Jack Monroe #549 Two different one's in three's

[BeardyBap]

Firstly, I'm convinced that every single person working in Serendipity is better qualified to prepare & serve food than guest is.
Secondly, can you imagine the sinking feeling the staff suffer when she walks in? "When I worked in Blackfoot/on the telly/in collabs with big name brands..."
Alright, give it a rest Uncle Albert, you're known for begging on the internet these days.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

give it a rest Uncle Albert

Flip me over, I'm done

 

[Foxvint]

Jack will find herself too famous to so much as butter a slice of toast in that cafe unless it's for a photo op look how down I am with the little people moment like Prince William when he takes a booking at some Indian he's visiting. I bet she hangs around waiting for someone to recognise her though. Although given how adverse her mum and dad are to owning or publicising her she'll deffo be sleeves down for the incognito.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I felt, (and I know this is touchy and I probably shouldn’t comment because I have to be honest, I don’t really understand such things so please forgive me if this comes across completely inappropriately) that Jack was back wearing the binder in the Curry’s promo. I definitely felt she had moved back to a more masculine look including binder. But I did wonder if part of this choice was she could decry any criticism as it being from gender critics. There, I’ve said it I’ve been mithering over it since the campaign was released.

I believe she is genuinely very dysphoric - all the selfies when she’s edited herself to look otherworldly/almost certainly worse than she did IRL prove that for me and the constantly changing looks etc.

But at the same time I think she weaponises it as much as she weaponises everything else so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d decided to appear a specific way in order to have a shield.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

So turns out big Daddy D’s heritage project is open. I can’t decide whether Mam E popping up randomly to shamelessly promote the cafe and the sausagne sausage sandwiches means that Jack is or is not slinging slop there

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Notice that while she “went there” and “recommends” them, at no point does she say she’s actually eaten one, or what they taste like.

A (married) LADY DOCTOR visited the project! This family doesn’t half encounter a lot of LADY doctors, (married) LADY farmers and LADY solicitors etc etc. You’d think by this point they’d be so used to LADIES doing all sorts of jobs that they wouldn’t need to incessantly stress that they’re LADIES.
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Spoiler: Mither

I know this is a thread about Jack not ma and pa but I couldn’t help laughing at Pa at a few scant DVDs boxes. He must go into raptures when he’s gazing upon Jack’s performative packing boxes.

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Truly, the Hadjicostas' days must be full of amazement.

 

[Foxvint]

I thought she looked thin rather than going for the trans man look in the currys pics but I wouldn't be surprised if she pops back up with a *deep breath* announcement for some much needed attention, sympathy and £££. Wouldn't put anything past her in her desperate cling to her declining fame and newsworthiness. Maybe part of the reason she's been missing so long? She definitely didn't flog that one for all it was worth last time around. Probably only cos she met a straight man to case.

 

[Hold my beans]

Flip me over, I'm done

"During the twittaaa"

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

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They assembled a few racks and built five packs of Archive boxes and lids. What do they expect - another bloody medal? It's not as though they've done anything else other than create some serious trip hazards.

 

[Hollaaa]

Which box is the ride-on gun in?

 

[Flivver]

They assembled a few racks and built five packs of Archive boxes and lids. What do they expect - another bloody medal? It's not as though they've done anything else other than create some serious trip hazards.

I hope that racking is secured to the wall especially if there’s heavy tut in those boxes.

You can see where JM has inherited her love of storage boxes and hazardous storage from. As someone on here once said, the wankee doesn’t fall far from the wanker.

 

[MancBee]

So turns out big Daddy D’s heritage project is open. I can’t decide whether Mam E popping up randomly to shamelessly promote the cafe and the sausagne sausage sandwiches means that Jack is or is not slinging slop there

View attachment 2552364
Notice that while she “went there” and “recommends” them, at no point does she say she’s actually eaten one, or what they taste like.

