined fantasy narrative, but she's not even lying about anything interesting?

And then when she gets caught, very publicly may I add, she just LIES MORE

 

[MooBelle]

Lads, I have some news. Not huge but news none the less.
I've said before how my job means I have to attend Parliament from time to time. Well, I was there this week and walking towards the office we were due to have a meeting in. Alas, no police officer 'waved me through' nor did any of them call me a 'legend'. In fact the automatic rifle carrying officers did their level best not to communicate. Really strange behaviour seeing as Jack said that basically police officers are just doormen who have the job of waving you through security and haven’t got anything better to do. Also weird that I had to show ID and sign a book to get my pass and yet Jack was just 'waved through' and had to prove her identity by wearing a hat.
Anyway, in the hall we passed by a bloke who I vaguely recognised he stepped aside to let us pass and my boss turned to me and hissed in my ear
'30P LEEEEEEEEEEEE'
So yeah, it was Lee Anderson.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

I love that in May 2018 fantasist fuckchump fraudster was moving house “for the eighteenth time in her short life”
View attachment 2586857View attachment 2586858
And then moved briefly into a (non-crappy) bungalow for a mere 8 months,View attachment 2586864 til in Jan 2019 she shouted “I WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE!!!” in LJC’s face, jammed a ring on her finger, a lease and a pen into her hand and a mere month later moved (for the “nineteenth time in her short life”) into the crappy retirement bungamansion where she’s lived ever sinceView attachment 2586867 yet somehow moving out of bungaversailles is going to be her twenty seventh house move.
View attachment 2586872She’s about as good at maths (and keeping track of her lies) as she is at cooking.
House ss @colouredlines

Reader, she’d shown her ‘friend’ a photograph of the kitchen. And by friend, I mean random on t’internet. And by photograph, I mean pic that she posted.