Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

[Valiofthedolls]

Her entire life is some imagined fantasy narrative, but she's not even lying about anything interesting

THREAD TITLE NOMINATION!!!

 

[Boogs]

I would love to know the truth behind her move. Was it ever really meant to happen? Was she buying? Is she still in the bungamansion now?

 

[Cat Face]

g: Well, the seats are in that box. The legs are in a separate box with the screws.
P: Why did you disassemble your chairs? We would have moved them whole
g: STOP HARASSING ME

/g scampers away muttering something about relentless harrassment

 

[Boogs]

/g scampers away muttering something about relentless harrassment

Contacts the celeb squad.

 

[rage naan]

What is she on about. What shed? How was there a permanent shed as well as 27 kitchens? Is it like a Harry potter shed that she can carry around in a suit case. Where is the shed? If it's at her parents' house then I'm gonna get cross. #shedtruther

 

[griftalo]

There are myriad reasons I don’t miss her in this glorious silence but high up on the list is not reading about every single bleeping thing being done carefully, painstakingly, softly and gently.

Oh and tit like this. The tedious (smol) twit.
View attachment 2586924View attachment 2586926ss @Marmalade Atkins

She looks less like a hotdog here and more like an actual rooster with glasses on

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

She looks less like a hotdog here and more like an actual rooster with glasses on

Bib….I mean, c’mon…..look, I know it’s sweary but…..no, you’re right….yes, yes, I know.…..I’m sorry

 

[hoopdedoo]

Lads, I have some news. Not huge but news none the less.
I've said before how my job means I have to attend Parliament from time to time. Well, I was there this week and walking towards the office we were due to have a meeting in. Alas, no police officer 'waved me through' nor did any of them call me a 'legend'. In fact the automatic rifle carrying officers did their level best not to communicate. Really strange behaviour seeing as Jack said that basically police officers are just doormen who have the job of waving you through security and haven’t got anything better to do. Also weird that I had to show ID and sign a book to get my pass and yet Jack was just 'waved through' and had to prove her identity by wearing a hat.
Anyway, in the hall we passed by a bloke who I vaguely recognised he stepped aside to let us pass and my boss turned to me and hissed in my ear
'30P LEEEEEEEEEEEE'
So yeah, it was Lee Anderson.

Did you threaten to sue him?

Reader, she’d shown her ‘friend’ a photograph of the kitchen. And by friend, I mean random on t’internet. And by photograph, I mean pic that she posted.

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If this was a real-life friend (yes, I know), they were probably thinking "like a photograph of "before" on one of those reality TV hoarder shows".

 

[Valiofthedolls]

View attachment 2586957What is she on about. What shed? How was there a permanent shed as well as 27 kitchens? Is it like a Harry potter shed that she can carry around in a suit case. Where is the shed? If it's at her parents' house then I'm gonna get cross. #shedtruther

She’s got a Shed SHED that she uses to store all her sheds in. Keeps them safe from the shed burglars too.

 

[PunkyMonkey]

I've just realised I went to that exact tattoo studio in 2012!

View attachment 2576043

Thankfully that's my friend and not me getting the tattoo.

We have friends in common it seems! Please cover up that very recognisable tattoo?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Wow it’s been a whole year since we had this fascinating house move content. Can you believe it?

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That’s a good tip for keeping screws safe when moving. Do you think Jack has a lot of little baggies hanging around the house?

What an amateur. You label the screw bags then put them in the box, not taped outside where they will get knocked off

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Bib….I mean, c’mon…..look, I know it’s sweary but…..no, you’re right….yes, yes, I know.…..I’m sorry

Look, we could just post it and if mods change it just point out that it's the truth, man. Literally and figuratively a bespectacled rooster.

 

[Boogs]

Is rooster necessarily a swear word?
I mean this is a rooster with unruly flaps.

 

[L3moning]

THREAD TITLE NOMINATION!!!
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I seem to think we've had something vaguely similar to that before!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Is rooster necessarily a swear word?
I mean this is a rooster with unruly flaps.

We weren’t allowed bumhole. And someone put wanker and mods changed it to merchant banker.

 

[griftalo]

We weren’t allowed bumhole. And someone put wanker and mods changed it to merchant banker.

Can we have cockerel then?

 

[BlendedSlop]

The use of "painstakingly" to describe everything from painting a bookcase to wearing some hideous clip-in sisterwife hair extensions "for continuity reasons" is by far one of the most irritating Jackisms to me.

 

[Jemadah]

The use of "painstakingly" to describe everything from painting a bookcase to wearing some hideous clip-in sisterwife hair extensions "for continuity reasons" is by far one of the most irritating Jackisms to me.

Plus the fact that painting is painstaking but not the disassembling the bookcases.

And oh that I were so poor that I didn't sell the "gifted" Smeg fridge that had just sat in my garage for years.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

What about "chicken with glasses on"

 

[Bwidge]

What about "chicken with glasses on"

How about "pen with glasses on"? Last time I checked it wasn't a swear word.
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