A (married) LADY DOCTOR visited the project! This family doesn’t half encounter a lot of LADY doctors, (married) LADY farmers and LADY solicitors etc etc. You’d think by this point they’d be so used to LADIES doing all sorts of jobs that they wouldn’t need to incessantly stress that they’re LADIES.
View attachment 2552390

Spoiler: Mither

I know this is a thread about Jack not ma and pa but I couldn’t help laughing at Pa at a few scant DVDs boxes. He must go into raptures when he’s gazing upon Jack’s performative packing boxes.

View attachment 2552401View attachment 2552403

They sound like the dullest family going. The sort you hate to be sitting next to on a beach.

 

[Flivver]

They sound like the dullest family going. The sort you hate to be sitting next to on a beach.

This is why I’d never go on a cruise. With my luck, I’d end up sitting next to someone like this night after night at dinner. They’d go on and on about their medals and good works and there’d be no escape!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

They sound like the dullest family going. The sort you hate to be sitting next to on a beach.

If you did want to go to the beach though…

Spoiler

This taxi company is family-recommended

On topic:

 

[StewPots]

This has just reminded me of Mortgages4Feet and the ridiculous levels of misplaced confidence + ignorance of how life works. #jackmaths

I have tattoos on both feet. I wonder if I could use them as a form of ID. I’m too much of a povvo for a mortgage, but perhaps I can produce them to get an OnlyFans account?

 

[ScamSandwich]

Jack will find herself too famous to so much as butter a slice of toast in that cafe unless it's for a photo op look how down I am with the little people moment like Prince William when he takes a booking at some Indian he's visiting. I bet she hangs around waiting for someone to recognise her though. Although given how adverse her mum and dad are to owning or publicising her she'll deffo be sleeves down for the incognito.

There will be definitively a "Thank you for all you do" moment from a stranger. Like thanking Mother Theresa or Ghandi.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Chriiiiiiist that looks a fash nana paradise.

The café has a 4.8* on Google reviews so I presume Jack has no involvement in the day to day running of the kitchen, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Big Dave has her on the payroll in some capacity. Saviour of the Poors consulting on a space filled with union jacks and poppy shaggers.

Google reviews lets customers submit photos. Could guest produce this?

No. She could not.

Spoiler: Not sure about this one

 

[Cat Face]

I thought she looked thin rather than going for the trans man look in the currys pics but I wouldn't be surprised if she pops back up with a *deep breath* announcement for some much needed attention, sympathy and £££. Wouldn't put anything past her in her desperate cling to her declining fame and newsworthiness. Maybe part of the reason she's been missing so long? She definitely didn't flog that one for all it was worth last time around. Probably only cos she met a straight man to case.

I didn't think she looked (particularly) thin in the pics. Her second chin is developing and she looked like she's filled out around the waist.

I'm just intrigued about the blemish on her face that looks like a bruise (the side-on pic). Why wasn't it hidden under make up?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Lol I don’t think even Nepo D would give his slopcook financially inept ghastly daughter a nonprofit cafe to run in his nonprofit enterprise, but I’m sure he’s found something for her to do

 

[Cat Face]

Google reviews lets customers submit photos. Could guest produce this?

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No. She could not.

Spoiler: Not sure about this one

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YES she could...look at how perfectly round those fried eggs are! They use egg rings!! (and they're overdone)

Sausages are burnt.

That poncy banana porridge has Jack's name on it.

And spray cream?? SPRAY CREAM??!! It needs either whipped cream or clotted cream or extra thick cream (that you dollop rather than pour); spray cream is not a good substitute.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

This is why I’d never go on a cruise. With my luck, I’d end up sitting next to someone like this night after night at dinner. They’d go on and on about their medals and good works and there’d be no escape!

Can you imagine? You'd spend the whole cruise hiding from them! I bet Big D is one of those men that talks really loud on purpose, just so everyone nearby can hear his Very Important Views.