Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

[I'm not actually here]

Yeah I bet they have

Thank you clever Fraus und Herrs for saving this precious footage from the abyss!

Not sure you will feel it is precious after forcing yourself to watch it, dearest @StewPots!

 

[nothanksbabes]

They're in the Wiki. Cactus and BBC have erased them from history but a clever frau got them their entirety before they were zapped.

Imagine being so bleeping dire the BBC won't even retain any evidence of you for archival purposes.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

The show has no merit. They couldn't repeat it and its only value is for comedy purposes.

 

[Hold my beans]

Sir Matt probably refused to sign a new contract until they were removed

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Do we know how long after the last episode aired she removed the words "television presenter" from her hellsite bio?

 

[StewPots]

Not sure you will feel it is precious after forcing yourself to watch it, dearest @StewPots!

Yeah, I mean - I’m going to stock up on bleach for my eyes and ears afterwards. After just reading about them on here, I’ve cringed so hard that watching them will be unbearable but I must get through them. It’s a Slop Initiation I feel.

 

[Emmapism]

Imagine being so bleeping dire the BBC won't even retain any evidence of you for archival purposes.

Threeeeeead title

 

[Jemadah]

Crimbleytime Trifle

Save some old crusts of bread, soak in some tinned mandarin juice you stored in an old shoe. Go foraging for some of those festive white berries on your neighbours bush, don’t give a thought to if they are poisonous or not (no one will eat it anyway).
Press bread firmly down in an old pedal bin. Pour on any remaining juice.
Air fry the bin

Gently place your berries on top.
Make a custard from anchovy tin oil and soy milk - in the nutribullet. If you’re too pov to own one, glue a vibrator to a jam jar instead. Add your slop custard to the pedal bin.
Whip up some aquafaba to make “cream”, and spread on the trifle.
Lastly, spray some stuffing mix crumbs with rose gold spray paint and fling casually on top.
Go round to the pub nearby and fish a cherry out of an abandoned glass, lick any residue off. Place atop the painted crumbs and voila!
Merry gastroenteritis

I was already giggling, then just nearly choked laughing at the homemade nutribullet

 

[HotesTilaire]

Apropos of nothing…saw this stock picture of “parent drinking too much” and thought of y’all

 

[hereforthechaos]

Now that Jack is persona slop grata, and with Christmas nearly upon us, I’ve found her some seasonal work on Instagram which, if she’s good, could lead to full time employment…

Have we had persona slop grata as you know what yet?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Apologies for dropping in like this but where does the 'smol pixie taken advantage of by nefarious mainstream media ' fit in with the timeline of her being one of Southend's most intrepid reporters and member of several journalist unions?

Not 100% sure how this 2013 tiny vulnerable smol exploited pixie of “23” years old in mid-2013 (born March 1988)

Fits in with this feisty fantasist who SHOUTED at the Labour Party leader at the same time FULL ON TEMPER LOST

AND had already CONFRONTED him the year before

By “confront” Ed Miliband, see (as she tells it a mere day later) “got his right hand man’s business card”

AND I’M SO IMPORTANT I KNOW LOCAL COUNCILLORS!!!

bleeping lying (manipulative) fantasist.

Jack Monroe #544 Expensive beige sideboards to match her expensively beige personality

I always like to look at other people bookshelves when I go round to theirs and I’m much more impressed by ones that are well-read. Why yes, I *am* fun at parties, thank you for asking. You and I will have to nod at each other in dignified silence if we ever meet at a mutual aquaintance's...

tattle.life

 

[hoopdedoo]

I had a terrible thought this morning on the train to work (actual work, not imaginary).

Perhaps guest is quiet because she is preparing her debut as a recording artist. Yes, she cannot sing, and cannot play an instrument - even a keyboard with annotated tape markers on all the keys - but when has that stopped anyone from posting their noise on Bandcamp or SoundCloud?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

[griftalo]

p.

I read this in the voice of John Cooper Clarke and all I can say is

You said John Cooper Clarke and I thought of Jilted John and that kinda works too

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Not 100% sure how this 2013 tiny vulnerable smol exploited pixie of “23” years old in mid-2013 (born March 1988)
View attachment 2583035

Fits in with this feisty fantasist who SHOUTED at the Labour Party leader at the same time FULL ON TEMPER LOST

View attachment 2583038
AND had already CONFRONTED him the year before
View attachment 2583042
By “confront” Ed Miliband, see (as she tells it a mere day later) “got his right hand man’s business card”
View attachment 2583046
AND I’M SO IMPORTANT I KNOW LOCAL COUNCILLORS!!!

bleeping lying (manipulative) fantasist.

Jack Monroe #544 Expensive beige sideboards to match her expensively beige personality

I always like to look at other people bookshelves when I go round to theirs and I’m much more impressed by ones that are well-read. Why yes, I *am* fun at parties, thank you for asking. You and I will have to nod at each other in dignified silence if we ever meet at a mutual aquaintance's...

tattle.life

I keep forgetting to ask, has anyone’s two year old ever asked them where their breakfast was if they weren’t also eating? Small children are so self absorbed it doesn’t occur to them to ask where mummy or daddy’s breakfast is. Her sob story about her son asking her why mummy doesn’t have any breakfast is complete fantasy

 

[ChactFecker]

I had a terrible thought this morning on the train to work (actual work, not imaginary).

nearly as bad as the thought she would end up on

I'm a celebrity slow cooker full of tea, get me out of here! off the gear!
I'm a celebrity in poverty, get give me out of here tit for free!

 

[griftalo]

My youngest child came out of school today and when asked what was for dinner they said “slop”.
Which I found very funny. I have never been asked by any of my kids why I’m not eating breakfast, ever. Or dinner either. It just doesn’t occur to them. They might offer me a taste of something they are eating if we are out and they have a snack and I don’t but at home it just doesn’t cross their mind. They know I do eat so

I keep forgetting to ask, has anyone’s two year old ever asked them where their breakfast was if they weren’t also eating? Small children are so self absorbed it doesn’t occur to them to ask where mummy or daddy’s breakfast is. Her sob story about her son asking her why mummy doesn’t have any breakfast is complete fantasy

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Jilted John is now the fantastic John Shuttleworth

"Two Cotswold sideboards on the go? It's a nightmare scenario."

"I can't go back to sausagne now"

Etc etc

 

[Mr Krabs]

Imagine being so bleeping dire the BBC won't even retain any evidence of you for archival purposes.

I reckon they’ve hidden the tapes away in that warehouse thing at the end of Indiana Jones. Someday, it may be found alongside the lost Doctor Who episodes and footage of that naked game show presented by Keith Chegwin.

The BBC should hold onto the tape really. They can use the archive footage in the Netflix documentary. (Just kidding, she’s Channel 5 at best).

 

[Florid Language]

p.

You said John Cooper Clarke and I thought of Jilted John and that kinda works too

Yeah, yeah, it's not fair
I'm so upset, I'm so upset
Yeah, yeah

 

[mchops]

I know I'm probably pissing in the wind, so I'll set the bar lower than good at.
Has she ever to anybodies knowledge been competent at anything ? I can't think of one thing that isn't just getting away with this tit for a lifetime.
Cooking x
Television x
Writing x
The list goes on and on. No even a competent liar.