Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

[MaineCoonMama]

I dunno. It may provide some cover for certain individuals at A&E:
”So you say you were trying to open a tin of beans but you’re too poor to own a tin opener, so you used a tip from a well-known poverty campaigner and tried using the sharpest of your knives, all your courage and a mallet but you couldn't find a mallet so you searched around and found the little ‘un’s Action Man amongst the wrapping paper but the punctured can then sprayed some bean juice on the floor and you slipped, fell on the Action Man and, as it was early Xmas morning and you hadn’t yet got dressed, it entered you anally?”

Wait, what? That's not the ending I was expecting. Still a wilder ride than Jack's
Emin-in-the-loo wild ride.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I thought the industry whatsapp was full of posts about her being an obnoxious wanker. I guess you can call that spicy chat. I would love a book review and recipoe critic to be done on her by the likes of Gordon Ramsey from his hellls kitchen era. She would definately be an idiot sandwich and more.

 

[Florid Language]

I think even the online motivator who tags guest every day is trolling her now.
Today's quote is "Act like you can't afford the bread until they find out you own the bakery. Stay humble".
I laughed at a few tit posters that I follow mentioning her without being challenged or harassed by her stans too.
The tide is definitely turning.

 

[StatusWoe]

One of my fave pretend BS Jacks was the one where she claimed her sources in the news media were giving her info on some unfolding situation, like she’s fkin Linda Day. See also the London attack she tried to glom on when her and LJC heard the news, looked at each other and “knew what we had to do” as if LJC and Jack are at a Similar level running news departments. Like Jack had to crack open the laptop and tweet.

On another thread I follow, someone nominated 'the lion, the witch and the audacity of this witch' as a title. It's SO applicable to everything Jack does.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

You couldn’t pay me £5.98 to have THAT BOOK in my house

The hardback is cheaper than the kindle! They must need the warehouse space. How long will they hold on to them before they are pulped?

 

[FrumpyCat]

It looks like a last attempt to hit the ' what can we buy for your gran? Oh that will do, I'll order it on Amazon prime, no, I don't care if she likes it, she never likes anything we buy her anyway' Christmas market.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

By December 2012 she was freelancing as a columnist with two local newspapers so the "crafts"/photography weren't her only income ... otherwise she would have been up a gum tree! The earliest of her local news columns I've found online was from November 2012 about the death of her grandfather, that was the same month she went self-employed

Can't recall who was asking what guest charged for her photos, well here are some prices: 4″ x 6″ framed £18, 8″ x 6″ framed £32, 12″ x 16″ framed £48

On another thread I follow, someone nominated 'the lion, the witch and the audacity of this witch' as a title. It's SO applicable to everything Jack does.

Or the infamous Doctor Who title "The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe."

 

[StatusWoe]

Or the infamous Doctor Who title "The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe Sideboard."

Just altered the title a bit.
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It looks like a last attempt to hit the ' what can we buy for your gran? Oh that will do, I'll order it on Amazon prime, no, I don't care if she likes it, she never likes anything we buy her anyway' Christmas market.

''She never cooks. It'll be perfect for her.''

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

By December 2012 she was freelancing as a columnist with two local newspapers so the "crafts"/photography weren't her only income ... otherwise she would have been up a gum tree! The earliest of her local news columns I've found online was from November 2012 about the death of her grandfather, that was the same month she went self-employed

Can't recall who was asking what guest charged for her photos, well here are some prices: 4″ x 6″ framed £18, 8″ x 6″ framed £32, 12″ x 16″ framed £48



Or the infamous Doctor Who title "The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe."

The Liar, the Grift and the Sideboards.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

And here's another of the photos she was selling, of someone else's street art at a market - not even her own! I wonder what the artist had to say about that

 

[Mrs Peel]

The Liar, the Grift and the Sideboards.

Jinx! (nearly)

https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-513-breitling-on-a-bootstrap.39550/page-27#post-15420949

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

Fashion design and needlecraft? View attachment 2577684

That topstitching haunts my nightmares.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

By December 2012 she was freelancing as a columnist with two local newspapers so the "crafts"/photography weren't her only income ... otherwise she would have been up a gum tree! The earliest of her local news columns I've found online was from November 2012 about the death of her grandfather, that was the same month she went self-employed

Can't recall who was asking what guest charged for her photos, well here are some prices: 4″ x 6″ framed £18, 8″ x 6″ framed £32, 12″ x 16″ framed £48



Or the infamous Doctor Who title "The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe."

"2012 is the year I refer to as my annus horribilis"

She thinks she's the bleeping queen.

 

[Boogs]

"2012 is the year I refer to as my annus horribilis"

She thinks she's the bleeping queen.

Well they are both national treasures who’ve had to stay strong in the face of significant adversity and lead during difficult times. I’d struggle to tell the difference if it wasn’t for the fact that the queen probably wouldn’t have been able to bench press guest.

 

[Girty Drifter]

They’ve sold another one. Another 5p in the forever home fund. She’s on 12% 23 hours after we first noticed it was being sold at rock bottom price to shift stock the fantastic offer

 

[blurstoftimes]

popping back on this thread becuase our neighbours house caught fire this morning (everyone safe but the house is ducked) and we just found out it was due to all the hanging stuff (wicker baskets, utensils etc) they had in their kitchen. a piece of food was stuck to the hob and caused enough smoke that stuff hanging above it caught fire. Really hammers home how dangerous Jack’s kitchen of horrors is which is surprising coming from Southend’s pluckiest fire safety expert

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Be cheaper to pulp them than post ‘em, surely.

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

popping back on this thread becuase our neighbours house caught fire this morning (everyone safe but the house is ducked) and we just found out it was due to all the hanging stuff (wicker baskets, utensils etc) they had in their kitchen. a piece of food was stuck to the hob and caused enough smoke that stuff hanging above it caught fire. Really hammers home how dangerous Jack’s kitchen of horrors is which is surprising coming from Southend’s pluckiest fire safety expert

Oh love, that's so scary - so glad you're okay. x

 

[Soup or Noodle]

This will never not be funny.
I've done a rundown/explanation on this before but will do it again because her tweets are so bleeping hysterical and embarrassing.
For younger and abroad Fraus...
From the eighties to the noughties 'The Bill' was a soap opera based in the fictitious London Police station of Sun Hill. It was an iconic series with iconic characters. It was also known as a launch pad for many celebrities at the beginning of their careers.
The character 'DCI Frank Burnside' was a legend. He was a smooth talking, heavy drinking, old fashioned kind of cop. His catchphrase 'you're nicked sunshine' was heavily copied and parodied throughout the decades.
In short, the fact that Jack thought this was at first a real Policeman and after that someone impersonating a policeman is just hilarious and pathetic.
She really is incredibly thick.
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Had to read that twice because I thought that you were saying your Grandma would buy you a plastic poo.
I've had a really long day...

DCI Frank Burnside is up there with (that absolute banger) Georgia Church Suppers as an example to us all to stop, think, read and research before sharing our thoughts to the world on the internets. Although if guest had done this, we'd have missed some of the best comedic moments these threads have had.

 

[Shimmering]

Another 5p in the forever home fund

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